Hello, I'm new here...I'm not a parent myself (although I hope to be one day) but for the past two months I've been tutoring my boyfriends little sister, she's ten.
Well I started tutoring her because her mom mentioned to me one day that last year she pretty much made all Fs. And she (the mother) didn't see why they passed her at all. Well since I've been helping her, her grades have went from all Fs to all Cs. And it really hasn't taken much but to make her do her homework and help her study for her tests. Before I came along her parents weren't making her study for tests, or checking her homework. She did her homework but she'd rush through it just to get it done and most of it was wrong. The mother believes it is the school's fault for her making bad grades, she believes they should be doing everything. She has talked to the teachers and they now have her a tutor during study hall to help her with her homework. Her mother doesn't ground her for anything, this woman is extremely passive. I've seen Anna bring home an all F report card before and all her mom says is "oh Anna". Her mom let's her go over to her friends' houses and church on Wednesday night before her homework is even done. She even let's her stay the night at friends on school nights. The dad really doesn't pay much attention to her grades since he works all day and doesn't get home till sometimes 9 PM.
I am not always able to be there every day to help her with her homework. So either her school tutor helps her with it or she has to do it at home. (her mom never helps her with it). The other day she had to correct a homework that she had turned in and missed about half of the problems. Well the particular homework when she first did it had to be signed by a parent. Her mother signed it however she obviously didn't help her with it or checked it. (this was a math assignment that could easily be checked with a calculator). The mom told Anna that if she brought home one more F she would be going to a different school (since she believes its the schools fault she's not doing well) I guess the mom is just not really sure what to do considering her first two children, both boys had no problem in school. They are 26 and 19. So Anna is also the baby.
Also when me and Anna are studying the mom doesn't see how important it is and doesn't help me keep her on task. The mom practically gives her distractions. I don't wanna get on to Anna too much because its not my place and I also don't want to tell the mom what to do because she's her mom not me.
So really what I need is some advice on how to gently approach the subject of giving Anna structure with her homework and not letting her go anywhere until its done. I am extemely close with his family and want to keep it that way. I don't want to step on any toes.
I was also thinking maybe if there was some kind of article or checklist on helping kids with their school I could have her read that mentioned that school comes first.
Thanks for listening sorry the post is so long.
Well I started tutoring her because her mom mentioned to me one day that last year she pretty much made all Fs. And she (the mother) didn't see why they passed her at all. Well since I've been helping her, her grades have went from all Fs to all Cs. And it really hasn't taken much but to make her do her homework and help her study for her tests. Before I came along her parents weren't making her study for tests, or checking her homework. She did her homework but she'd rush through it just to get it done and most of it was wrong. The mother believes it is the school's fault for her making bad grades, she believes they should be doing everything. She has talked to the teachers and they now have her a tutor during study hall to help her with her homework. Her mother doesn't ground her for anything, this woman is extremely passive. I've seen Anna bring home an all F report card before and all her mom says is "oh Anna". Her mom let's her go over to her friends' houses and church on Wednesday night before her homework is even done. She even let's her stay the night at friends on school nights. The dad really doesn't pay much attention to her grades since he works all day and doesn't get home till sometimes 9 PM.
I am not always able to be there every day to help her with her homework. So either her school tutor helps her with it or she has to do it at home. (her mom never helps her with it). The other day she had to correct a homework that she had turned in and missed about half of the problems. Well the particular homework when she first did it had to be signed by a parent. Her mother signed it however she obviously didn't help her with it or checked it. (this was a math assignment that could easily be checked with a calculator). The mom told Anna that if she brought home one more F she would be going to a different school (since she believes its the schools fault she's not doing well) I guess the mom is just not really sure what to do considering her first two children, both boys had no problem in school. They are 26 and 19. So Anna is also the baby.
Also when me and Anna are studying the mom doesn't see how important it is and doesn't help me keep her on task. The mom practically gives her distractions. I don't wanna get on to Anna too much because its not my place and I also don't want to tell the mom what to do because she's her mom not me.
So really what I need is some advice on how to gently approach the subject of giving Anna structure with her homework and not letting her go anywhere until its done. I am extemely close with his family and want to keep it that way. I don't want to step on any toes.
I was also thinking maybe if there was some kind of article or checklist on helping kids with their school I could have her read that mentioned that school comes first.
Thanks for listening sorry the post is so long.