public restrooms - dads and daughters...

[cybele]

Following a car accident over a decade ago I was in a wheelchair for a few months.
People with kids in the disabled toilets were the single most frustrating thing I encountered and I had no issues with bladder control. Your child having different genitals to you is not a disability. Therefore, it's not yours to use.

Prior to experiencing it myself, I probably would have said it was okay to do. But experience changes perspectives.

The number of times I sat outside a disabled toilet for up to ten minutes, only for a parent and toddler to come out and ram into my chair with their pram, then I had to move back so they could pass me, because heaven forbid they move for me, then they roll their eyes as if a lady in a wgeelchair wanting to use the disabled toilet is such an inconvenience, a few times I was stopped so their kid could ask me questions because I was a novelty, oh then I would get into the toilet and there would be urine all over the seat because children always miss and halfway through another kid would be banging on the door, lets just say, it was more often than not. Only once did I have to wait for someone who actually needed it.

 

[pwsowner]

I have to agree. Disabled is for the disabled. Every place with washrooms has a mens room, so I just kept it simple.

Whenever I bring any kids into a bathroom, if they don't get it all in the toilet, I clean up before we leave. Some people do, but I bet the majority don't. I had to clean up a couple times.

Mentioning the clean up reminded me of a real mess one day. Me and another friend, and her kids, were at a church camp last summer. Her 6 year old boy had to go to the bathroom and it was a bit of a walk from where we were. I took him and after walking a bit, he was having trouble holding it, so I put him on my back. He was nice enough to warn me. We were almost there and he said he can't hold it any more, so I put him down and hoped we could walk the last 10' but nope, and he had diarrhea.

We went in and I cleaned him up, then washed his clothes and his shoes, cleaned the bathroom mess, and we went back. He had a lot of fun telling his mother. I think he enjoyed the unique experience.

 

[IADad]

I can't imagin that women's room is an option. How would I justify taking my DD (if I had one) into a ladies room...? "Excuse me ladies, I won't look or make you uncomfortable while I bring my daughter in..."that's not going to fly.

Not many separate disabled toilets here, usually diasable stalls within mens or women's rooms, then "Family" toilets separate. that'd be my first choice, but if a dad had to, you just use some tact, shuttle them into a stall, shuttle back out...

the thing about urinals, is anybody using a urinal, is, well facing the urinal, not the sinks or stalls/doors etc..

 

[akmom]

Yeah, that confused me about the "disabled toilets" too. We call them handicap stalls, because it's just a larger stall within the men's or women's restroom. I've never seen a separate room for them, so to use it, you still have to pick a gender.

Cybele, I ran into a similar problem with the "family restroom." Most places don't have them at all, but some Walmarts have this awesome little family restroom with tiny toilets and low sinks, so small a toddler can use them without a travel seat or anything. But some adults without children like to hang out in there forever, since it is more private than the other stalls, I guess. So it's kind of frustrating to see that too. However, it's possible to hold a little kid over a regular toilet, so not a huge deal. Fitting a wheelchair into a regular stall just isn't happening.

 

[cybele]

Ours disabled toilets are unisex and separate, there is usually one per place.

Those little toilets have become popular here lately too, good idea, but wow do people hang out forever in them.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Ours disabled toilets are unisex and separate, there is usually one per place.

Those little toilets have become popular here lately too, good idea, but wow do people hang out forever in them.

Little secret... Some naughty people hide in there to drink or use drugs

 

[pwsowner]

Around here I haven't seen a separate washroom for disabled. It's just a bigger stall in the places that do have that. There are a few places with family washrooms, but not everywhere, and when a kid has to go, they pretty much have to go at the place they are at.

I think urinals are private enough. If I take kids in there, I tell them beforehand not to look that way.

I asked my parents what they think. My father said he doesn't like when men bring their daughters in the bathroom. He said he's had it happen and he just doesn't think it's right. I asked him what I should do if I had my friends little girl with me and she had to go. I never got an answer, other than, take her somewhere that has a family room or a private one. Around here, most gas stations have private bathrooms, so if she could hold it for a bit, that can be an option, but if she can't, oh well, other men in the washroom will have to understand.

 

[JakeW]

With me, (I don't have a daughter) but if I did, I'd ask one of the women's employees or a lady (preferably a neighbor) I can trust to take her in. Otherwise wait until you get home or simply find a restroom where it can only be used by one person at a time. The mall has a large room of family restrooms, and in those rooms, small rooms with individual restrooms.

