Overprotective parents and its harmful effects including PART 2...

[mark321]

Is there any hope here? Or have I been damaged beyond repair?
What can I do to really change things? I REALLY do want to change things and don't want to continue to live my life as a victim. I have a little bit of savings (which again was provided by my father) and as I said I have a problem with finding work interesting and can't seem to figure out what job I would like to do etc.

I thought about moving country and go to Europe or Australia or the US and starting over completely and finding work there and cutting my parents out in a sense that they will then no longer be around geographically at least to constantly help me out, but again without enough money that's not easy to do. So I'm just stuck.

I realise this has been very very long! and thank you to all of you who read this right through. I appreciate that. And I would like to hear from anyone else who have had similar backgrounds and are currently in similar circumstances.

 

[singledad]

I confess that I skimmed over your other post rather quickly, but I think I understand where you are coming from. Basically, you were never allowed to develop your own interests and passions, or to take control of your own life.

My life was very different from yours, but I can relate to feeling like a victim of circumstances, and feeling overwhelmed and unable to change the course of my own life. Regardless of how you got there, its not a good place to be.

So what now?

First, I don't believe that there is such a thing as damaged beyond repair. I believe that, barring serious pathological disorders, even person has the capacity to make a success of his life. It could be very hard, but it is never impossible to recover at least to the point where you are able to live a full life. I've seen enough battered

So how do you do it? The people who told you that you only you can change it are right. I can understand that it feels overwhelming, and that just taking the first step simply seems too hard, especially since you're suffering from depression too.

The first time should be to take care of depression. Depression makes just about everything seem impossible to do. Go see someone. Give some serious consideration to perhaps taking anti-depressants for a while. They won't magically fix your life, but they may help you find the motivation to take the next step.

I have more to say, but unfortunately I don't have the time...

 

[NancyM]

John

I read most of your original post and wow I think your parents were a little more than over protective. I'm not even sure what to call that but if YOU feel bad because of the way you were raised, than only YOU can make the change.

I know you don't know how, so the best thing for you to do is consider seeking thearpy. A professional person could really help you, since you already know you can't do it alone. If you don't have insurance, or can't afford it, maybe you can just find someone you really respect and look up to and take one thing they do and try to do it for yourself.

Like if you admire them because they stand up for themselves, listen to how they saw the situation and how they felt it effected them in a negative way.

Instead of saying to yourself, oh well that happens to me all the time and I never do anything about it....STOP yourself and practice saying or defending yourself the same way he did.

Little things like that might help you learn what you should and shouldn't tolorate.

You need some direction, so either seek help through a professional which is the best idea I think, or try to follow someone Else's approaches to life's situations.

Good luck.

 

[Testing]

Is there any hope here? Or have I been damaged beyond repair?
What can I do to really change things? I REALLY do want to change things and don't want to continue to live my life as a victim. I have a little bit of savings (which again was provided by my father) and as I said I have a problem with finding work interesting and can't seem to figure out what job I would like to do etc.

I thought about moving country and go to Europe or Australia or the US and starting over completely and finding work there and cutting my parents out in a sense that they will then no longer be around geographically at least to constantly help me out, but again without enough money that's not easy to do. So I'm just stuck.

I realise this has been very very long! and thank you to all of you who read this right through. I appreciate that. And I would like to hear from anyone else who have had similar backgrounds and are currently in similar circumstances.

I read the whole post and commented on your Part one.

Again, you can only move on from today, not change yesterday. I wish we could all change what we didn't do correctly yesterday, but that is impossible.

You need to move out on your own first. Find a roommate if you can't afford it alone. The rest will come.