Road side memorials?...

[NancyM]

I was just driving home from shopping and couldn't help but notice so many road side memorials. I couldn't believe how elaborate some of them are.

This one which stands out in my head, on a public corner, actually had a small fence squaring it off, which loaded with flowers, cards and candles. Very sad, It's been there for years It was really quite distracting.

Another regular memorial around here is one that touches my heart each time I see it. The family must have lost a teen age boy because they have his HS football jersey hanging off the tree which he apparently hit and was killed by. Of course there are always tons of love messages, flowers, ornaments and cards and it's mostly on the road because there is no side walk in this spot. Again extremely distracting especially if your trying to read the name and see all the objects left there.

I must have counted 7 just on my short trip.

I can't even begin to understand the grief felt by the families,how sad for them to have to pass the place their loved one was killed, and not wanting to forget the exact spot must be simply torture for them.

I was talking to friends at work about these memorials, and some people don't approve at all and think the families have some nerve, lol and some don't care one way or the other. As for me, they don't bother me at all,other than sadden me. I do understand how they can be a cause of concern though since they are a distraction and think it's better not to put up road side memorials at all.

I've never heard anyone complain about them, never read anything in the paper or heard any negative news about them at all. It's almost like no one wants to be the first one to say anything, or report them and the authorities aren't getting involved as long as no body complains.

What do think about them, and if you don't approve of them how do you think we should force the people who put them up to take them down. Or what should we do about it.

 

[momtoallkids]

in my area you see alot on street corners and stuff for victims of shootings ect. the athorities usually take them down if they are crime related deaths which personally i find that disrespectful. it was still a life no matter what circumstances it was taken under. however the crash site memorials can be a very good reminder of how lucky you are. there is a simple white cross on a tree a few towns over. my friends cousin was driving and had an exhaust leak under the drivers seat. the exhaust built up in the car and he passed out and hit that tree. everytime i see it it reminds me to keep my windows cracked just in case. in the same town on the side street there is a little memorial (which most has been removed) of where 2 kids hit a tree and one lost his life. now i know the back story behind that crash and everytime i go by it i stop and leave a rose. even if it doesnt stay there for long. for people that have lost someone and had a roadside memorial it shows that they are remembered. its not as torturous to freinds and family as you would think. it lets people know that this life wasnt forgotten and that they are still part of the town.
now granted some do go overboard. as part of the hispanic culture, they go all out with these memorials. that i dont feel is nessisary. on that note though, in my moms city there is one for a little boy who was hit by a drunk driver. its been there a few years now. the city even put up a piece of chain link in the spot so people could attach things to it. they mayor say it as a reminder to a. not drink and drive and b. that there are kids all over the place and that drivers need to be aware of that. i didnt know the boy but i have stopped and attached a small teddy bear to the fence from time to time.

 

[Jeremy+3]

We have them here, families place them so that gypsies say a prayer for the person as they travel by.

 

[bssage]

I dont care one way or another to much.

I do think there are more appropriate places and ways to memorialize people than putting something on the side of the road. Whether its with good deeds in their name or something nice for their school/church.

If everyone marked the location someone died they would be all over. Makes more sense when the land mark needs shared because several people passed at a location.

 

[NancyM]

We have them here, families place them so that gypsies say a prayer for the person as they travel by.

That's interesting Jeremy.

 

[NancyM]

I dont care one way or another to much.

If everyone marked the location someone died they would be all over. Makes more sense when the land mark needs shared because several people passed at a location.

Very true bssage.

