Parenting conflict: WARNING Religious content...

[NinJaBob]

We sit in the front at church. We are Roman Catholic. When it comes communion time this lady always goes up and accepts the host then takes a bite of it and feeds the rest to her 2 year old. This is a no no when you're Catholic until you receive first communion (age 12 or 13). My son noticed this and is asking questions. I need to tread careful because this womens older son is on my son's Cross Country team. Not sure what to say to explain the situation to him yet allow her to save face.

Not sure if this is the right place for this. I just think that it's wrong for her to do this and she knows that. For goodness sake give the boy some Cheerios.

 

[Dadu2004]

I would tell her that generally your religion says that you can't do that until you make your first communion. Explain that his mother decided to do something different but you won't be following that path.

 

[fallon]

could you maybe discuss it with her? I mean if it's common knowledge that this isn't accepted then she should understand why you wouldn't want your son to see her breaking the "rules".

 

[1dayatatime]

We cannot control what others do. I would acknowledge what was seen and state your families view on the subject. It is also one of Gods laws to not pass judgment. I mean just because your family does it the correct way doesn't mean the whole church does. Thats kinda how I would approach it within my family. You could try talking to her simply because the example she is being for the rest of the church is not the greatest.

 

[fallon]

yeah, I would only reccommend talking to her if it can be handled like adults ya know. I wouldn't start a fight with her or anything

 

[NinJaBob]

Based on what I have observed at Cross Country practice and at the meets I believe that any conversation with her would escalate into a childish verbal brawl which I don't want to happen especially in front of the kids. I just know that this women and her kids will be in our lives for a long time as our kids play sports and go to school together and I will be have to be careful not to let her lack of judgment seep in to my kids. I hate to judge her but I can't help but wonder what else she is lax with.

-Phil

 

[fallon]

in that case I would just explain to your children that she has chosen to do things differently in her family but in your family you'll be sticking to rules in place for your beliefs

 

[NinJaBob]

in that case I would just explain to your children that she has chosen to do things differently in her family but in your family you'll be sticking to rules in place for your beliefs

Sounds good. That's sort of what I told Ben when he asked. It just still bothers me and I wasn't sure if I handled it right. We get a little bit of reprieve from her as Sunday school starts next week. Her children don't attend Sunday School.

 

[Xero]

Yeah, I agree with the idea of explaining it to your kids. You don't necessarily have to try to make them understand. Just tell them she's doing it wrong, and we know she is. But it isn't our business to start a fight about it. Some people do the wrong thing. Even kids know that, it's okay to tell them someone is just <I>not right.</I> Anyway it doesn't need to matter to your kids how other families do things. They aren't part of that family. Any kid would say 'Well that family does such and such', and wouldn't you reply with "Well, we aren't that family"?

 

[bssage]

How about

I dont know why they did that. This is how I was taught. There may or may not be a reason even a valid one I.E child has ADHD and cant be left alone in the pew. I dont know. But if it is a non issue with the Preist why let it be yours. In the Catholic church (if not attending a Catholic school) There are classes he will attend prior to reciveing his first communion. This should make things clear without any akward moments for anyone.

If I rember correctly it wont count against him, it just wont for him either (the communion I mean).

Bryan

 

[Music-dad]

in that case I would just explain to your children that she has chosen to do things differently in her family but in your family you'll be sticking to rules in place for your beliefs

Bingo...excellent answer.

I don't know alot about this, but have been to my late wife's families Catholic church on occasion, and have seen the routine, and from what I gather you eat the bread in front of the Priest, and if he has witnessed her doing it and not said anything, then why should you? I certainly wouldn't go there, why bother if you know it won't end well.

Good answer with respect to your kids...some people make different choices, and our family makes choices also which we believe to be correct...sometimes they may differ.

 

[NinJaBob]

Bingo...excellent answer.
from what I gather you eat the bread in front of the Priest, and if he has witnessed her doing it and not said anything, then why should you? I certainly wouldn't go there, why bother if you know it won't end well.

Good answer with respect to your kids...some people make different choices, and our family makes choices also which we believe to be correct...sometimes they may differ.

We have a lot of people in the church so while the Priest does distribute a portion of the host the majority is actually distributed by Eucharistic Ministers whom are lay people tasked with helping out the Priest. They like me are in no position to scold her for a Communion faux pas.

I have explained this to my son and he's cool with it. He's too young to get this education either in his regular or Sunday school but I suspect it won't be long before they start educating them on this matter. So for now it's up to me and my wife.

Wife doesn't seem to care too much but it really irritates me. Like I said earlier it probably irritates me so much because I already don't like this woman. I know that's not very christian of me.

 

[meow_173]

Well, if she is doing this in front of the clergy, and <I>they</I> have not said anything, and <I>no one else</I> has mentioned it, just explain to your son that normally you have to be a certain age to recieve communion, and you are unaware to the reasons behind her giving it to her toddler.
I don't even know if it is your place to go to her and tell her this. If anything go to the preist, express your concern, and let him decide if he should bring it up

 

[Aunt]

My mum had a simple expression for times like this. They dont we do. This takes away judgement of the way others conduct themselves &amp; puts the emphasis on what your family does. Thus whenever she would hear xyz does not go to bed @ such a baby hour, I would hear they dont we do. i think this applies here. No mess no fuss

 

[NinJaBob]

My mum had a simple expression for times like this. They dont we do. This takes away judgement of the way others conduct themselves &amp; puts the emphasis on what your family does. Thus whenever she would hear xyz does not go to bed @ such a baby hour, I would hear they dont we do. i think this applies here. No mess no fuss

You're right. Luckily it's not such a problem now that the kids are in Sunday School. It just kinda irks me.