State to mom: Stop baby-sitting neighbors' kids...

16th ave.

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<r><URL url="</s>State to mom: Stop baby-sitting neighbors' kids - Yahoo! News<e></e></URL><br/>
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IRVING TOWNSHIP, Mich. – Each day before the school bus comes to pick up the neighborhood's children, Lisa Snyder did a favor for three of her fellow moms, welcoming their children into her home for about an hour before they left for school.<br/>
Regulators who oversee child care, however, don't see it as charity. Days after the start of the new school year, Snyder received a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continued, she'd be violating a law aimed at the operators of unlicensed day care centers.<br/>
"I was freaked out. I was blown away," she said. "I got on the phone immediately, called my husband, then I called all the girls" — that is, the mothers whose kids she watches — "every one of them."<br/>
Snyder's predicament has led to a debate in Michigan about whether a law that says no one may care for unrelated children in their home for more than four weeks each calendar year unless they are licensed day-care providers needs to be changed. It also has irked parents who say they depend on such friendly offers to help them balance work and family.<br/>
On Tuesday, agency Director Ismael Ahmed said good neighbors should be allowed to help each other ensure their children are safe. Gov. Jennifer Granholm instructed Ahmed to work with the state Legislature to change the law, he said.<br/>
"Being a good neighbor means helping your neighbors who are in need," Ahmed said in a written statement. "This could be as simple as providing a cup of sugar, monitoring their house while they're on vacation or making sure their children are safe while they wait for the school bus."<br/>
Snyder learned that the agency was responding to a neighbor's complaint.<br/>
Granholm spokeswoman Liz Boyd said the agency was following standard procedure in its response. "But we feel this (law) really gets in the way of common sense," Boyd said.<br/>
"We want to protect kids, but the law needs to be reasonable," she said. "When the governor learned of this, she acted quickly and called the director personally to ask him to intervene."<br/>
State Rep. Brian Calley, R-Portland, said he was working to draft legislation that would exempt situations like Snyder's from coverage under Michigan's current day care regulations.<br/>
The bill will make it clear that people who aren't in business as day care providers don't need to be licensed, Calley said.<br/>
"These are just kids that wait for the bus every morning," he said. "This is not a day care."<br/>
Snyder, 35, lives in a rural subdivision in Barry County's Irving Township about 25 miles southeast of Grand Rapids. Her tidy, comfortable three-bedroom home is a designated school bus stop. The three neighbor children she watched — plus Snyder's first-grader, Grace — attend school about six miles away in Middleville.<br/>
Snyder said she started watching the other children this school year to help her friends; they often baby-sit for each other during evenings and weekends.<br/>
After receiving the state agency's letter, she said she called the agency and tried to explain that she wasn't running a day care center or accepting money from her friends.<br/>
Under state law, no one may care for unrelated children in their home for more than four weeks each calendar year unless they are licensed day-care providers. Snyder said she stopped watching the other children immediately after receiving the letter, which was well within the four-week period.<br/>
"I've lived in this community for 35 years and everyone I know has done some form of this," said Francie Brummel, 42, who would drop off her second-grade son, Colson, before heading to her job as deputy treasurer of the nearby city of Hastings.<br/>
Other moms say they regularly deal with similar situations. <br/>
Amy Cowan, 34, of Grosse Pointe Farms, a Detroit suburb, said she often takes turns with her sister, neighbor and friend watching each other's children. <br/>
"The worst part of this whole thing, with the state of the economy ... two parents have to work," said Cowan, a corporate sales representative with a 5-year-old son and 11-month-old daughter. "When you throw in the fact that the state is getting involved, it gives women a hard time for going back to work. <br/>
"I applaud the lady who takes in her neighbors' kids while they're waiting for the bus. She's enabling her peers to go to work and get a paycheck. The state should be thankful for that." <br/>
Amy Maciaszek, 42, of McHenry, Ill., who works in direct sales, said she believes the state agency was "trying to be overprotective." <br/>
"I think it does take a village and that's the best way," said Maciaszek, who has a 6-year-old boy and twin 3-year-old daughters. "Unfortunately you do have to be careful about that. These mothers are trying to do the right thing." <br/>
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Nes

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I have to say that law makes allot of sense, this is an unfortunate application.

It may be best for her to get a license then charge $1 for her services so she can stay within the letter of the law.

If they changed the law there would be no reason for anyone to get a day-care license.
 

16th ave.

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i understand the state's laws and all that. but in this case the woman is just watching those kids to make sure they don't get into any trouble or have something terrible happen to them while waiting.

jeremy, here kids as young as four years old ride the bus w/the only supervision being the older kids and the bus driver. not unusual at all to see several kids waiting on the corner of nearly any given street waiting on the school bus. someone has got to watch them while they are waiting. if a group of moms can get together like this lady and her friends did to help everyone out then its actually a great idea if you know the families involved especially in these hard times and with the crime rate being in the shape its in.


like many here, i see nothing wrong with what this lady and her friends are doing. the state is attacking the wrong people. the neighbor that made a complaint to cps should have gone to the school for whatever problem they had about the bus stop. could be the neighbor only has a problem with its location and are handling the problem in the wrong way
unless there is something that the mom may have done to tick the neighbor off or not even supervising the kids the way she claims she is doing. its always possible.
 

fallon

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AmyBelle said:
Damn, if I lived in Michigan id be breaking the law aswell, I babysit varous kids in our town, often.

Nutters.
yeah, they should probably come get me too...lol I spent a good yr watching my girlfriends daughter everyday
 

fallon

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Jeremy+3 said:
If I was not leaving my child with family there is no way I would leave them with anyone who did not had a CRB check and a license.
wow...I'm actually sad for you because by saying that you're telling us you don't have a single friend you would ever trust to watch you children
 

Nes

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AmyBelle said:
Damn, if I lived in Michigan id be breaking the law aswell, I babysit varous kids in our town, often.

