So ticked off right now...

[Father_0f_7]

Billy came home from his best friends house crying today. His friend (Logan) has a brithday party (sleepover) this weekend. Turns out, Billy didn't know about it because....he wasn't invited. Apparently Logan asked Billy why he couldn't come to the sleepover, Billy said he didn't know there was one. Logan went to his mom and asked if Billy could stay and Billy overheard them talking, he's not invited because of his diabetes! :arghh:

We have worked SOOO HARD the past two years to not let diabetes get in the way of him being "Billy". He is a kid first, diabetic second. When we are torn between something we always ask "would we allow him to do it if he didn't have diabetes?"

We thought maybe Billy missunderstood so Amber called the mom. He heard right. Amber asked what that had anything to do with him not being able to sleep over and she said she didn't know how to take care of him. We offer to come over and show her, have Billy show her. Tell her that Billy can take care of pretty much everything himself, he just needs to be woken up twice during the night (midnight, and 3am) to check his blood sugar. Told her that HE himself and check, she didn't have to do anything except wake him up, and make sure he eats his snack if he is too low...she refused to allow him to come.

Amber tried once more. "We will come over now and show to how to do everything, if now isn't a good time, we can come over at a time that is convienient for you. If you have any questions while he is there feel free to call us no matter what time it is."

Still no. I understand that some people are scared, believe me, I get it. But how do we tell out 10 year old that his best friends mom won't let him sleep over because she is afraid, and refuses to learn?! <EMOJI seq="1f615"></EMOJI>

 

[Incogneato]

In all fairness to the mother, she may feel worried that there would be legal issues if something were to happen while he was over there. If she doesn't feel comfortable with it, and isn't willing to do a small part so her own son can be with his friend, then that's her decision. It doesn't make it right, and I definitely don't agree with how she's acting, but you should respect her opinion as a parent and a person. Perhaps she just has the well being of your son at heart and doesn't feel like she should be left in charge of his medical care. Regardless of whether or not Billy does all of his diabetes related activities on his own without her help, she is still the parent at that residence and is still responsible for what happens.

 

[IADad]

oh man, I'd be "ticked" too. I can't believe this. I mean I understand people taking the easy route, I understnad people being scared too, but come on, when given the opportunity you would think she'd come around.

Unfortunately it is a "learning opportunity," that some people let ignorance rule their lives.

I guess you tell him, that his mom's scared that she would do something wrong that would harm him, that you know it doesn't make sense, but grown-ups don't always make sense...can you offer to host a sleepover for this friend and maybe a couple other close friends?

I know when we hosted a birthday party sleepover, it was tough which ones to pick and which to leave out. There was one kid we really didn't want to invite, because he's pretty "high strung," and our list was growing already, but DS really wanted to invite him, and he's the new kid at school and we've tried really hard to include him in stuff to help him get acclimated to the school (and really the country, he'd from italy, and this is his first year in the states.) so, in the end it turned out fine, but I know there are going to be choices made in the future, who you invite, who you leave out, which is one of the reasons I'd almost rather have big party's than small sleepovers....

good luck teaching the ignorant and good luck keeping Billy's spirits up.

 

[Father_0f_7]

I understand where she is coming from. But he is 10 years old. They have been best friends for most of their lives. They have seen eachother almost every day for the last 8 years. And I dont think its "fair" to him, or to Logan.

She has made it clear that Billy is welcome to come over during the day, he just cant sleep over (which doesn't make sense because there is really no difference between Billy's night and day care).

We offered to have Logan over here for a weekend but Billy said he doesn't want to. He wants to go over there, Logan is an only child so when they are at his house there is more "privacy", when they are here there are at least 6 other people at a time. We have a big house but it can get "crowded" sometimes...know what I mean?

 

[IADad]

Yeah, I was just trying to make lemonade out of those lemons...

If I were you, I'd be tempted to say, "you know what, my kid can't come over to your house, because I don't want your stupidity rubbing off on him, and if you're scared for his safety, then maybe you have other saftey concerns I should be worried about," but then who suffers? The kids, I know, it sucks.

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

I'd be pissed too, but I understand where they are coming from. Obviously they could have handled it differently and they seemed to choose just to avoid the issue.

 

[Father_0f_7]

Yeah, I just wish he didn't have to deal with things like this. Kind of sucks.

 

[Xero]

Wow! That is just messed up. It moreso breaks my heart than makes me mad. A ten year old just shouldn't have to go through these kinds of things. The world is so unfair.

I definitely understand their fears and concerns, however I do NOT understand why they refuse to take the time to learn how to do everything like your wife offered. I mean it doesn't even sound like that big of a deal. I personally would be SCARED, but I would also do EVERYTHING in my power to make sure a child never felt left out due to a disability or anything else if I could help it and it was all okay with the child's parents. I mean, can't they imagine, what if it were THEIR son that had diabetes and you guys refusing to let him spend the night because of it? Yeah, it would just kill them inside like it does you. Ugh. Its so sad. People suck. Poor Billy. I hope this doesn't get to him too much.

 

[Father_0f_7]

He's pretty resilient, he has to be. Dane heard what happend and is mad too (such a good brother) so they are going to the batting cages tomorrow with Logan.

I think Billy is pretty much okay with it, he's still a little sad but you can tell he will "get over it" quickly. It's more Amber and I that are mad/sad.

 

[Dadu2004]

OK, well on another turn...I kinda get where the mom is coming from. We have a friend of the family who's son is diabetic...he has to check his sugar every so often, give himself "pumps", watch what he eats, etc. etc. He's very self-sufficient about it, but there's times where he needs reminded to eat a snack or check his sugar or whatever. I've been around the kid a thousand times.... and, I wouldn't be comfortable spending the night around him without his mother there. It's not that I hold anything against him or anything like that, it's just that I would be scared that I wouldn't know what to do. The mom would show me how to do things, and I've seen it a bunch of times...but it's different when you're left alone with the kid. It would make me nervous and jumpy and I'd be worried..."What if something happened in the middle of the night"? "What if I couldn't get ahold of his mom"? "What if he goes into some sort of shock"?

I feel bad for your son Christian, I really do...I wish he didn't have to go through this horrible disease and all of the outcast feelings that come along with it. But, coming from the other side, it's scary here too....I'd feel like I'd do something to "break" him.

It's a no-win.

 

[rockit]

:arghh:

 

[teenage_parent]

oh man, that's effed up. yeah, maybe the mother is worried about legal repercussions.

is there any? you know some legal obligations to that kind of a situation?

 

[Father_0f_7]

oh man, that's effed up. yeah, maybe the mother is worried about legal repercussions.

is there any? you know some legal obligations to that kind of a situation?

Only if something happened and we were to press charges...Which she knows we would never do.

 

[IADad]

oh man, that's effed up. yeah, maybe the mother is worried about legal repercussions.

is there any? you know some legal obligations to that kind of a situation?

if that's the case, then she shouldn't have any kids over at her house, what if one of them trips, or chokes on a hot dog? I mean, let's get real here, we're parents and we treat other people's kids as we would our own. If I do that and somebody gets hurt at my house, then I hope the parents can see, that I did everything a reasonable parent would. If they sue me, then fine we'll let insurance and lawyers sort it out, but I'm not going to change the way I live and start discruminating against kids I feel might harbor greater risk....

 

[Heather Russo]

That's a really good point. Just having a house full of kids could potentailly be a leagal risk, yet as parents we take responsibility for our child's friends when they come over. So is it the added risk? Is it possible that these people have another hidden reason and that your son's health is a smoke screen. do they not want to wake up at night to wake him. I could understand that. I could also understand them not wanting to admit that it is just not worth the hassel for them because it would make them sound lazy or something, so instead they pretend to be concerned. some people just can't be bothered...

 

[mom2many]

I have been wanting to comment on this but have only really had my phone lately and it's a pain to type on but the internet is working for know so I want to say that's a load of CRAP!

I can understand there fears, and it isn't something I would go into blindly but if I had the right "training" I would have no problem with it. Heck peanut allergies scare me more then diabetes.

Has it been better resolved? I feel bad for the poor guys!

 

[Father_0f_7]

Dane took Logan and Billy to the batting cages and Logan slept over here. But other than that nothing. His parents haven't brought it up again and Billy and Logan seem to have moved past it a little so we aren't going to worry about it right now.

My only worry is when Logan has another sleepover and Billy can't come. So we definately want to settle this soon.

 

[cco06]

Would it be possible for Logan's mom to sign a legal waiver? That way she is not held responsible for any medical lapse. She may feel more comfortable in this way. But I AGREE with you being pissed off. She sounds like a rigid you know what.

 

[mom2many]

Dane took Logan and Billy to the batting cages and Logan slept over here. But other than that nothing. His parents haven't brought it up again and Billy and Logan seem to have moved past it a little so we aren't going to worry about it right now.

My only worry is when Logan has another sleepover and Billy can't come. So we definately want to settle this soon.

Have they said anything else? I just find it sad that they aren't at least willing to learn.

 

[abby]

That's really harsh, poor Billy What small minded people. I can understand her concerns but if you are willing to take her through his care then she really shoudl meet you half way and give it a go..you're on the end of a phone if it comes to it. Nothing you can do though, maybe you could have a sleepover for Billy to invite his friends to as a consolation?