Skipping a grade?...

[Claire64]

My daughter is 6 years old and she's in the first grade. I had a meeting with her teacher before Easter Break and she said that we should consider having Kathleen skip second grade. She's so far ahead of the other kids in her class that she's starting to get lazy and doesn't want to do any work.

Before Christmas, her teacher noticed that she was bored, so she started giving her "enrichment" work to do and last month she started working on a 2nd grade math workbook. She doesn't want to do it any more, because she's noticing that the other kids are doing things that she did a few months ago.


Basically, what I'm asking is have any of your kids skipped a grade? Would you consider it under our daughter's circumstances?

We also could move her to a private school, where the work would be a little bit more challenging, but she wouldn't be able to work at her own level.

Thanks for any advice!

 

[budnkota]

My advice would be do it now, while she's still little. That way, she can assimilate more easily into the next group. If you think back to elementary, remember how kids usually played within their own age group? You don't want her to feel ostricized, and I think that is more likely to happen if you wait and do it later.

It's too bad they didn't see her abilities in kindergarten and just bumped her up to first grade then... would have meant almost no transition.

We had a girl in our class who was moved up before she transfered to our school, and you never knew. She fit in fine. I only know now because it was mentioned in high school.

I've had classmates who also stayed in our elementary class, but attended a higher grade for a certain subjects too, so maybe that's an option if you don't want her to leave her group all together.

I'm for it, if appropriate for your daughter and her situation. The last thing you want is a child who gets bored with school and stops paying attention simply because they aren't challenged enough. She may always be ahead of the class she's in, and the teacher may not always be able to dedicate the attention she needs to nurturing her abilities when they have a whole class to cater too...

Just my relatively uninformed opinion! good luck!

 

[Trina]

When making this decision, a child's academic knowledge should not be the only factor. Maturity and social development should also be considered. How would skipping a grade now effect the child academically, socially, emotionally and maturity wise in the future? Think of peer pressure, dating, etc..

I think it's good that you're also considering alternative options. Private schools are worth looking into. Does your district have a gifted program? Another option would be "after schooling", which would involve extra educational opportunities outside of school hours, either by parents or hired tutors.

A tough decision. Follow your parental instincts. The possibility of skipping a grade was mentioned for my DS when he was in Gr. 1. DH and I considered it for a short time, but decided it wasn't a good idea for him. Although academically bright, he tends to be a late bloomer on the social front. Currently in Gr. 6, we're happy with our decision.

 

[jtee]

When making this decision, a child's academic knowledge should not be the only factor. Maturity and social development should also be considered. How would skipping a grade now effect the child academically, socially, emotionally and maturity wise in the future? Think of peer pressure, dating, etc..

This a very good point. We very briefly talked about skipping our daughter from the 4th to the 6th grade, and it was quickly decided she was not ready for middle school on a social level. She could have handled the academic aspects, but we felt she wasn't ready for the reasons Tina pointed out. Our daughter is extremely social and she would have been entering the 6th grade at 10.5 and socializing with kids typically 11-14.

 

[Claire64]

When making this decision, a child's academic knowledge should not be the only factor. Maturity and social development should also be considered. How would skipping a grade now effect the child academically, socially, emotionally and maturity wise in the future? Think of peer pressure, dating, etc.. .

We have started to think about whether she is mature enough to move up to a class where the kids are a year older, and I don't really know. She seems to be a little bit more mature than the kids her age, but not quite as mature as the girls in second grade. I have volunteered at her school and it seems like she gets along with kids in both first and second grade, so I think she would be fine for elementary school. But, I'm now starting to consider how different it would be for her in high school, when the other kids, especially boys, are a year older.

 

[musicmom]

They don't skip grades here, they put them in gifted. I also think it depends on the curriculum of the school. Alot of northerners come here are find that they are actually behind. Some of our schools just have harder curriculums. So maybe find a school in your area where the curriculum is harder such as private schools possibly.
I have to agree that socially she may not be ready. I personally would not push my child a grade because I think there are lessons to be learned with their peers.
Good luck which ever you choice.

