My husband and I try to agree on everything with our sons, but like any parents, we don't agree on absolutely everything.
Such as our 11 year old and freedom. I am petrified of him getting kidnapped. I had a nightmare a couple of times where he disappeared, probably because there was a couple of times he took it upon himself to actually disappear and I had no idea where he was...anyway, and now I am extremely nervous of him being out and about the neighborhood. So we got him a cell phone. I ask him to call me when he gets to his friends' houses, which he never does. I ask him to keep his phone on him which he hardly ever does and doesn't answer it half the time. Then when I call his friends' parents and he gets on the phone and I ask him why he didn't answer he says, "I left it upstairs." or, "I was in the backyard and left it in the house." And last night, for instance, he spent the night at his friend's house and I called him twice, then had to call the parents because he didn't answer, and texted him that his father wanted him home to have lunch. I called him when he didn't answer that text and his friend picks up his phone and I asked where he was and he said that he went home to eat. This makes me mad because part of the whole purpose of him having a phone is to keep it on him during transit so I know he gets from place to place safely.
Now, my husband thinks I'm being kind of unreasonable. He thinks my son has too little freedom. He thinks he should be allowed to roam the neighborhood on his bike and have the opportunities to get in trouble sometimes and I do see his point...but then what if something bad happens to him? Would he still want that? I feel it is better to let out the rope bit by bit as he gets older, and to at least know where he is at all times and be able to reach him at all times. The idea of letting him go all about the neighborhood freely at this age does not sit well with me, but I also don't want to hinder his development. Plus a lot of his friends are allowed to do that. So I'm really not knowing what to do here because everytime he is at a friend's house I am at complete unrest, worried the whole time, and it's driving me crazy.
Advice?
Edit: I forgot to add that my son is small for his age, which doesn't help my over-protectiveness.
Such as our 11 year old and freedom. I am petrified of him getting kidnapped. I had a nightmare a couple of times where he disappeared, probably because there was a couple of times he took it upon himself to actually disappear and I had no idea where he was...anyway, and now I am extremely nervous of him being out and about the neighborhood. So we got him a cell phone. I ask him to call me when he gets to his friends' houses, which he never does. I ask him to keep his phone on him which he hardly ever does and doesn't answer it half the time. Then when I call his friends' parents and he gets on the phone and I ask him why he didn't answer he says, "I left it upstairs." or, "I was in the backyard and left it in the house." And last night, for instance, he spent the night at his friend's house and I called him twice, then had to call the parents because he didn't answer, and texted him that his father wanted him home to have lunch. I called him when he didn't answer that text and his friend picks up his phone and I asked where he was and he said that he went home to eat. This makes me mad because part of the whole purpose of him having a phone is to keep it on him during transit so I know he gets from place to place safely.
Now, my husband thinks I'm being kind of unreasonable. He thinks my son has too little freedom. He thinks he should be allowed to roam the neighborhood on his bike and have the opportunities to get in trouble sometimes and I do see his point...but then what if something bad happens to him? Would he still want that? I feel it is better to let out the rope bit by bit as he gets older, and to at least know where he is at all times and be able to reach him at all times. The idea of letting him go all about the neighborhood freely at this age does not sit well with me, but I also don't want to hinder his development. Plus a lot of his friends are allowed to do that. So I'm really not knowing what to do here because everytime he is at a friend's house I am at complete unrest, worried the whole time, and it's driving me crazy.
Advice?
Edit: I forgot to add that my son is small for his age, which doesn't help my over-protectiveness.
Last edited: