Some people are so judgemental - I have just about had enough...

[adoptive dad]

The Background: My parents have recently moved into a new area now we're talking a very conservative (and rich) area. The house prices are easily in the millions. Anyway we were around at their new house this evening when we thought we'd take the kids and dogs for a walk to the park.

The Issue: while there me and Fern got some funny looks with three kids plus my sister in tow. While in the playground with the kids we heard some other (older) parents saying 'well that's what our country has come to people having kids young and illegitimatly and then unable to look after them.' The whole time pointing at us and the kids. So I go over and say 'excuse me but what makes you think you have the right to judge? If you must know me and my wife are 30 and 29 respectively, our kids are adopted and social services I'm sure were happy that we are capable to bring them up as for the older blonde girl, she's my sister... problem? I hope not in future keep your opinions to yourself unless you know the back story.

Fern thinks I over reacted a little did I? Also do me and Fern really look too young to be parents?

 

[cybele]

Personally, I'm a fan of people who correct others who feel the need to voice their unfounded opinions of others, so I would have been cheering you on.

Other than that, I guess there's a compliment in there, sort of, you two must look a lot younger than your ages. Have to be honest, if I were in the situation and had time to think about a response I would have liked to have said "Why thank you, I appreciate the compliment on my appearance in contrast to my age, my secret is not being a judgemental cow, being happy and friendly instead keeps you looking youthful."

 

[adoptive dad]

I like that one Cybele if I could now have my time again id use that Fern said it made her smile a little being called a young mum because someone had asked her sister (who is 26) why she wasn't married with kids at her age... Adrienne wasn't impressed about that one.

 

[akmom]

It seems like an odd thing for a stranger to say.

I know there are some people who are unusually concerned with world population and seem to take offense to the existence of children. However, do these people really frequent children's parks? I'm thinking there must have been some separate offense, possibly that you weren't aware of. Did a dog get loose, or a kid get hurt, or a playground altercation occur?

I wouldn't call your response rude, but it wasn't really classy either. I think it's best not to respond to comments unless they are made to you directly. Are you even certain they were talking about you? A response like that could be really awkward if they weren't...

 

[TabascoNatalie]

There are so many grumpy people in the world. Of course, it is unpleasant, when you hear a negative comment towards your family, and first reaction is to be defensive. However, you don't have to start explaining yourself. Because when somebody is looking for a conflict -- its the reaction they looking for and usually it is older people who say nonsense like that -- IMHO it's worthless to argue with elderly people.

 

[randomperson]

Wow, those people must have a stick up their butt the size of East Texas.

I think any response like that would've suited them, if I were you I would've done the same thing.

But I guess the other comments are right, sometimes walking away might be for the best.

But really, they sound like the people who get punched everywhere they go.

On the other hand, it is a pretty good compliment that you got called young, right? I think that alone is worth it.

 

[superman]

lmao, yeah... I have 2 kids and I'm 24. I feel your pain. But when u get in those areas with $$$ that's what happens, and it will continue happening. just gotta learn people like that are just a waste of your time.

 

[IADad]

First, I think you did fine to stick up for your family. I'm not sure whether you changed any minds or not, I guess that's for time to sort out.

Now, I will take exception at the further generalizations that have gone on in the thread. Listen, it does no good to generalize in either direction. Not ALL elderly people are stuck in their ways and grumpy, Not all people of considerable means are stuffy and selfish, just as not every young person with kids is a drain on the system and just as not every person receiving public assistance is some kind of cheat. Sure, it's in our nature to judge, and it's wrong, but we do it, but to comment on it and not check yourself, that's not good. Personally I find myself making judgements about people and when I catch myself, I stop and think about what lead me to that judgement, and how wrong it might be, and simply how wrong it is for me to judge at all. That's about as good as I can do, try to keep myself in check.

And yes, you both look quite young in your profile pic.

 

[adoptive dad]

Aww thanks IADad. I also agree generalising is not a good thing many old people are really nice (they just sometimes have different views to us younger ones due to different upbringings) Not all rich people are snobish my parents could be thought of as middle class because of their situation, until you get to know them and they're really down to earth. A small number in a group often let the side down.

 

[AlwaysConcerned]

The Background: My parents have recently moved into a new area now we're talking a very conservative (and rich) area. The house prices are easily in the millions. Anyway we were around at their new house this evening when we thought we'd take the kids and dogs for a walk to the park.

The Issue: while there me and Fern got some funny looks with three kids plus my sister in tow. While in the playground with the kids we heard some other (older) parents saying 'well that's what our country has come to people having kids young and illegitimatly and then unable to look after them.' The whole time pointing at us and the kids. So I go over and say 'excuse me but what makes you think you have the right to judge? If you must know me and my wife are 30 and 29 respectively, our kids are adopted and social services I'm sure were happy that we are capable to bring them up as for the older blonde girl, she's my sister... problem? I hope not in future keep your opinions to yourself unless you know the back story.

Fern thinks I over reacted a little did I? Also do me and Fern really look too young to be parents?

In my honest opinion, I don't think you over-reacted. No one, I think, can actually say, how YOU feel. But from my point of view, I think you didn't over-react at all. You were fine. After all, they made the comment while you were still there right? What the hell, gives them the right to make a comment like that anyway? And one more thing, being rich (referring to those idiots) doesn't necessarily mean they're better off in every way. Maybe if you dig a little deeper, you'll find that they have several divorces in THEIR family and a whole lot of other shameful secrets they wouldn't want anyone to find out, just so that their social reputation stays untouched.. So don't worry. Those bitches had it coming!

 

[Shiroi Tora]

I am interested in knowing their counter reply...either in verbiage or body language. If they were talking about you and pointing...especially if they purposely said it within earshot of you...it was profound disrespect to your children. Children are vulnerable to comments made by adults especially.

 

[IADad]

FYI, the OP was a troll who's been banned, I don't think we'll be getting any followups.

 

[LvMyLaxKid]

I don't think you were out of line, I would have said something too. People ARE rude, and I can't even believe they'd voice their ignorant opinions for people to hear. What did they say?? I really hope they felt stupid and foolish.......

 

[LvMyLaxKid]

FYI, the OP was a troll who's been banned, I don't think we'll be getting any followups.

Wish I would have read this BEFORE I just replied.

 

[babysitter]

You didn't overreact. They were rude. Hopefully, they learned their lesson.

 

[singledad]

Dude, seriously! It is always a good idea to at least scan through other replies on a thread before posting your own....

PS- mods, what are the chances of getting this thread closed?

 

[Xero]

Good point SD, I will go ahead and close it.