Pregnancy sex...

[stjohnjulie]

*****disclaimer*****
Adult content. I'm not trying to be 'perverted' in any way. Let's try to be adults about it I asked Xero about this before posting and got a green light. But! Let's behave so we don't get it shut down.

Ok, I'm pretty huge now, and sex has become harder in a lot of ways. With my first son, well, lets just say that sex and pregnancy was not an issue....so this time around I'm having to deal with things I didn't have to deal with in my first pregnancy.

First trimester, well, I wasn't so interested in sex. I was a little nervous, but I mostly just didn't feel like it. I felt kind of fat, my boobs hurt really bad, I was tired, and I was not feeling sexy at all.

Second trimester, wooooo hooo!!! I had more energy, the baby bump wasn't so big it got in the way, and my hormones were kickin'. The only problem I had sometimes is when the baby would kick. It kind of interfered with the 'moment' if you know what I mean. Did/do any of you feel like that?

Third trimester, started off ok, but now it's hard. Haven't really figured out what position is good. Spoon is the only one that kind of works and that is not the way my hubby and I fit together best. Suggestions??? One big draw back is that I get up really early, that that is when my hormones are peaking. I have to wait until at least 5:15am before I wake my husband up, and I can't really expect him to be too acrobatic at that time of the morning if you know what I mean.

I'd really like to hear how the guys out there feel about pregnancy sex. My husband is never the one who initiates now. But I think it has to do with the fact that he is ASLEEP in the early am. He stays up late, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't wake me at night because I am so tired and he wants me to rest. Also might have something to do with the first trimester. I made it pretty clear that I knew he liked my new big boobs, but if he touched them, it wouldn't turn out good for him. They hurt so bad!!! But maybe something else is going on in his head he doesn't want to tell me about????

My husband kind of laughed at me the other day. I said "we're running out of time!!!" He said, "is that what is going on???" I guess I've kind of kicked it into high gear knowing that we will have to refrain for awhile after I give birth. It's kind of a sensitive issue for me because I was in a sexless relationship for 6 years. I NEVER want that to happen again!

 

[Jeremy+3]

Topping (you that is), anything from behind, if you want to do a missionary style have you laying at the bottom of the bed/sofa so he is standing up/kneeling so he doesn't have to lean over you.

 

[sbattisti]

Don't let his lack of instigation dampen your ardor. Pregnancy is VERY VERY alien for men, and for a lot of men there is fear and uncertainty there when it comes to sex. Your wife is huge, and suffering through all sorts of uncomfortable feelings and stuff, so that to ask for sex seems like the ultimate in selfishness (to some guys). So, it's possible that he's thinking about it just as much as always, but just doesn't want to impose and wants you to let him know when the mood strikes!

Of course, I'm sure there are men out there who feel uncomfortable with the idea in general...but it doesn't sound like that's your husband.

 

[Tiredlol]

Go sex during pregnancy! my husband couldnt get his hands off of me...it was great!

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

I found out when i was pregnant that spooning was the best, but I was allll belly i stuck out so far! haha. It was pretty alien to my hubby to, for a minute i thought u were talking about him haha! I agree with jeremy's suggestions too. Good luck! Enjoy it while u can

 

[superman]

i dont think ur husband feeeels tghis way but (im not tryin to be rude honestly) pregnancy really really grosses me out x100. im immature though.....but why dont u just straight up talk to him? dont try an get in his head lol

 

[singledad]

I dunno - when my wife got really big it just felt a bit weird, I guess. Almost like we're having sex with the baby in the room :yikes:

Don't get me wrong - the desire was there. I found my wife super-sexy when she was pregnant, but then I would feel her belly, and think to myself well, that's our baby in there - and the mood would be gone.

Of course I know that I was just being silly - its not like the baby knew what we were up to, or would remember it, but still - it just felt a bit creepy.

 

[stjohnjulie]

i dont think ur husband feeeels tghis way but (im not tryin to be rude honestly) pregnancy really really grosses me out x100. im immature though.....but why dont u just straight up talk to him? dont try an get in his head lol

Ok, this one made me laugh a little I have talked to him about, and he is pretty much the worst liar I have ever met, but I kind of get a little feeling that no matter what he is saying, he might be taking the "don't piss off the pregnant woman" approach. Maybe that is all in my head though.

I too kind of felt like 'the baby is in the room'. It interfered with things for awhile, then I just got over it. As long as my husband doesn't talk, the baby usually is not active. Once he opens his mouth though, it's all over. The little guy really reacts to the sound of his deep bassy voice. On the up side, the baby is lulled by movement and is very calm if I am moving around.

