I dont really want to get into the spanking thing again. This is kinda core to that issue and may eventually be moved to "debate". With that in mind. Lets see if we cannot keep this to the topic of the post. Less about spanking and more about the decision making behind the act.
I hear intrinsic and extrinsic motivation thrown about a bit.
I am not really sure where my line of thought falls into that. My personal research on those motivations is in its infancy. I believe somewhere within them is a component of "risk analysis" or some thought as to whether or not the acts benefits outweigh the risks. You should be able to see the link to discipline now.
This may account for some of the discrepancy between how I feel about discipline. This is going to sound bad. But I probably spend more time on this. Than time spent determine the value of intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation. Right or wrong I would say I am more concerned with the decision to act or not act being a thoughtful decision.
One of my goals as a parent is to help the kids learn how to do value added risk analysis. I want Cole when I am not around to think to himself is the benefit of a given activity/non activity worth the risk. Really I think it applies to just about anything. From what to eat and when to go to bed, To should I steal a car, or smoke a joint.
I hope to teach how to weigh the pro's and con's. And make thoughtful decisions. Yes even thoughtful mistakes. I would prefer that when a mistake was made he would say "I knew there was a chance of that." rather than "I didn't see that coming"
I think while we may not be able to articulate it. We all like to think we play a part in the thought processes our children use when making decisions. Personally I am very deliberate with this. Frequently I will take Cole aside and explain why I choose a particular course of action. I line up the risks across from the benefits. And I show him how I made my decisions. I point out what risks stopped me or how a particular benefit was greater than a specific risk.
Just had to get this out of my head so I can sleep tonight.
I hear intrinsic and extrinsic motivation thrown about a bit.
I am not really sure where my line of thought falls into that. My personal research on those motivations is in its infancy. I believe somewhere within them is a component of "risk analysis" or some thought as to whether or not the acts benefits outweigh the risks. You should be able to see the link to discipline now.
This may account for some of the discrepancy between how I feel about discipline. This is going to sound bad. But I probably spend more time on this. Than time spent determine the value of intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation. Right or wrong I would say I am more concerned with the decision to act or not act being a thoughtful decision.
One of my goals as a parent is to help the kids learn how to do value added risk analysis. I want Cole when I am not around to think to himself is the benefit of a given activity/non activity worth the risk. Really I think it applies to just about anything. From what to eat and when to go to bed, To should I steal a car, or smoke a joint.
I hope to teach how to weigh the pro's and con's. And make thoughtful decisions. Yes even thoughtful mistakes. I would prefer that when a mistake was made he would say "I knew there was a chance of that." rather than "I didn't see that coming"
I think while we may not be able to articulate it. We all like to think we play a part in the thought processes our children use when making decisions. Personally I am very deliberate with this. Frequently I will take Cole aside and explain why I choose a particular course of action. I line up the risks across from the benefits. And I show him how I made my decisions. I point out what risks stopped me or how a particular benefit was greater than a specific risk.
Just had to get this out of my head so I can sleep tonight.
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