Parenting a deaf child...

[bchamberlin]

My wife and I just found out that our 3 month old baby boy is deaf. We had our suspicions and knew he didn't pass his hearing test on one side while in the NICU (he was there for a month when first born) but today he had a very accurate and detailed test and both ears failed. Of course the next step is for him to have a CT scan of his ears to find out about all the mechanics that he has or doesn't have but it's very clear that he cannot hear anything at all. We're devastated but we're dealing with it. Just looking for where to start in how you parent and raise a deaf child. I did some reading and know there are options as far as implants but we're not there yet. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated.

--Brian

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

I dont really have any advice, besides that im sorry. My husband was born deaf, but luckily with a surgery on his ear canals when he was about 4 made it so he could hear again. I hope everything works out for you!!!

 

[bchamberlin]

I dont really have any advice, besides that im sorry. My husband was born deaf, but luckily with a surgery on his ear canals when he was about 4 made it so he could hear again. I hope everything works out for you!!!

Thanks for the kind words. I suppose you've given me a little hope since surgery was an option for him. We just found out today so it's too early to see what's ahead for us.

 

[Xero]

I wish I knew what to tell you. I have no experience or knowelege in that area at all. I'm sorry that you have to go through it though, and I absolutely wish the best for you and your boy. There's SO much that they can do for this these days that he has a huge chance of someday living a very normal life I think!

A member here, ElliottCarasDad, has a son who is deaf. He could probably offer some valuable insight. I know he has had some hearing aids and that he just posted something about him getting one of those implants.

Good luck! And I'm sure you'll learn as you go.

 

[bchamberlin]

I'd love to be able to talk to him... maybe if he sees this post he'll contact me. =)

 

[Father_0f_7]

He's always around here somewhere and always willing to help. I'm sure He'll be able to give you some great advice.

As for me, I know a little sign language but that's about all I know that's even remotely related to deafness so I probably wont be able to do anything but let you know that my prayers are with your son and the rest of your family right now.

 

[Jeremy+3]

My oldest son is deaf, he has 8% hearing in one ear and 10% in the other, he is deaf due to my wife having measles whilst pregnant.

He has hearing aids that amplify sound, but he doesn't bother wearing them, he hasn't even had a new pair since he was 16 because he doesn't bother with them.

He signs and lip reads, but more often than not he lip reads unless he is around someone else who is deaf, in which case he only signs.

 

[bchamberlin]

Hi Jeremy, thanks for sharing. How did you handle things when he learned he was deaf? I assume you learned this while he was very young. What was it like with a deaf baby? I find we still talk to him and whisper when he's sleeping...it's very strange. I get sad thinking about all of the things he's going to miss... music etc. His mother and I cried last night thinking how we'll never hear his voice, never hear him tell us he loves us or us him. It's very sad right now. I know we'll get through this and we'll give him the best life we can. We'll teach him the best we can and give him the tools to be as productive as he wants to be. It's just hard right now having only found this out the other day.

 

[Jeremy+3]

Oh, is your son dumb?

As we knew my wife had had measles we knew there was likely to be some effect on our son, so it wasn't exactly a surprise when he was deaf. Deaf children aren't really any different to other children, with any child when they are infants you need a language that isn't reliant on sign so you can understand what they need.

If you don't talk to him he wont be able to learn to lip read if that is something you want to teach him, it is also important in learning about expression as well.

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

I'd love to be able to talk to him... maybe if he sees this post he'll contact me. =)

I'll get back to you later today with a PM with links to good info.
I know the roller coaster of emotions you are going through, but it gets better. My son is now 4 and just had a cochlear implant this week. Early detection is always better as far as communication goes. As a minimum start learning to sign. "Signing Time" videos are excellent, most all libraries have them. Are you in contact with Early Intervention in your area? They will usually get the ball rolling as far as educational needs go.

 

[SuePietersen]

<r>Hi. It is fantastic that you have been able to pick up that your son has a hearing problem so early. We were sure our son could not hear when he was 9 months old. He was only diagnosed profoundly deaf when he was 14 months old. He was not given a hearing test at birth.<br/>
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Our son received the cochlear implant when he was 3 and a half years old. He was the 10th child to receive the implant in Cape Town in 1992. <br/>
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We started a speech program (no signing), where he learnt all of his lip reading skills, from when he was 18 months old until he had the implant at 3 and a half.<br/>
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He is now 22 years old and can hold a normal conversation on a phone.<br/>
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If I could give you some advice, I would recommend that you always give eye contact when talking to your son. Never use the word it - always name everything. Talk in short sentences and encourage his lip reading skills, in case he ever has a problem with the implant.<br/>
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Our son once went 2 weeks without his equipment and relied on his lip reading skills.<br/>
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Your son will most probably develop normal speech as his hearing loss was detected so early which is fantastic. <br/>
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It is the little thing that we did every day that has enabled our son to achieve so much. <br/>
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We have all of his diaries and videos to look back on, which has enabled us to see what we did to help him and we’re currently publishing the entries 21 years on after they happened (starts Feb 26th 2011). <br/>
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<br/>
I’m really excited, and want to share our journey with as many people as possible. His diary is on my blog<br/>
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Please feel free to contact me. I would love to know how things are going on for you.<br/>
[FONT=&quot]<br/>
Wishing you all the best.<br/>
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Sue [/FONT][FONT=&quot]<E></E><br/>
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[/FONT]</r>

 

[bchamberlin]

Sue, where can I find your blog and the video entries? I'd love to see them. I can be reached at jbrianchamberlin@yahoo.com

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

jbrianchamberlin@yahoo.com</EMAIL>[/quote]
me too!

 

[fate fenix]

pray to God...all will become ok...

 

[everlong]

My son was two years old when he contracted meningitis and lost his hearing. It was a difficult time for us, but we also knew that we were lucky to have him come home, with the 'only' lose being his hearing.
To have a child, that you love, to be something other than 'normal', challenges the best of parents. I think you need to grieve in the way that you need to, so you can get to the point in your life where life is less difficult.
My son remained deaf for a year and a half, and then received a Cochlear Implant. As I live in Canada, there was no cost for the surgery, nor the processor.
If you choose not to, or your child is not a good candidate, the deaf community where I live is supportive and offers education for all family members. We attended ASL classes, with schools providing support for deaf students, via interpreters.
The reality of your son's deafness is much too recent to make life changing decisions. Find support for yourself, and your son.
We feel blessed that our son is wonderful with or without his hearing, and know there are many parents in this world that wish their children 'were only deaf.'

 

[irishcollinsgir]

Hi, I know you must have felt devastated upon learning your son was deaf. My son has been on a rollarcoaster of hearing at 5 decibels an ear to not hearing at all. He was deaf the first 4 years of his life. He is 7 and his ears seem to be fighting against him at times. He is scheduled for an inner ear exploration, a mass removal and left tempanoplasy on the 22nd. I do have a point, it just takes me for ever to get there. Early detection is best. There are many resources out their for the hearing impaired. Here (Wyoming) we used the child development center. They sent someone to our home to teach our son communication skills. At the moment, even being completely deaf in one ear, he is doing quite well. Please know that deafness does not mean your child will not be successful. He is still quite young. I am sure as he grows and develops your options will as well. On a side note, after my son's last tempanoplasy failed ( he has had 6 surgeries) I said no more. I would let him decide when he was older what steps he wanted to take. However, when his mass was discovered the doc said it had to be removed right away. While he is in there he will try to repair the ear drum. I know my son's situation is different, but you never know what the future holds. Good luck to you. I know my post probably doesn't help, but I felt the need to comment.