Potty time regression?...

[dadoftwo]

My oldest is 3. She has been potty trained at a very early age. Long story short we are having some potty time regression possibly or maybe an attention getter. I recently was just granted sole custody of both of my girls. One biological one not. The oldest has been through a LOT of stress from the other party. My girls have been here 3 weeks now and never has this happened before in at least a year. The oldest will go to the wash room and come out saying she had an accident. Though sometimes her clothes were wet sometimes they weren't. The has happened a total of about 8 times now since they moved here. The other day when this happened she had an accident on the opposite side of the wash room from the toilet. I didn't quite know what to think at that point. So I told her that she needed to go potty like she had been and be a big girl and there would be no more juice or movies before bed. I despise television especially the Disney channel so that is our treat we watch one movie before bed. The next day it happened again. So today no juice or movie before bed. And today she did not ha e an accident. Actually not sure if it will continue. I read a bit on here the other night when I first signed up that it was normal and at the age now where she is too busy to go potty. Like someone suggested I reminded her to go potty ever hour. I'm not sure if this helped or not only time will tell.

Just wondering if i should have handled this differently or if the situation comes up again. Any questions or comments please feel free I deffinately need advice on lots of subjets as I am a first time single parent of two.

 

[MomoJA]

Personally, I would not punish her in any way for having an accident, even if it is to get attention.

My daughter was completely trained at the age of 2 years 2 months (thanks to her daycare.) One year later, the father she had not seen since she was 8 months finally arrived in our country, and for financial reasons and because I wanted them to get to know each other, I took her out of her daycare and left her with him all day. Until that time, she had only had a couple of accidents and I could pinpoint it to her having had a bubble bath. But after he arrived, she had about 4 or 5 accidents.

I share this because I think the reason for her accidents and probably the reasons for your daughter's accidents are the same. She is scared because her life has changed dramatically/traumatically. I don't know if it is because this is one aspect of their lives they have control over at that age, or what, but I do see it more as a cry for help than anything else.

With a first child, it is very difficult to realize how young they actually are, especially if they are advanced. I made that mistake every day from the time my child was very young, and continue to do so. Learn from my mistake. Allow them to do "bad" things, and calmly redirect them with a smile on your face and a kiss on their foreheads. In this case, when your daughter has an accident, tell her it is okay and let her help you clean up the mess. This is one thing (one of the few) I think I did right with my daughter, and the accidents stopped not too long after they started.

Good luck to you. I know it is probably a sort of a form of prejudice on my part, but I can't help but greatly admire fathers caring for their children alone.

 

[momtoallkids]

my daughter is 7 and she still has accidents from time to time. most of the time its because she was so busy playing that she held it for way too long and just couldnt make it. (in her case it is medically nessisary for her to use the bathroom rather than holding it) try reminding her regularly to go potty and if you get the usual "i dont have to go" response... make her at least try. itll save you alot of headache and laundry detergant.

 

[dadoftwo]

Wanted to say thank you to the both of you. I really am quite new to being a single parent but not a parent in it self. Its been awhile now with no more accidents. And I'm still learning to take things in short strides. Sometimes the oldest gets treated like an adult and I'm starting to realize just how young she is yet. So thank you for reminding me.

 

[momtoallkids]

its hard not to talk to them like they are adults. especially if your kids are unusually intellegent. you can talk to them like they are adults but you have to remember that they are not and that you have to remember there are just some things you dont discuss with them. like financial worries things like that. it makes them worry about things they should have no buisness worrying about. my oldest is a worry wart and an easedropper. he hardly ate for over a week because he over heard a conversation about running short on supplies and he didnt want anyone in the house to go hungry so he gave up eating full portions. you have to be careful what you say to them and within ear shot of them. they hear everything.

 

[LucidKitty]

I think you hit the nail on the head when you mentioned stress. This is a stressful time for her and this is her way of dealing with it. Chances are as things settle into more normal for her this will stop.