single father and the new guy......

[dammit7]

Is it okay for a four year old to be introduced to the new guy? She has introduced him to two since the split (its been two and a half years). I on the other hand have dated and am currently seeing someone, but my child has never seen me with another women let alone kiss and wake up with one in my bed. I guess my question is, is it confuseing for him to see that at her house?

 

[fallon]

it might be...I guess that would depend on how serious she is about him

 

[1dayatatime]

I dont like the idea of my stepdaughter meeting any boyfriends. There has been one a year the last 4 years <I>that I know of. </I>I worry. There are so many stories in the media about the boyfriend killing or abusing the kid. I know we're supposed to have faith that the other parent has some sense but......

 

[AnKsMommy]

I would worry, if it were me. I think it would be confusing to the child seeing someone new on a regular basis with the parent.

 

[Teresa]

Personally, I don't agree with introducing children to boyfriends/girlfriends unless the relationship is a serious one and the person is going to be a consistent figure in their life. I think anything else is too confusing, especially for a very young child.

 

[meow_173]

Is it okay for a four year old to be introduced to the new guy? She has introduced him to two since the split (its been two and a half years). I on the other hand have dated and am currently seeing someone, but my child has never seen me with another women let alone kiss and wake up with one in my bed. I guess my question is, is it confuseing for him to see that at her house?

If i was in that situation i would be worried too. 4 year old's are VERY impressionable and can pick up on things INSTANTLY. I think you are doing the right thing by not having her see you with another women (because that women isn't her mom). I think maybe you should have a talk with your ex and just tell her that if she's having casual boyfriends that it isn't right for her to be introducing <I>your</I> daughter to every tom chuck and barry that comes by ( because you have enough respect for your daughter not to do the same). If it is a serious relationship, still your daughter doesn't need to be introduced to him on the 3rd date.

 

[Kaytee]

I agree, if she has been with this new guy for a few months and they are serious, then sure introduce them. But definately not waking up in the bed thing. Thats just not right. I mean I lived with my husband before we got married, but we did not have a child at that.time. If Something happened and I started dating at this point, Nichole would not meet the new person until I was thinking this could be the long term thing, and I would not be having htem spend the night with such a young child at home

 

[Trina]

Personally, I don't agree with introducing children to boyfriends/girlfriends unless the relationship is a serious one and the person is going to be a consistent figure in their life. I think anything else is too confusing, especially for a very young child.

I totally agree with Teresa. Unfortunately, I don't think you have much say in this situation. You could voice your concerns to your ex, but it will probably fall on deaf ears.