Not so Happy update, DH understands more now...

[momandmore]

This is kind of a vent but also a breakthrough for DH. DH was in tears when I was done.
BM's phone time was yesterday evening from 6-9, she could call anytime and talk to SD's in between those times.
BM called at 6:13pm, talked to 5yo SD for about 2 minutes, 5yo SD went to get 6yo SD and BM hung up. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought, Maybe she lost reception and would call back to talk to 6yo. NOPE. :speechhuh:
BM then texted at 9:30pm, didn't say anything about not talking to 6yo SD. The text was asking "what time is court on Monday" her text was not responded to. We don't have court on Monday. I was furious. I didn't show this around any of the kids but SD would came in 4 different times before 9pm to ask if BM had called back to talk to her.
DH asked me why I was so upset about it. I told him that it was so wrong, 6yo SD has been through enough, why does BM continue to do this to her! DH asked me why I cared so much. I told him that someone had to, I grew up with an abusive, uncaring mother and no child deserves that. DH wanted to know why I was still here (I have 3 other SK's with DH so it gets pretty hectic at times) He said anyone else would have ran. I told him I knew what I was getting into (I didn't know the severity of what BM had done to SK's) But I will not leave them. Any of them. By the time I was done talking with DH he was in tears. He knows I love his kids but I guess he didn't realize that I consider them my kids as well. I'm not going to treat them any differently or show them any less love than I show my own kids. I show 6yo SD way more love and attention because she needs it, not saying I leave 5yo SD out, we always do things all together. 6yo SD has a team of counselors that work with her and I still have to work with her a lot at home.
Sorry about the long vent, I'm so frustrated. I wish we had a perfect Blended Family situation but this is just insane!:daydreaming:
I hope to hear something from the attorney today about BM being in contempt for telling SD's she would be here for her supervised visits the last two times and not showing up. BM even called the morning of to confirm she would be here.

 

[akmom]

Sounds like it needs to be SD6 that gets the phone first, always.

 

[momandmore]

Sounds like it needs to be SD6 that gets the phone first, always.

We tried switching who goes first on each call. Every time SD6 got the phone first, she would start going off on her mom. She has a lot of anger towards her and that's what we are working on with the counselors. SD6 will hide it and then just explode.
She will get the phone first Wednesday or whenever BM calls again. I just feel terrible for her. So sorry for this rant. I had about a day to cool down from it and I was still mad, which is hard for me to be, I was mad for SD. I know, not a justification. I just hope it gets better with BM involved or she just leaves her alone completely. BM doesn't realize or just plain doesn't care how much she is hurting 6yo SD.

 

[momandmore]

Sounds like it needs to be SD6 that gets the phone first, always.

6yo SD (Now 7 eek!) always gets the phone first now. I just have to watch her very closely. She sometimes says some really mean things to BM and I have to redirect her by tapping her on the leg and then she'll apologize for it. If she says anything that BM doesn't want to hear, BM will start yelling at her. I hate it.