 

[Xero]

Yeah, that confused me about the "disabled toilets" too. We call them handicap stalls, because it's just a larger stall within the men's or women's restroom. I've never seen a separate room for them, so to use it, you still have to pick a gender.

Yeah, it's the same way here, we just have "handicap stalls" inside of each men's and women's room. Very rarely you will see those nifty family restrooms around here. I think I have seen one at the mall (it was recently re-modeled, so has all kinds of cool stuff), and one at one of the Walmarts around here. I've only ever been inside one of them one time to change a diaper.

 

[akmom]

I never got an answer, other than, take her somewhere that has a family room or a private one.

That's a typical answer from someone who didn't have kids or wasn't really involved in the care-taking. They don't think about the logistics; they just want everyone to accommodate their whims. Only shop at places with family restrooms? Really? Like there's never a need to go anywhere that doesn't have them? Like a two-year-old's bladder can wait while you check out, buckle them back into their car seats, drive somewhere else, and eventually find a suitable restroom? Hm... Maybe you can just stay at home any time you have children with you, and arrange for someone else to watch them if you have to get groceries, get your car repaired, get a flu shot, get an instrument tuned, wash your car, dry clean a suit, or any other thing that people just do. Because heaven forbid some stranger get annoyed when a young child has to go potty in the men's room. How about grown adults just wait until they get home to pee? Then they would never run the risk of getting annoyed!

With me, (I don't have a daughter) but if I did, I'd ask one of the women's employees or a lady (preferably a neighbor) I can trust to take her in.

Again, interesting train of thought, but asking an employee to take your child potty is highly inappropriate. And what are the chances you run into a neighbor at the store? I live in a pretty small community, but most of the time I don't run into that many friends...

I think I have seen one at the mall (it was recently re-modeled, so has all kinds of cool stuff), and one at one of the Walmarts around here

Oh, and kids just LOVE the idea of a tiny toilet just for them, that flushes for real! It's so funny.

 

[cybele]

Oh, and kids just LOVE the idea of a tiny toilet just for them, that flushes for real! It's so funny.

It's amazing how much pressing a flusher entertains a child.

Ours usually are very large rooms with a little toilet, an adults toilet that you an fit a pram into the cubicle (such a good idea), a few change tables, a kitchenette to make up formula and private breastfeeding cubicles if you want a bit of peace. At least, that's the basic ones. Then depending on the shopping centre itself some have other little perks. There is a very large shopping centre near-ish to my house that has a little table and chairs with drawing stuff in the middle to distract older kids, a big cushy couch and a TV that pretty much shows the Ellen show over and over (because apparently that is all that parents watch).

 

[akmom]

That sounds pretty luxurious, wow. The only family room I've ever seen was at Walmart, and it's just a big toilet, a little toilet, a sink and changing table. I feel so gypped! And what is a pram? I googled it, but can't imagine why you'd want to bring a small boat into the restroom stall with you...

Usually mothers are offered a dressing room stall if they need to breastfeed. Personally I was content with a bench and a blanket. I never thought about mixing formula in public. I just assumed you mixed it at home and brought it along, or if you were on a long trip, maybe use the premixed formula in the individual serving bottles. I never thought about it, because I never formula-fed mine once they left the hospital.

 

[cybele]

A pram is what you guys call a stroller... sometimes.

We call the big ones prams and the little fold up ones strollers.

 

[pwsowner]

Thanks for everyone's input. Pretty much tells me that to most people, I've been doing things the best way.

What brought the subject up is, I'm starting a daycare business in 2 months and I realised that there will be times when I take the children out for some fun, and they will have to go to the washroom one of those times. I may decide to have a part-time female assistant, especially for outtings. That would make this topic not even be an issue.

 

[cybele]

If you are talking about other people's children it's a whole other kettle of fish though.

 

[Xero]

So if I gathered correctly, you are a single male that wants to run an in-home daycare? (not saying it's wrong, just curious, although I wont lie it is a little unorthodox)

 

[pwsowner]

I was typing a reply here, but then realised we're getting into a different topic, so I decided to start a thread on that, but yes, I'm a single male starting a home daycare.

Let's discuss that topicover there and keep this one to the original topic.

http://www.parentingforums.org/showthread.php?t=14674

 

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