Soon-to-be Bonus Mom needs advice...

[NewBonusMom]

Hi...I'm a soon-to-be bonus mom (I prefer the term to "stepmother") and I'm here for advice and chat with other bonus moms or people in blended families.

I meet my fiance's kids for the first time on Sunday. Eeeeeeek!

 

[jtee]

Welcome, what age range are his children?

 

[NewBonusMom]

Welcome, what age range are his children?

They're two girls...one is 4, nearly 5; and the other is 6.

 

[jtee]

There are a few others here that have children in that age range. One of our other two forum moderators (Kaytee) lives in Texas. Fallon is the other moderator and she has a daughter that is 5 (I think).

 

[NewBonusMom]

There are a few others here that have children in that age range. One of our other two forum moderators (Kaytee) lives in Texas. Fallon is the other moderator and she has a daughter that is 5 (I think).

Cool. I'm sure I'll be asking all kinds of dumb questions. My fiance giggles at my naive questions. :veryconfused:

 

[Trina]

WELCOME! There is no such thing as a dumb question, especially when concerning parenting.

 

[fallon]

welcome...I like the term bonus mom, that's great

 

[NewBonusMom]

welcome...I like the term bonus mom, that's great

Thanks, I read it in a column in the Dallas Morning News.

 

[fallon]

it doesn't sound so bad that way...step parent seems to have a nasty stigma attached to it

 

[NewBonusMom]

it doesn't sound so bad that way...step parent seems to have a nasty stigma attached to it

That was exactly my thinking.

Apparently the girls really like the movie "Cinderella" so maybe they'd freak out if I was referred to as their "stepmother". Right now I'm going to be "daddy's special friend" but I'll be a bona fide "bonusmom" soon.

 

[fallon]

That was exactly my thinking.

Apparently the girls really like the movie "Cinderella" so maybe they'd freak out if I was referred to as their "stepmother". Right now I'm going to be "daddy's special friend" but I'll be a bona fide "bonusmom" soon.

good luck with the first meeting, I hope everything goes well for all of you. Girls that age are a lot of fun

 

[NewBonusMom]

good luck with the first meeting, I hope everything goes well for all of you. Girls that age are a lot of fun

Thanks! Any tips for how that should go?

 

[fallon]

do you guys have something special planned for your first meeting? Kids that age will take to you quickly if you are fun and ready to play. Have dad give you a quick over view of their favorite things (barbie, ponys, movies foods) and ask the girls about those things, be interested and smile a lot. come down to their level and don't push, they will open up to you (as long as they are ok with a women in dads life)

 

[NewBonusMom]

do you guys have something special planned for your first meeting? Kids that age will take to you quickly if you are fun and ready to play. Have dad give you a quick over view of their favorite things (barbie, ponys, movies foods) and ask the girls about those things, be interested and smile a lot. come down to their level and don't push, they will open up to you (as long as they are ok with a women in dads life)

Thanks for the tips, I'll keep those in mind. It's my fiance's nephew's birthday party on Sunday, so there will be lots of people around; hopefully that will help!

 

[1dayatatime]

I love your postive energy. Fallon suggestion are GREAT I totally agree. I am a "bonusmom" of 4yo girl. I keep hoping that WOW will catch on. At her 3rd b day party they made me a mom badge to wear. I'm not mom so I just wore it upside down. Instant Wow.

 

[musicmom]

I have three children and I also have a 16 yr old step son who's the sweetest. It's fun being a step mom.

 

[Kaytee]

well congrats on the upcoming wedding and congrats on getting 2 bonus children!
I'm in the dallas area as well, but only one daughter who just turned 2. I am from a large blended family though!! I have 4 step brothers

 

[NewBonusMom]

Hi y'all...I met his kids on Sunday and I think it went pretty well. We went to his nephew's fourth birthday party at one of those places that has pizza and video games.

I think it was a good environment to meet in because the kids were nice and distracted by the environment...so they saw me and got sort of used to me but they mostly played and went crazy. Afterwards we went to his sister's house and I got a chance to play with the kids on their level. I'm seeing them again on Saturday...will let y'all know how that goes.

 

[PreSchool Mama]

Hey Bonus Mom (love that moniker!),

Glad it all went well at the Big Meeting. Kids that age are more into fun and playing, than getting worked up over relationships. Anybody who can talk to them at their level, and engage with them is on their buddy list.

You seem to be a fantastic bonus mom. They're lucky to have someone who's making such an effort to get to know them better!

 

[stepmommy0221]

Hey bonusmom...any questions you got, I've probably gone through the same thing you will or have!!! Stepmom to 10 yr old and have been involved in his life since he was 6...there's a lot of adjustments but even when it seems hard, it's mostly fun ;-)