Should parents monitor kids' computer activity?...

[kuba]

Hi,

I wanted to ask parents with experience here what do you think about monitoring children's computer and internet activity like Facebook usage, visited websites or what they chat about.

There are many dangers lurking around on the internet these days and children more often fall victims to cyberbullying.
Do you think monitoring what kids do on the computer would help you in the long run?

I'm developing such monitoring software on my own and I wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Regards,
Kuba

 

[bssage]

If you have not: you should search the forum. There have been a number of threads started on this topic. Your responses may be limited just because people may not want to repeat themselves.

Bryan

 

[akmom]

I came from the generation whose parents knew nothing about technology, and learned it all from their kids. So there was definitely no monitoring. Only a few times did I encounter unsavory Internet material, and I just exited out of that window. I guess by that age, my parents had instilled the relevant values in me of what is appropriate and what is not, and it was not hard to apply them in the technology world.

Back then, kids were first experiencing the Internet in junior high. I think younger kids use it now, so it makes sense to monitor it just like you'd monitor them at a playground or social event. But for most kids, I don't think it's necessary at the junior high or high school range. Just my thoughts. I have a philosophy of raising children to be independent, but we'll see how that changes when mine are older!

 

[Mom2all]

I monitor mine. I don't read their e-mails but I do track their usage and sites and block what I deem inappropriate. If I have a questions about one, I go to them. They all know before they log on that I am watching.

 

[Shaun Austin]

Going of our own experiences I would'nt monitor my childrens computer/internet usage. I personaly trust my children, and know that most of the time they will come to me if they are being abused. I am also quite good at spotting when something is up with any of my children, and if we think something is wrong we just ask them about it and talk. With my kids I base the relationship on trust and talking. Not just discipline and the use of power.

 

[alter ego]

the computer is in our study, and the younger ones are loosely supervised.
Our older 2 share a laptop, and have wireless internet s use it in their room most of the time.
I think that parents should monitor the internet to a certain extent, but also my kids are pretty sensible, and always have someone nearby if theres any questionable activities/material

 

[roser1832]

I don't suggest you to monitor your child. Generally, child is rebellious. If he know you have monitored him, he will very angry. If you still want to monitor them, you need not to develop these software by yourself. You can find many child monitoring software in internet. Such as:

 

[yunihara]

We just don't allow a lot of PC usage in our house. We all share the same desktop, but the kids can get online via other sources. Thankfully, my children have never been all that interested in facebook and that sort of thing, so I don't have much to worry about in those regards. The kids know beforehand that we monitor the sites they go to when they are online, so they aren't angry about it at all. Its just a stipulation of their PC priveleges. We don't stand over there shoulders, but we do check the sites and limit their time.

 

[jammyone]

Of course you should monitor your kids, but if (when) you discover that they were looking at something unsavoury, you should educate them instead of telling them off. Kids are curious, and they will look at things that you disapprove of, it's how you deal with that curiosity which will help them understand everything.

No one is born knowing everything, and human nature is to be curious.

 

[Shaun Austin]

I agree with the above poster: as I said before my relationship with my kids is based on trust and respect. I feel that if I blew up with my kids every time they did something wrong they would loose some of the respect. By building a good relationship with them we have got to know them really well and can see when something is wrong, we usually pick up on it and if we don't they usually tell us about it. This way if they are doing something we can work it out and ask them about it and then talk with them about it. I have learnt from my own childhood and parenthood that kids hate confrontation with their parents.

 

[PandoraSpocks]

We have had the internet since 1998 and my oldest was 9 and my youngest was 2. I've always let my kids get online when they were old enough to know how, and never really checked up on them. I've also always been very up front and honest with my kids about things and never hid dangers or anything from them, but never overplayed them either. I basically talked to them like little adults and expected them to understand, and when they didn't I explained things to them.

We have never had any problems about being online with the kids. The only problems we have had is my youngest daughter (16) opens up way too many tabs on the browser at one time, thus slowing down everybody else's wifi.

 

[emmagrace]

Growing up, and still today, my internet usage is not monitored. I personally don't really think it is required, unless something is obviously going on, then maybe a little bit wouldn't hurt, just to find out. But as others have said, trust is good. Trust your kids to use the internet safely!

 

[MrsTaylorP]

Both of my step-daughters aren't old enough to use the internet, however my husband and I have discussed this issue. We already monitor what they watch by having child blocks on anything over PG. We will NOT monitor their internet activity in front of them, however we will check to see what they have done when they are off the computer. My husband is really into technology so he know how to check activity even if they delete the activity on the browser bar. IF we find anything suspicious we will talk to them, if not, then all is good. But I feel you HAVE to monitor some way. It's way to dangerous not too.

 

[akmom]

I think kids should be monitored until they are very competent in computer use. My six-year-old managed to download a virus while working on a school-sponsored math website. Apparently she clicked on a pop-up screen that she was unable to differentiate from the tabs she was using. Luckily it was just a run-of-the-mill trojan we were able to remove. But when I was a teen, we had some malware that caused our computer to randomly display pornography while viewing ordinary websites. I suspect my brother had some questionable downloads that were responsible for this, but you just never know. It was horrible. I'm not sure that child blocks can prevent this kind of malicious encounter; even good antivirus software misses some things.

 

[bssage]

Before you go jumping on bro. I have had issues with Chloe searching "Dora The Explora" and all kinds of kids titles. Apparently there is a large group of people who like to turn kid titles into porn or gore. Really ticks me off.

 

[akmom]

I believe it. I've encountered plenty of malware from benign browsing. I don't want my kids to encounter something dreadful!

 

[singledad]

My daughter isn't old enough to use the internet yet, but when she does, you can bet your ass I will monitor it. Risks range from stumbling across porn, to creeps using social networking to groom children, only to later meet them in person, or to coerce them into sending pics (clothed or naked) etc. Then there is cyber-bullying as well. The list goes on an on. Yes, I will definitely monitor her internet usage.

 

[cybele]

Before you go jumping on bro. I have had issues with Chloe searching "Dora The Explora" and all kinds of kids titles. Apparently there is a large group of people who like to turn kid titles into porn or gore. Really ticks me off.

There is Sesame Street porn.

Cookie monster and big bird, funniest thing I have ever seen.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

I think parents should be monitoring to at least have an idea what their kids are up to. Very many adults don't know what 'facebook' is, not to say what is going on there. Not to be complete dummies.