 

[NancyM]

in my area you see alot on street corners and stuff for victims of shootings ect. the athorities usually take them down if they are crime related deaths which personally i find that disrespectful. it was still a life no matter what circumstances it was taken under. however the crash site memorials can be a very good reminder of how lucky you are. there is a simple white cross on a tree a few towns over. my friends cousin was driving and had an exhaust leak under the drivers seat. the exhaust built up in the car and he passed out and hit that tree. everytime i see it it reminds me to keep my windows cracked just in case. in the same town on the side street there is a little memorial (which most has been removed) of where 2 kids hit a tree and one lost his life. now i know the back story behind that crash and everytime i go by it i stop and leave a rose. even if it doesnt stay there for long. for people that have lost someone and had a roadside memorial it shows that they are remembered. its not as torturous to freinds and family as you would think. it lets people know that this life wasnt forgotten and that they are still part of the town.
now granted some do go overboard. as part of the hispanic culture, they go all out with these memorials. that i dont feel is nessisary. on that note though, in my moms city there is one for a little boy who was hit by a drunk driver. its been there a few years now. the city even put up a piece of chain link in the spot so people could attach things to it. they mayor say it as a reminder to a. not drink and drive and b. that there are kids all over the place and that drivers need to be aware of that. i didnt know the boy but i have stopped and attached a small teddy bear to the fence from time to time.

I suppose in gang infested neighborhoods it may cause more violence for the gangs to be constantly reminded of a particular killing. I do feel however, if the police take any memorials down, they should take them all down. It shouldn't be based on who's life is more valued or more important in someone's opinion, or who died in a 'legal' way vs illegal way.

 

[momtoallkids]

. It shouldn't be based on who's life is more valued or more important in someone's opinion, or who died in a 'legal' way vs illegal way.

exactly. they all represent a life taken too soon. it shouldnt matter what the cause was.

 

[MomoJA]

We have them where I live. I've seen them for as long as I can remember, but they are usually somewhat temporary, meaning they eventually are worn away by age, 10 or 15 years or so.

I can understand why the authorities would remove them from places where people were murdered, especially through gang violence. It becomes a self-perpetuating circumstance. That is not to say that the life lost shouldn't be memorialized, but as gang violence is turf related, and the memorials sort of stake out the turf . . . I don't know.

The "roadside" memorial that I remember most was at the top of Wencenslas Square in Prague. After the August Winter in '68, I believe it was, some of the young protesters made a pact that they would emoliate themselves, one every week or month, I don't remember exactly, until the Soviets left and the "Prague Spring" returned. Only two did it. One was 19 at the time and the other was 20, I think. When I lived there 15 years ago or so, a memorial appeared. At first it was just a photocopy of a typed sheet with little head shots of the two boys, their names, and a short exlanation of how they had died. The paper was in a plastic sleeve like you'd put in a binder. It was taped to a lightpost or something. People would leave candles or flowers.

When I went back a few years later, there was an actual memorial. I'll always remember that plastic sleeve flapping in the breeze and wet with drizzle. I don't remember the boys' names, but I can still see their faces.

 

[stjohnjulie]

When I lived in Michigan, there was a stretch of road I had to drive twice a day that was known as cemetery alley. There were always a lot of accidents on the road and many of them fatal. People tended to drive recklessly, too fast, and most of the accidents happened in the evening when the sun blinded westbound drivers. I always thought that people placed the crosses on the side of the road as a plea to drivers to slow down. I wouldn't say that it worked, but that is how I always thought of it. In the short time I lived there, there was a fatal accident involving a driver who struck a person who was tending to one of the crosses. After that happened, I noticed many of the crosses were removed, but I don't know by who.

Where I live now, there is only one memorial like this. It is for a little boy who was run over by a delivery truck. He was darting back and forth in front of the truck trying to decided if he was going to cross the street. This one always reminds me that even if our kids seem old enough to cross the street responsibly... they are still kids and don't have the ability to make good decisions all the time. That memorial scares the crap out of me every time I see it. I was very near when this accident happened and had to drive past it right after the little boy was taken away.

 

[mom2many]

Like Julie we have a stretch of road that is notorious for accidents. Lately they have been from drunk drivers and usually head on but some are just people miss the stop signs coming from the opposite direction. It's a highway so those coming from east to west need to stop before crossing. Our town has lost a few kids on it, including a 10 year old he, for whatever reason didn't stop on his 4 wheeler and flew right into a truck. My bestfriends sister almost lost her life in one spot that is particularly bad 2 years ago (drunk driver). It killed his friend who was sober and almost killed her. Her own husband drove past the accident and didn't even recognize that it was her car it was that damaged.

