Spanking vs. Smacking...
- Thread starter Lissa
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I think so. I never hit them on their hand hard, only enough to sting just a bit. That was enough to get the point across and made them remember NOT to do it again.
I've only spanked their butts a couple of times and that was for pure 100% defiance and after being told several times. I normally don't have to spank at all. I hate doing it so thankfully it's not often at all. Not when they were little, only around five or six yrs old.
I've only spanked their butts a couple of times and that was for pure 100% defiance and after being told several times. I normally don't have to spank at all. I hate doing it so thankfully it's not often at all. Not when they were little, only around five or six yrs old.
It's difficult for me to tell the difference because I was raised in a family where we got "spankings". My dad would take us into the back bedroom, make us take our pants down, and give us a spanking. To me, that was a spanking. And it was wrong because all we felt was fear. Being raised where spanking was used inappropriately makes it hard to discipline your own child, you know?
I know Lissa, my mother was abusive..not really with the spankings but the name calling, hair pulling, shoving, hitting us in our mouths, choking.
I'm very careful parenting as to not bring any of her traits into my parenting style.
I would never pull their pants down and spank them. I did that one time and I felt so horrible. I would never ever do that again.
I'm very careful parenting as to not bring any of her traits into my parenting style.
I would never pull their pants down and spank them. I did that one time and I felt so horrible. I would never ever do that again.
I see it differently. My children do fear me because they KNOW that I do not put up with disrespect. I can usually get them to change their ways by a look. I had to establish all of this when they were small like yours. I was never cruel to them. It can wear you out totally to stay on top of it but don't let him see you tired. It'll pay off in the long run.
Now that they are older I can talk to them about respect. When they are little like prince O there isn't much you can do but redirect and tap the occasional hand and use a firm voice. Look him dead in his eyes and firmly say "No Oliver, owie"
Now that they are older I can talk to them about respect. When they are little like prince O there isn't much you can do but redirect and tap the occasional hand and use a firm voice. Look him dead in his eyes and firmly say "No Oliver, owie"
Isn't he two? Tapping his hand is fine. It's better then him going and putting something in a light socket or pulling something he's not supposed to. She has to do whatever to make sure he's safe. She is his guidance and there is nothing wrong with tapping his hand. That's what mothers do.
If she were a chicken she would peck him, or a dog would pounce on their pups. No mother in the world allows her child to get hurt.
If she were a chicken she would peck him, or a dog would pounce on their pups. No mother in the world allows her child to get hurt.
He'd still understand a tiny tap. She can't allow him to touch things, she can't yell and make him a nervous wreck. Redirecting him won't work all the time. He's going to test her, that's what they do. She has to show him that she is the mother and he needs to listen to her.
Lissa in the end you need to do what works best for you. You are a loving mother who knows her child better then anyone. For me tapping Logan's hand works, redirection doesn't...Fosser thinks that's crule but he also hasn't been were you are so he really is just assuming that the child is being hurt in someway. He's right in a sense because it would be crule to hurt the child...it isn't crule to let them know that they are touching something they shouldn't , or that could hurt them and they need to learn that now at this age. It all comes down to finding a method that works for your family. Logan thinks it's hilarious when I try to redirect him and will actually go striaght back to whatever he was going because he thinks we are playing a game...he's laugh the whole time he's crawling toward the kitchen because he knnows mommy is going to grab him up and take him over to the toy box. But when he is touching the front of the oven (not when it's on) and I take his hand in mine and pat it gentely and sturnly tell him "we don't touch the oven...That's hot" he gets it. Mainly I pat his hand to let him know that touching is done with his hand...and I always pat his hand as I'm saying the word touching. His 11 months old and he gets it...and is in no way shape or form afraid of me or hurt in anyway
Sounds familiar!!!fallon said:
My BF started smacking her son's hands when he started crawling. I've been trying to hold off and I hoped I never would have to, but I just don't know any other way.
You don't think that tapping his hand tells him that hitting is okay?