she did what?!?...

[fallon]

Ok so I'm an idiot and I thought my ex's parents could handle taking my daughter camping for a long weekend...turns out I was wrong. They let my 6yr old daughter go to a store on her own and she returned with candy and a ball (they didn't give her any $) She claimed a boy gave it to her but didn't know a name and apparently changed her story once or twice. I have no idea what to do about this I could kill her right now and them for even thinking it was a smart idea to let a child go into a store alone with no money. She had no business there!! Help I have to figure out what to do about this and how to make sure it never happens again. She'll be home Tues. I'm thinking about taking everything fun out of her room before she comes home but part of me wants to talk to her first. What if somebody really did give her these things? That's actually a pretty scary thought

 

[Father_0f_7]

Talk to her first...I know it's scary but it's completely possible someone gave them to her.

Personally I would be more mad at the grandparents than I would be my daughter. Even though your daughter know's not to go to the store alone, she did have permission from her grandparents.

Now once you have the story from your daughter, and she tells you (hopefully) the truth about where she got them from, go from there.

 

[fallon]

oh I could kill these people right now :-(

 

[Father_0f_7]

I know people....lol

 

[fallon]

Lol

 

[Trina]

Talk to her first...I know it's scary but it's completely possible someone gave them to her.

Personally I would be more mad at the grandparents than I would be my daughter. Even though your daughter know's not to go to the store alone, she did have permission from her grandparents.

Now once you have the story from your daughter, and she tells you (hopefully) the truth about where she got them from, go from there.

I totally agree with Father of 6. My beef would be with the grandparents. Yes, talk to your DD, but she is only 6 and as Father of 6 pointed out, she had permission from adults.

 

[fallon]

I'm not mad at her for going to the store. They're ridiculous for letting her go on her own (they said they can see the store from their site) and sending her into a store without any money but all of that is no excuse for stealing (if in fact she stole). That's my biggest problem with her and there has to be consequences for that even though they were wrong for letting her go in the first place. Even at 6 she knows better than to take things without paying for them. I really can't imagine this child stealing....I really need to see her face and talk to her about this. I didn't even mention it when I was on the phone with her last night

 

[Xero]

Wow I'd be pretty mad!! My main concern would be if she actually stole it, but at the same time I'd be pretty peeved because the grandparents kind of set her up for failure. She really shouldn't have had the opportunity to get into this kind of trouble.

Either way though, I would definitely wait and get the truth out of her and go from there. I don't know how far away they are, but if she stole it I would take her right back to that store and make her give the things back to the clerk and tell him what she did and apologize to him. Then (if it were me) she'd probably have some kind of home punishment. Grounding, losing something, whatever. And a good long talk about why you can't take things that don't belong to you (or without paying for them).

If somebody gave them to her... I think there's a "never take candy from strangers" talk that needs to be had probably. They even make kids movies that talk about that really closely. I would make her watch them.

Either way, that stinks!! Friggin people. :/

 

[Cthru]

Oh man, I'd be super pissed too. I think if it were me it'd be a little while before my daughter would go with them alone anywhere.

 

[fallon]

oh, we're done with them. They've done things in the past that bothered me but never put her in harms way (things like choice of TV shows, and appropriate talk) but this has set me over the edge. They made a choice that put her at risk for a whole host of bad things happening. She will not be seeing them again for quite some time, if ever.

 

[Xero]

I don't blame you there Fallon. I would feel the same way.

 

[BenDavis503]

Yeah that would make me upset too. A 6 year old has NO business being alone in a store or walking to one. As the others have said, beef lies with the grandparents. I cannot believe they let the child go!!!

IMO, there is a good chance a boy did not give it to her, but that doesn't really matter. I would just ask your child if they know what stealing is and if they know it is wrong or not.

Then I would ask the grandparents what the heck they were thinking and I would never let them watch my kid again!

Just my opinion!

 

[fallon]

Ha! Sorry guys, I forgot to update.

well I got the truth out her. She was hanging out with an older girl. They went to the store so the girl could get silly string. When they got there the girl put the silly string in her pants and told Debralyn to do the same thing with the ball. She told her if she told anyone they would both go to "juvie" (using words like that I know this is the truth) So her and I talked and she's spending the rest of the summer inside for telling a lie. I also took away all of her toys (except her favorite doll and her books). She'll earn them back over the next 2 wks. I told her she needed to how it felt to have something taken from her. I explained to her how it should have been handled and that it was unfortunate that the adults involved made bad choices that set her up for failure but she still needed to have consequences for her actions. She understands and is taking it pretty well. She was clearly scared to tell me what had happened. I'm very sure she will never do anything like this again

 

[BenDavis503]

^^^ I have heard some parents would take their kid to the store and make them return the item to the manager. What do you think of that? I am not sure if I agree with that and I would handle it on my own, because I wouldn't want to give my child the impression that the manager is of any position of power to my kid, and I can discipline them myself.

Thanks for the update by the way. I was curious! I am starting to get into this site a lot!

 

[Father_0f_7]

I would actually take it back. Not because I would want my child to feel that the store manager has any authority on what my child does, but because it is still stealing and when items get stolen from a store the manager has to pay out of pocket most of the time.

 

[Xero]

Plus its the most accurate level of humility to prevent her from ever doing it again. lol

That's good to hear the update Fallon, and I'm glad you go the truth out of her. Hopefully she'll learn a very strong lesson from this experience.

 

[fallon]

That's how I would have handled it had I been there actually, mainly because it would scare her a lot more to tell the manager what she did and that fear is what keeps them from doing it again