New to the forums...

[gennifurlynn]

Hi I'm new here and thought I should I guess explain my situation. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and he has a son that is 5. His sons mother has remarried to his best friend (now ex best friend). It's pretty ironic but the exact same thing happened to me with my parents (my mom, dad, and step-dad) so I feel like I have an advantage with dealing with all this. Things are quite interesting. The mother has another son from a different father as well and he is 10. The mother would really like to have the picture perfect family and not have my boyfriend as his father even though my boyfriend is a wonderful father and very active in his life. True he is still learning and even though I am not a parent I feel like I know more about parenting than him just from the pyschology classes I've taken, babysitting, being an older sister and my shear want to be a parent. Because of this I have become the voice of authority in the house. Which has it's downfalls. I dont pretend I know everything I ask my parents for advice a lot. I feel like my boyfriend doesnt know what the boundaries and expections should be with his son. Which a lot of it is just him being a father (wanting to let him watch scary movies and jump on the couch). Basically I love kids and I can't wait to have one of my own.


I felt it was imporatant to let people know about my situation to help them give me advice when needed.

 

[Dadu2004]

First off, welcome to the forum! We're happy to have you here.

Secondly, and I hate to criticize you on your first post, be careful. You said you feel that you know more about parenting because of classes, etc. You can take all of the classes you want, babysit as many kids as you want, have as many siblings as the Brady Bunch, but until you physically have a child of your own, you really don't know that much about parenting. Things are SOOO different when you have your own child. I'm not saying that you don't have a good knowledge base built, but he has a child and you don't...don't assume you know more. However, we do have some posters on here with no children, and they have WONDERFUL things to offer...and their knowledge is incredible!

Anyway, welcome again, and I look forward to hearing more from you!

 

[Merrifox]

Welcome

Agreed, it's a whole new ballgame once the child is flesh instead of paper...Luckily you're not afraid to ask for help

 

[gennifurlynn]

Ok maybe I shouldn't have said I know more about parenting, how about about kids in general and their needs and wants etc. I enjoy children and being around them where he does not. Also if I adopted a child I wouldn't know about parenting just cause I didn't give birth to him? If this is what I am interested in and I study parenting and how to be a good parent etc. then I think I would.

 

[gennifurlynn]

I think you also need to understand he never wanted to be a parent where I cannot wait to be a parent. I think someone who wants that compared to someone who doesnt is going to be interested in that and find out as much as they can.

 

[gennifurlynn]

I really don't feel to comfortable posting anything asking for advice here now. I didn't come here to be critized... next time maybe consider not critizing someone on their first post, maybe just realize they said something they shouldn't have or misworded and let them get their on feet with posting and see what else they have to say.

 

[Dadu2004]

I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable, but you may be a bit too touchy. The thing about a forum is that everyone has opinions...and opinions are nothing more than opinions. Take them or leave them!

Either way, I hope you decide to stick around...if not, good luck to you!

 

[HappyMomma]

Welcome!

 

[Music-dad]

Oh c'mon, you all know that I am the greatest parent there is and ever will be, and I have set the bar so high that it will take millions of years for anyone to catch up to me.

...just trying to lighten this thread a bit, fact is, I learn as I go...and I still know squat...that's why I'm here.

Welcome!

 

[Sirk]

I really don't feel to comfortable posting anything asking for advice here now. I didn't come here to be critized... next time maybe consider not critizing someone on their first post, maybe just realize they said something they shouldn't have or misworded and let them get their on feet with posting and see what else they have to say.

Look! Look! A new user was run off and I haven't even posted yet!

Gennifur, you posted here criticizing someone else's situation. You wanted advice. You got it. If Dadu of all people was too harsh for you I think you're being very thin skinned. <SIZE size="75">I didn't even get to ask you why you're with someone who doesn't want kids when you can't wait to have them.</SIZE>
You're welcome to post there when you're ready to hear honest opinions, both good and bad.

You can take all of the classes you want, babysit as many kids as you want, have as many siblings as the Brady Bunch, but until you physically have a child of your own, you really don't know that much about parenting. Things are SOOO different when you have your own child.

I have to agree with this. The people who don't have kids but are so bossy and know it all about how people should parent are soooo annoying.

 

[gennifurlynn]

"Gennifur, you posted here criticizing someone else's situation. You wanted advice. You got it. If Dadu of all people was too harsh for you I think you're being very thin skinned. <SIZE size="75">I didn't even get to ask you why you're with someone who doesn't want kids when you can't wait to have them.</SIZE>
You're welcome to post there when you're ready to hear honest opinions, both good and bad."



If you read what I posted you'd see that I wasn't lookin for advice i was mearily introducing myself and explaining my situation. I also reposted saying I didn't mean exactly what I said, it came out wrong.