I don't mind the memorials, I think they can be good reminders of what is at stake when people make careless choices.

 

[NancyM]

When I lived in Michigan, there was a stretch of road I had to drive twice a day that was known as cemetery alley. There were always a lot of accidents on the road and many of them fatal. People tended to drive recklessly, too fast, and most of the accidents happened in the evening when the sun blinded westbound drivers. I always thought that people placed the crosses on the side of the road as a plea to drivers to slow down. I wouldn't say that it worked, but that is how I always thought of it. In the short time I lived there, there was a fatal accident involving a driver who struck a person who was tending to one of the crosses. After that happened, I noticed many of the crosses were removed, but I don't know by who.

Where I live now, there is only one memorial like this. It is for a little boy who was run over by a delivery truck. He was darting back and forth in front of the truck trying to decided if he was going to cross the street. This one always reminds me that even if our kids seem old enough to cross the street responsibly... they are still kids and don't have the ability to make good decisions all the time. That memorial scares the crap out of me every time I see it. I was very near when this accident happened and had to drive past it right after the little boy was taken away.

It's true Julie you never can tell what a kid is going to do. When ever I see a kid trying to cross I always stop and let him cross, because you just don't' know what the heck he may do.

 

[NancyM]

Like Julie we have a stretch of road that is notorious for accidents. Lately they have been from drunk drivers and usually head on but some are just people miss the stop signs coming from the opposite direction. It's a highway so those coming from east to west need to stop before crossing. Our town has lost a few kids on it, including a 10 year old he, for whatever reason didn't stop on his 4 wheeler and flew right into a truck. My bestfriends sister almost lost her life in one spot that is particularly bad 2 years ago (drunk driver). It killed his friend who was sober and almost killed her. Her own husband drove past the accident and didn't even recognize that it was her car it was that damaged.

I don't mind the memorials, I think they can be good reminders of what is at stake when people make careless choices.

Sounds like a very dangerous road. Too bad so many kids died on it. It's bad enough when an adult is killed this way but when it's a child its just so sad.

 

[NancyM]

We have them where I live. I've seen them for as long as I can remember, but they are usually somewhat temporary, meaning they eventually are worn away by age, 10 or 15 years or so.

I can understand why the authorities would remove them from places where people were murdered, especially through gang violence. It becomes a self-perpetuating circumstance. That is not to say that the life lost shouldn't be memorialized, but as gang violence is turf related, and the memorials sort of stake out the turf . . . I don't know.

The "roadside" memorial that I remember most was at the top of Wencenslas Square in Prague. After the August Winter in '68, I believe it was, some of the young protesters made a pact that they would emoliate themselves, one every week or month, I don't remember exactly, until the Soviets left and the "Prague Spring" returned. Only two did it. One was 19 at the time and the other was 20, I think. When I lived there 15 years ago or so, a memorial appeared. At first it was just a photocopy of a typed sheet with little head shots of the two boys, their names, and a short exlanation of how they had died. The paper was in a plastic sleeve like you'd put in a binder. It was taped to a lightpost or something. People would leave candles or flowers.

When I went back a few years later, there was an actual memorial. I'll always remember that plastic sleeve flapping in the breeze and wet with drizzle. I don't remember the boys' names, but I can still see their faces.

OM gosh I haven't heard 'Prague Spring' for like forever. lol I was young than but still vaguely remember hearing someone talking about it during a party, Friends of my mother I think. Did you go to school in Czechoslovakia, or live there?

Anyway it's sad no matter where it happens.

 

[BabyAngel]

We have loads of those up here in La Belle Province ! Mostly in the country side, nowhere close to the cities. Usually placed where people died of car accidents (mostly children).

 

[superman]

I see them, but i never focus on them or distract myself by reading them. I acknowledge them and keep driving..
I do think there should be limitations on how big it is, bright, etc because it can be. There should be some sort of size perimiter and light count, or something I suppose.
I can see how it is distracting but that is where someone's last moments in life were.