Nutters.
Oh me 3.

I don't mean to say that this isn't total BS, it's completely ridiculous!!! I still think she should just give in & get a license so they'll stop bugging her.

We have lots of close friends, that don't have kids... I am a little concerned about leaving our son with them and haven't had to yet luckily :S. I'd feel allot better with a registered sitter/day-care.
 

Xero

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Well, I have a few very close friends, and I actually haven't asked them to babysit Eli yet. BUT that's only because I'm young and therefor my friends are young, and none of them have children yet. So its not that I don't trust them, just that I prefer someone with a little more life experience like my mom or my sister or BF's mom, you know? I'm sure Eli would be fine at my friend's house, but he would be in much better hands at my mom's. That's all. When I'm older and I have close friends who have children and we're all a bunch of moms together lol I'm sure that will work out for me but my friends are still awful young and kidless right now.
 

Jeremy+3

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fallon said:
wow...I'm actually sad for you because by saying that you're telling us you don't have a single friend you would ever trust to watch you children
Not sad, especially as one of my very close, but now ex-friend was fairly recently convicted the unspeakable and would offer to babysit our children almost every time me and my wife went out, which did not accept.

Former RAF serviceman jailed over child porn - Grantham Journal
 

Xero

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That's funny because my mom was sexually abused by her uncle. And my cousin just went to jail for some type of child molest.

The question here is not whether our friends or our family watch our kids, its whether or not a GOOD, TRUSTED person watches our kids. I have some pretty strange family members, that I would never allow to watch my child.

So YOU'RE saying that no matter WHAT your family member is like, because they're family, they can watch your kids? I know its a pretty obvious answer, but the answer as far as friends go should be just as obvious to you. Its not a matter of who the person is, or whether or not they are related to you, its a matter of how well you know them and how well you know you can trust them. And what kind of person they are. The fact that the friend of yours who you never let babysit went to jail and that surprised you, just means that you apparently didn't know him that well. If you have one big perfect family, then that's amazing and you guys should do a news story, because my family sure isn't perfect and there are just some relatives of mine I know for a fact I'd never let babysit.
 

Nes

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Xero we're in the same boat. I know one of hubby's friends is dieing to care for Lucas because he really want to convince his long time girlfriend (9 years now?) to have kids :D. My child is not for practice!!! We are going to use them when I go into labour with the next babe because they are the only ones close enough & available. The rest of his friends? I'd MAYBE let them watch my dogs... for a few hours...

My big thing is to make sure there are more then one person sitting at any one time that way their are witnesses.

It's very hard though! Hubby and I have barely had a whole night alone since Lucas was born, so we just have our alone time after he's gone to bed :). Sometimes that's just what being a parent is about.

I feel so sorry for the working single moms of kidnap/rape/murder victims who are left with friends or family because they have NO other choices :(.

Jeremy that's SO scary!!
 

Jeremy+3

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Xero said:
That's funny because my mom was sexually abused by her uncle. And my cousin just went to jail for some type of child molest.

The question here is not whether our friends or our family watch our kids, its whether or not a GOOD, TRUSTED person watches our kids. I have some pretty strange family members, that I would never allow to watch my child.

So YOU'RE saying that no matter WHAT your family member is like, because they're family, they can watch your kids? I know its a pretty obvious answer, but the answer as far as friends go should be just as obvious to you. Its not a matter of who the person is, or whether or not they are related to you, its a matter of how well you know them and how well you know you can trust them. And what kind of person they are. The fact that the friend of yours who you never let babysit went to jail and that surprised you, just means that you apparently didn't know him that well. If you have one big perfect family, then that's amazing and you guys should do a news story, because my family sure isn't perfect and there are just some relatives of mine I know for a fact I'd never let babysit.
Would you like to show me where I said that any family member would be allowed to watch my children? Or do you just enjoy trying to put words in peoples mouths?
 

TabascoNatalie

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babysitting a toddler that's one -- really there are very few people whom i could trust. but meeting a school-aged child from bus and having him over for an hour to play -- that's totally different. Don't your big kids visit friends homes? Especially if you know the parents.
 

Xero

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Jeremy+3 said:
Would you like to show me where I said that any family member would be allowed to watch my children? Or do you just enjoy trying to put words in peoples mouths?
First of all, please refer to the rule on personal attacks here (#3): http://www.parentingforums.org/f17/rules-guidelines-read-before-posting-7179.html[/URL]

And try not to get nasty when we're two adults having a conversation/debate. It shouldn't be hard to keep something so simple civil. It wasn't my goal to tick you off, and no I was not putting words into your mouth. It was very clearly posed as a question, and it was completely hypothetical (which I pointed out by saying the answer was obvious) and its only purpose was to show you that there are gray areas and not just "I would leave my kid with any friend!" or "I would leave my kid with any family member!". I said it because you assumed the parents that leave their kids with a friend, don't make sure that they know them and trust them. You have to do that with a family member too. That was my point.

You were being very judgemental and critical to the parents here that leave their children with anyone who is not directly related to them. I was pointing out that that idea didn't make very much sense, because some people have friends that they trust and know much better than their family members. You may have a trustworthy, close family, and criminals for friends, but a lot of people aren't in that exact same boat. People have different lives, and do things differently, and they use the best of their judgement to do the best they can for their kids. That's no reason to look down on them.
 

Dadu2004

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I agree Xero.... there are some of my friends that I would absolutely trust with my child, and some I wouldn't. It really comes down to how well you know that person and what their responsibility level is. It doesn't matter if they're blood or not....just because some is your blood relative doesn't automatically mean that they're more capable of caring for your child than a friend of yours.