Taking a semester off....

[Cop2be]

As you all know, I'm depressed.
I hardly care about school this semester and I am quite sick of everything.
I can't be bothered to do my work and am doing it all last minute.
I just wanna lay in bed and sleep. I've been doing a lot of sleeping. 15 hours a day.

I can't see anything being better next semester, in fact I can just see this getting worse because I don't have any money and next semester if I do go to college I will have to transfer schools meaning I will need a car because I can't take classes in town next semester.

We have something called light-rail here but its atleast a 15 minute drive from my house and my mom taking me is not an option.


I thought about it more. If I do go to college next semester, that's $1000 that is taken away from police academy and no car to work during that time as well to make money.


I want to take next semester off recoop and not blow the money and not be able to go to police academy. I am going to police academy in fall of 2010. I WAS going to go this winter but due to age issues had to postpone.

Anyways its fits perfectly.
I turn 21 in August.
Academy starts in August.
I age out of explorers in August.

My mom said that if I want to live at home then I need to go to college.
She has the best of intentions. She wants me to succeed and get a degree but she isn't paying for my college and doesn't understand the whole money problem and isn't even willing to try. She just equates taking the semester off to me working at a Burger King my whole life. In reality if I screw away the money, I WILL be working at Burger King.


I asked the question somewhere else and got unanimous "her house, her rules".
I was told to "get over" the depression. I was told if I moved out and had to pay my own bills and deal with life I would "forget" my depression. I was told I wasn't really depressed. I was told that if I didn't like it I could move out get a job and take all the breaks from school that I wanted to.

With no car and on min wage, i'd be broke for the rest of my life. No way to pay for college and no way to go to academy. Barely being able to pay bills with no chance to advance.

My ONLY option is to take the semester off, go to work, save up the rest of the money for police academy and then go back after academy because its about $5,000 and my grandmother doesn't have near that left.
And my mom would just need to cope with it and face that fact that she doesn't have the money to send me and my grandmother doesn't have enough and that I need to work and save it up. I am NOT postponing academy anymore. It is a job that provides me with a stable salary, health benefits and much much more, I need this job so I can finish college. I can't even finish getting my degree because my grandmother doesn't have enough.

So what do I do?
Go by mom's rules and screw myself over 7 different ways?
Or
Do I leave my mom out and make decisions with my grandmother and just put up with her whinging?

 

[16th ave.]

i wish you the best of luck.


i do think your mom, even with all the issues you and her have w/each other, does understand the money issues a little more than you realize. someday when you've got kids of your own and you maybe find yourself struggling to make ends meet and just keep a roof over your family's heads and food on the table you will understand this, even if things don't get that bad you will still find yourself understanding where your mom is coming from when its comes to all situations involving money...

good luck.

 

[Cop2be]

The money is my grandmothers and my mom doesn't know how much she has. My grandmother wont tell her because my mom mooches off her, like literally, I think she pays all our bills.

Which is partially why I can't wait to go out.

 

[Trina]

Have you considered applying for college loans or looking to see if you qualify for any student assistance programs or scholarships? Another option is to work while attending college. You're not the first student who has gone through rough times. How have you paid for college thus far? Are you required to have a degree before starting the Police Academy? Sorry, I'm not sure how all that works.

 

[Cop2be]

My grandmother is paying for my college. My great grandmother saved up money my whole life, it only amounted to a few thousand but its something.

I do not have to have a degree before academy.
A few officers and even one of my supervisors are already cops and are going to the same college for their criminal justice degrees. Even one of the explorers is going there for a degree in criminal justice. Which is what i plan on doing AFTER I am a cop so I can pay for it myself.

 

[Xero]

Okay well I'm not going to be totally sure until I know the REAL reason you're not going to school this semester.

If its this:

As you all know, I'm depressed.
I hardly care about school this semester and I am quite sick of everything.
I can't be bothered to do my work and am doing it all last minute.
I just wanna lay in bed and sleep. I've been doing a lot of sleeping. 15 hours a day.

Then no. Get off your butt, drink a red bull, and GO TO SCHOOL. Just wait until someday you have to get up at 6am every morning to get your kids on the bus, go to work for 8 hours, come home and clean the house and make dinner and help with homework and then get your kids to bed and sleep for a little while and do it all over again every single day. School is not that big of a deal. And there is no reason on this earth that you should be sleeping for that many hours in one day. You are completely wasting your life away.

But if its this:

My ONLY option is to take the semester off, go to work, save up the rest of the money for police academy and then go back after academy because its about $5,000 and my grandmother doesn't have near that left.

Then its pretty obvious that's the only choice you have, and your mom will have to accept that or kick you out. That sucks, but there's not much we can do about it. We can't really call up your mom and tell her off. You know? If that's REALLY the reason you're thinking about doing this, then do what's best. But I think the real decision here should be made by your grandmother, who has the money. If she tells you to go, then she obviously has no issues in paying for it. If she tells you not to, then don't. Your mom can't say anything unless she's hiding $5,000 in her underwear drawer.