 

[IADad]

I have mixed emmotions, they can be distracting, which I think is a public danger and I'm not sure how healthy the practice is mentally. I wouldn't want to be memorialized that way, but that's just me. I can understand people wanting to keep them up.

A couple of local cases - There was one in an interstate median, where a 17yo was killed after he scaled a fence and tried to run across traffic at night. To me that seems to perpetuate the stupidity of the child, but hey, it's his family not mine.

The second one was on a small divider island, where a 17 yo girl was riding a moped last summer, she turned to wave at a friend in a car behind her, failed to degotiate a turn, hit qa cub and slammed head first into a tree. An ad hoc memorial sprouted up there, mostly by her High School friends. It was removed quietly a couple of weeks later on the morning of her mother's funeral. Yes, that's right, her mother died a little over a week after the girl died. She had terminal cancer and was holding on. Her first goal was to see her daughter graduate from HS, and when it became apparent she wasn't going to last that long, she tried to make it to the end of volleyball season (the daughter was a star athlete) so when the daughter died, she didn't have anything to live for. Very sad.

 

[Mom2all]

I supposed I am biased here. My Mother was shot and murdered on the side of the road by her boyfriend of 22 years. My aunt put up a cross and plants flowers there every spring.

Now, my mother has a spot for her ashes on her own land that was passed to me. Planted with flowers and beautiful things so I can feel at peace there. Where she died is not where she I believe her soul lingers.

But I do go to the side of the road from time to time. I drink a cup of coffee or I talk to her there when I want to be alone. It was the last sky my Mama saw. The last place she took a breath. The last place her soul was in the body that I knew. It was the last place I saw her although covered by a sheet. I felt like she knew I was there behind the police lines waiting for her to be able to leave.

It also stands as a reminder for me to fight for those women to scared to fight for themselves. I like that everyone in her neighborhood that knew her knows what can happen when people look the other way.

 

[NancyM]

I supposed I am biased here. My Mother was shot and murdered on the side of the road by her boyfriend of 22 years. My aunt put up a cross and plants flowers there every spring.

Now, my mother has a spot for her ashes on her own land that was passed to me. Planted with flowers and beautiful things so I can feel at peace there. Where she died is not where she I believe her soul lingers.

But I do go to the side of the road from time to time. I drink a cup of coffee or I talk to her there when I want to be alone. It was the last sky my Mama saw. The last place she took a breath. The last place her soul was in the body that I knew. It was the last place I saw her although covered by a sheet. I felt like she knew I was there behind the police lines waiting for her to be able to leave.

It also stands as a reminder for me to fight for those women to scared to fight for themselves. I like that everyone in her neighborhood that knew her knows what can happen when people look the other way.

I'm very sorry to hear that your mother died that way..I must have been horrible. It's very sad to say the least. I can understand needing to go there or having a little memorial set up for her.

 

[NancyM]

I have mixed emmotions, they can be distracting, which I think is a public danger and I'm not sure how healthy the practice is mentally. I wouldn't want to be memorialized that way, but that's just me. I can understand people wanting to keep them up.

A couple of local cases - There was one in an interstate median, where a 17yo was killed after he scaled a fence and tried to run across traffic at night. To me that seems to perpetuate the stupidity of the child, but hey, it's his family not mine.

The second one was on a small divider island, where a 17 yo girl was riding a moped last summer, she turned to wave at a friend in a car behind her, failed to degotiate a turn, hit qa cub and slammed head first into a tree. An ad hoc memorial sprouted up there, mostly by her High School friends. It was removed quietly a couple of weeks later on the morning of her mother's funeral. Yes, that's right, her mother died a little over a week after the girl died. She had terminal cancer and was holding on. Her first goal was to see her daughter graduate from HS, and when it became apparent she wasn't going to last that long, she tried to make it to the end of volleyball season (the daughter was a star athlete) so when the daughter died, she didn't have anything to live for. Very sad.

Poor family like they hadn't been through enough, having to loose the mom too. sad