AnaB2142 said:
Okay - I have 5 step-grandchildren. My step-daughter has a passive parenting approach with her kids. She does very little directing or parenting - the kids wander around from adult to adult bothering each and every one of them, and I have never, not even one time, seen the kids play with a toy or be self-entertained. The kids ruin my experience every time and I actually find myself taking a very long time in the restroom just to escape and collect my nerves. Yes, I do make over them, pay attention to them as appropriate but enough is enough. I really need advice on this. My children never bothered other adults. They went off and played so this is completely foreign to me. The other day when I was alone with the 4 year old, I told her no to something and she went berzerk on me. Also, I have seen no structure - no "come here and eat its dinner time" or "time for bed now" or anything of the sort. As I said, the kids are self-ruling and all powerful and because I am a step, I feel totally helpless. Please someone help!
I'm agreeing with everyone else, it's a tough one. Do you have a decent relationship with your step daughter, I'm wondering if she allows this because she knows it annoys you??
I guess if you have to go to their home than limit your time to a very short amount, if your husband wants to stay than you might have to leave with out him just to make your point.
If you have them over your house,than I agree with M2M that you do have a right take control, if I were you, I'd buy some toys, and keep them at my house and when the kids come over tell them to go out and play with the toys, it might cost you a little but you will get the peace of mind. (and have control)
The flip side to this is that the SD may not like it, and might get confrontational, if that happens I would NEVER say your kids are unruly instead I'd say 'but I feel so sorry for the children b/c they have nothing to do but hang around with us boring adults' make it like you have the children's best interest at heart. Other people will get what you really mean and will probably thank you for it. lol
And if the mom does goes off, she looks like the fool not you.
The other problem is that someone may have to keep an eye on the kids if they are alone outside, I don't know how your get together s go.
My mom always had toys in her own home, or what she called a 'rainy day bag' full of crafts and, board games, playing cards, coloring books... things that kept us/and our kids busy for hours on our own.
Probably for the same reasons!! lol