I think I will have to switch up the times I'm looking for lovin'. The baby has started to get used to waking up around 5:15. And when he is awake and kicking around, it is hard for me to put him out of my mind. He is so squished up in my ribs now that I cannot ignore it. That will also give us a better chance of something other than spooning. There is no way in hell I'm going to get my husband on his feet for much of anything in the very early AM. Spooning doesn't work so well for me, on a satisfaction level, but he sure seems to be ok with it!!!

Another thing.... what about sex AFTER the birth? I know I am going to be very self conscious about my body, even after the 6 week 'waiting' period. After my first child, the first time I had sex, it really hurt. How about with you ladies?

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

I had to wait an extra 6 weeks after birth because of my emergency hysterectomy (long story, there is an old dusty thread about it somewhere) but for me i was very self conscious but it was not painful.

 

[Antoinette]

it wasn't painful for me but i was very self conscious i was nervous i would not be the same 'down there' and i was just quite nervous but it wasn't painful at all.

as for during pregnancy it was hard to get david into the mood. just because i think the whole thing made him uncomfortable (and i was VERY young) but when we did i was on top. then i was in control and it didn't freak him out if the baby kicked... me being on the bottom would NEVER have worked i got too big too quick. and i agree with you. spooning never 'worked' for me either

 

[mom2many]

The only time sex during pregnancy become a problem for me is when the baby is big and sitting in my lungs, then we just play around until we find a position that isn't cutting off my oxygen.

Beyond that the husband is always ready and willing (see the 8 kids listed besides my name ).

I have no problems once the 6 weeks are up, but the key for that is a lot of foreplay, sometimes the fear of the first time is a lot worse then the reality and foreplay will make sure that you are nice and relaxed.

 

[stjohnjulie]

I think the first time after the baby had something to do with an over zealous stitching job. I tore, and I think they may have thrown an extra few stitches in there for good measure.

Sex is harder now that the baby dropped. I guess that is why I wanted to post something to get some more ideas. I have NEVER been shy about sex, but my husband is more reserved (there is some history that has nothing to do with me). Me on top, face to face, doesn't work any more, that has been confirmed I guess I will turn around and see how that goes. I just can't support myself face to face with my arms because my belly is squished. ***sigh*** so little time! So much to do!!!

 

[Jeremy+3]

Don't lean forwards, lead back with your hands on his legs

 

[Dadu2004]

I remember when my ex-wife was pregnant with my daughter...sex was absolutely amazing. I think it was all the hormones. The first couple trimesters were fine for any position, but the last we pretty much had to stick with spooning. She couldn't even do her on top b/c the movement bothered her belly.

 

[Computerdad]

i love how jeremy's answers are almost fortune cookie size and yet so powerful with imagry.

There are times when i look at my (soon to be) wife and see a mother and not a lover. and there are times when she looks at me a certain way and im ready to storm omaha beach. if you can give him total control and comfort to tell you what hes thinking he may be more willing to tell you the absolute honest truth he can provide. while its never been hurtful my wife and i have always talked about what bothers us, almost immediately and if theres any postponement its due to the lack of privacy. so maybe working on your communication as a couple might help, but for now im in the second trimester with my wife and ah.. life is good

 

[stjohnjulie]

if you can give him total control and comfort to tell you what hes thinking he may be more willing to tell you the absolute honest truth he can provide. while its never been hurtful my wife and i have always talked about what bothers us, almost immediately and if theres any postponement its due to the lack of privacy. so maybe working on your communication as a couple might help, but for now im in the second trimester with my wife and ah.. life is good

I hear ya Computerdad....but without giving out too much info, there is a 'block' there that I will never be able to over come. With what he has been through, I can't even believe that he is a functioning member of society, let alone one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I have to let him have his 'scar' and be ok with the fact that I am never going to be able to heal it. Overall, I would say that we have really good communication. He is a talker!!! But there are a couple of things that he just can't talk about.

Jeremy....ah yes, you do have a way with words! Do you mean face to face? If so, well, let's put it this way, even when I'm pregnant, I can't handle 'all of that' (good thing my husband doesn't read this stuff...he would be mortified and pleased at the same time over that comment) I guess the thing that is causing a lot of trouble is that I still need to have the control, so it doesn't hurt, but am having a hard time with the extra weight. I'm 140lbs now, normally about 115, and all of that weight is on my front side. Balance sucks, energy level is low, basically no stamina. I guess I should quit my bitchin' and be glad I can still have sex!

 

[howquaint]

My husband and I both like it best when I'm on top. But I have to really be in the mood to enjoy it at this point (34 weeks). I try to do other things for him, because he has to go sometimes 3 weeks without gettin' any real action... I think the biggest mood killer is when the baby kicks, second biggest- the gas! LOL

 

[howquaint]

I'm 140lbs now, normally about 115, and all of that weight is on my front side. Balance sucks, energy level is low, basically no stamina. I guess I should quit my bitchin' and be glad I can still have sex!

I think of it as a really efficient work out lol