First, I apologize for my recent absence from this forum - it's been hectic! Second, I am sorry in advance for the length of this post. Bear with me.
Now, on to the topic. As you may or may not remember, my wife and I are expecting a second child, due April 19, 2013. The pregnancy is progressing well; the only hiccup is gestational diabetes, but it's under control with diet and light exercise.
I am the neat one in the family (ironic since I was a horribly messy child). My wife is the messy one, and unfortunately, she has rubbed off on my stepson more than I have in that way. Please understand this is not about cleanliness - she is not too bad in that area. It's about clutter and messes (papers, leaving blankets out, dumping her coat and purse wherever she decides to, etc.). For example, if we watch TV at night, then go to bed, she tends to just get up and go up to the bedroom, leaving the living room with whatever small messes were made. These add up over time. I, on the other hand, prefer to get up, spend maybe ten minutes straightening up and what not, and THEN go to bed. I like coming down in the morning to a neat home.
One underlying problem, I think, is that our house is cramped and disorganized. In order to fully understand all this, I need to give you a pretty detailed description of our house.
We live in a three-story (including basement) rental townhouse that is a little older in age (built in the 1940s but renovated within the last 10 years). The basement is where the laundry room is, plus storage under the stairs. Otherwise, it's a bedroom and a bathroom down there, and a friend of ours from high school rents it from us. So we lose a whole floor (and we can't afford the place without her, currently). The main floor has a small kitchen, small dining room, and living room. No closets or bathrooms. The second floor has a small square-shaped landing (maybe 5x5 feet) with a linen closet. Then there's a tiny bathroom, our bedroom, and my stepson's bedroom. The bedrooms have closets, although not very big.
We manage to store all of our larger items in closets and underneath the stairs, but we have nowhere to store things we use every day, like Morgan's school papers and folders, etc. I like things neat and put away, and currently, we don't have that option. We have several large bin-type things from Target, but they take up space, so I can't really fit any more of them in here. I am convinced I can make it work by sorting, tossing, and making a "home" for everything, but it's keeping up on it that scares me.
The real question here (for those of you who are like me - neat and orderly) is how should I do this? Since no one else seems to care about organization per se, should I just do things the way I want (labeling bins, etc.) and expect everyone else to follow along? Or do I just let my wife make messes and I clean up after her while hoping to influence my stepson? Let's face it - after being messy for the first 30 years of her life, I'm not convinced my wife can be expected to change too much.
Maybe I should organize it all and demonstrate how nice, calm, and functional an organized home is...? The other problem is that I feel like it's wrong of me to expect Morgan to keep his room clean and follow my lead when mommy keeps messing up the house. While the baby will be in our room for a while, he or she will eventually end up in Morgan's room, which is already tiny and cramped. I imagine he sees the mess and either thinks that's normal or thinks "If she doesn't have to do it, then neither do I." That said, I think I can work on him a little more since he is still young enough to form good habits in this area. I just don't know how to get my wife on board without directly telling her what to do and treating her like a child. "Please put your milk glass in the dishwasher - don't leave it on the table" would be a daily reminder if I had to do that.
I guess I'm all over the place here. Any advice for keeping a neat home while retaining some of my sanity?
Now, on to the topic. As you may or may not remember, my wife and I are expecting a second child, due April 19, 2013. The pregnancy is progressing well; the only hiccup is gestational diabetes, but it's under control with diet and light exercise.
I am the neat one in the family (ironic since I was a horribly messy child). My wife is the messy one, and unfortunately, she has rubbed off on my stepson more than I have in that way. Please understand this is not about cleanliness - she is not too bad in that area. It's about clutter and messes (papers, leaving blankets out, dumping her coat and purse wherever she decides to, etc.). For example, if we watch TV at night, then go to bed, she tends to just get up and go up to the bedroom, leaving the living room with whatever small messes were made. These add up over time. I, on the other hand, prefer to get up, spend maybe ten minutes straightening up and what not, and THEN go to bed. I like coming down in the morning to a neat home.
One underlying problem, I think, is that our house is cramped and disorganized. In order to fully understand all this, I need to give you a pretty detailed description of our house.
We live in a three-story (including basement) rental townhouse that is a little older in age (built in the 1940s but renovated within the last 10 years). The basement is where the laundry room is, plus storage under the stairs. Otherwise, it's a bedroom and a bathroom down there, and a friend of ours from high school rents it from us. So we lose a whole floor (and we can't afford the place without her, currently). The main floor has a small kitchen, small dining room, and living room. No closets or bathrooms. The second floor has a small square-shaped landing (maybe 5x5 feet) with a linen closet. Then there's a tiny bathroom, our bedroom, and my stepson's bedroom. The bedrooms have closets, although not very big.
We manage to store all of our larger items in closets and underneath the stairs, but we have nowhere to store things we use every day, like Morgan's school papers and folders, etc. I like things neat and put away, and currently, we don't have that option. We have several large bin-type things from Target, but they take up space, so I can't really fit any more of them in here. I am convinced I can make it work by sorting, tossing, and making a "home" for everything, but it's keeping up on it that scares me.
The real question here (for those of you who are like me - neat and orderly) is how should I do this? Since no one else seems to care about organization per se, should I just do things the way I want (labeling bins, etc.) and expect everyone else to follow along? Or do I just let my wife make messes and I clean up after her while hoping to influence my stepson? Let's face it - after being messy for the first 30 years of her life, I'm not convinced my wife can be expected to change too much.
Maybe I should organize it all and demonstrate how nice, calm, and functional an organized home is...? The other problem is that I feel like it's wrong of me to expect Morgan to keep his room clean and follow my lead when mommy keeps messing up the house. While the baby will be in our room for a while, he or she will eventually end up in Morgan's room, which is already tiny and cramped. I imagine he sees the mess and either thinks that's normal or thinks "If she doesn't have to do it, then neither do I." That said, I think I can work on him a little more since he is still young enough to form good habits in this area. I just don't know how to get my wife on board without directly telling her what to do and treating her like a child. "Please put your milk glass in the dishwasher - don't leave it on the table" would be a daily reminder if I had to do that.
I guess I'm all over the place here. Any advice for keeping a neat home while retaining some of my sanity?