 

[Kaytee]

I agree with Trina, the childs maturity level needs to be taken into consideration. If she is 6 at heart, it may do more harm then good to skip her. In that case doing something outside of school might be better. Sylvan and others are not just for kids that are behind but to enrich kids that are ahead. If the child blends well with kids a year or two older, then do it now

 

[Aunt]

I actually have some experience in this. I skipped a grade which made me younger than the kids in my class. This was fine as a small child but I was also a nightmare teenager. Some of it was just because it was fun to raise hell but mostly I had a lot to prove. To my parents great concern at the time I actually took a year off to work before going to college and I really needed that year to just calm down and mature. This did not make me a model college student in terms of abtencence but it did help me to become aware that being and adult was not about smoking my bodyweight in grass.

Perhaps look at some stimulating co curricular activities or look at a school which has more to offer a gifted child. Whatever you do be mindful of the adolescent years and think about how you are going to manage a child who will feel the need to fit in with kids a year older

 

[Claire64]

I've spoken with my husband about this and we had a meeting at the school today and we've decided that right now it's not the right move for her. I was worried about her starting high school at 13 and being around 18 year olds and possibly moving away to university at 17.

You guys all had great suggestions, but doing more academics outside of school time doesn't seem like the best option. She's in some activities outside of school and our other children are in a lot of activities, so it would be hard to make time. Also, she doesn't enjoy homework, so more of it probably wouldn't help her.

I think right now our best option in to check out private schools. I think there are 3 or 4 private schools in our city and I'll look into a couple outside of the city too.

Thanks!

 

[musicmom]

That's awesome Claire, keep us posted on her progress.

 

[PennQuaker09]

Where I'm from, kids are not allowed to skip grades. I was highly advanced and I was still never allowed to skip. They did have a gifted program and that was still boring.

I would say that if your child is developed enough on the other fronts, go ahead and have her skip to third grade.

 

[Shari Nielsen]

I agree w/ the other posts re: considering maturity, etc. My daughter was super advanced and bored in k and 1st grade and even now in 2nd. We tossed the idea around and decided against it. Our concerns were maturity, self-esteem, social issues when she is a pre-teen/teenager, going to college a year younger than most....even something as simple as playing sports and having the same physical development as a freshman while competing as a sophomore.


What we did decide to do (along w/ her teachers) was to give her more advanced stuff to do in school. For instance, she is doing literature circles w/ the third graders (while she is in 2nd), she will get different math assignments, and have different homework than the rest of the kids. She doesn't realize that this major difference exists, she just thinks all kids get slightly different stuff to do and that's how it is.

 

[Claire64]

Thanks everyone!

For now, we've decided not to skip her to the third grade. While, I feel she is ready now, I'm not comfortable with her being younger than everyone else in middle and high school.

I've made a few calls about private schools and I have a couple meetings lined up to talk about Kathleen possibly transferring and what accommodations they can make for her.

 

[jtee]

A few years back we had a gifted 13 year old do an internship at my company. He was attending the University Of Washington (computer science major). He was a smart kid, but he was just 13 in nearly all other ways other than being extremely bright academically. He wanted to play video games like most boys his age, and he had a hard time being in work environment 8 hours a day. In other words, he wasn't a 25 year old college student at the age of 13. We dealt with him not as peer, but as 13 year old.

 

[Objective1]

When I was in elementary schools, there were two kids I knew of who skipped a grade and it worked out perfectly for them.

The thing is... If school it too EASY for your child, grade after grade, it will be more difficult for her when she gets to a more advanced level - or come accross a hard situation in life - and all of a sudden it's not so easy anymore and she must now work hard to succeed. See what I mean?

We don't want our child to become lazy or to lose interest. Children need to be mentally stimulated and challenged in order to develop their thinking skills. Also, it gives them a sense of pride and boosts their self-esteem when they succeed after having to work hard to make it happen.

Ultimately, you're the one who knows your child best and seeking other parents' input/opinions/experiences by sharing in this forum is a good idea, no matter what you decide in the end. You know, your issue is just one of those things that will probably have a good side and a bad side one way or another, so might as well listen to your instincts.

 

[Claire64]

Thanks again everyone for your advice.

I've spoken to my husband about this a lot, and we've had several meetings with the school and we've decided not to skip her ahead this year. We're looking into private schools right now and need to decide between two. One uses a more advanced curriculum and the other is very flexible and the classes are very small, so the kids can do advanced work if they want to.

 

[maiya2008]

Hi,
I think it is wonderful that a child is honored with skipping a grade.
I would love for my child to skip a grade.

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