I doubt you have classes on weekends. Why don't you get a weekend job? You're saying you could get a job if you weren't in school, so I'm sure you could get a part time job if you stayed. I'd say the only drawback is that you'd rather sleep 15hrs a day instead of going to work to better yourself.

 

[Jeremy+3]

I had to take a year out of uni (we cannot take semesters out here) I had money issues as well and was sick of 35 uni hours a week then all my free time being used for doing homework. I think taking time out is really good, it stops you losing interest in your course and wanted to slap your lecturers, plus when you are tired you cannot learn properly.

 

[IADad]

I'm a little late to this, I've been gone a while, so sorry, I wasn't aware of your depression.

If you think/feel or fear you are depressed, then you need medical help, taking time off from school will not fix your depression if you're truly depressed. Now, if you're just bummed and feeling sorry for yourself, then take a semester off and work 4 jobs to save up money, or keep going to school and work 2 jobs, it really can be done. Have you talked with a financial aid officer, yes I know grandma's paying for school, but there may be other aid available to help you with expenses while you go to school.

Now, I have one question about this school? Is it a "for-profit" school or a state run institution? It doesn't really matter if it's for profit as a lot of criminal justice programs are, but what does matter is accrediitation. If you ever hope to have a degree that is worth the paper it's written on the it's got to be from an accreditted institution. Now, what degree are you pursuing? an Assoicates? A Bachelors? If it's anything short of a Bachelor of Science, then go in and talk to the registars office and ask if you're credits would transfer to xyz Unviersity (I don't care wich one, just pick your nearest State University.) If their answer is anything short of an imphatic "Yes, 100% of them" then I'd suggest you RUN away from this school, don't take a sememster off, take grandma's money and run to an accreditted school.

I think you've been around here long enough to know we're not just telling you to "get over it." We wnat to see you succeedm but collectively in one way or anyother we've been there before. I took a semester off between my Bachelor's and grad school because I had graduated in December....I never did make it back to grad school. There is always that danger when you walk away, there's always another reason why going it isn't the right time to go back.

 

[Cop2be]

Well, when I get into my 30's I am going to want to settle down and have kids meaning being a cop will not be so ideal. I will need to be detective or something. Or I was getting the degree so that I could go into NCIS.

So, I HAVE to go back from my degree. I will get it at some point in time or other.

 

[Father_0f_7]

NCIS is really hard to get into. And it's not as safe as being a Cop unless you do desk work.

You will be a Federal Agent, be away from your family for days, sometimes weeks at a time. Traveling alot, almost 2 weeks out of a month. Chasing terrorists. The risk of never...NEVER seeing your family again when you walk out the front door in the morning is a definate possibility. Federal Agents in NCIS, FBI, CIA...etc. have an extremely high divorce rate and are almost never granted primary custody because of the trauma they have/could sustain.

If you really want to "settle down and have a familiy"...an Ideal family, where you would actually get to see them more than twice a month...I would consider something else.

 

[Cop2be]

That description makes me want to do it even more.
I watch the tv show, which is what sparked me to look into it and I know its nothing like tv but you description makes it look better than the show.

Some parts are kinda scary but I want that thrill.

 

[Father_0f_7]

It's not like the show at all. I mean it is, but the show makes it look alot more fun and safe.

How does my description make it look better than the show...it what way is it better I guess is what i'm trying to say.

 

[meow_173]

Have you thought about treating the depression?

 

[Xero]

That description makes me want to do it even more.
I watch the tv show, which is what sparked me to look into it and I know its nothing like tv but you description makes it look better than the show.

Some parts are kinda scary but I want that thrill.

I don't get it. So you want a family, or you want thrill? Which one is it? You're changing your answer to suit the comeback. He was not trying to tell you it was a bad job, he was trying to tell you that it was not the best "family girl" job, and he's completely right. Not that you can't have a family, just that you can't really be there for them.

Have you thought about treating the depression?

Yeah honestly that would be a good idea. Quitting school becuase you're depressed, isn't going to help your depression get better, its going to feed into it and let it take over even more.

 

[Father_0f_7]

That's exactly what I was trying to say Xero.

It is totally possible to have a family and have a job at NCIS...I did it for 8 years and I have many friends that are still doing it.

I'm just saying it wasnt a great life, it was good and I wouldnt change what I did for the world but I missed Billy's first word, Kaitlyn's first steps, Dylan's 13th birthday, Megan's first date...I missed everything because NCIS takes everything out of you.
That was one of the main reasons I quit, I was missing huge milestones in my childrens lives and I barely even knew my wife anymore.

You take the job, and everyone is so excited for you...your wife/husband, your kids, your mom...everyone. Then when it gets to about the 2 year mark, your kids are worried about you all the time, you cant sleep because you have put away so many terrible people who said they would come to your house and kill your family while you watched you start to believe them (and they would do it if they had the chance), your husband/wife and you are fighting all the time because he/she is scared and doesnt want to lose you.

Which one is it...do you want to be a family woman, or an NCIS woman. Both are rewarding but in my opinion, if you want to actually watch your children gorw up...go for the family woman. Or at least know what you're getting into.

 

[AmyBelle]

Good lord, DH gets enough threats and such and he's just your average run-of-the-mill cop. I couldnt imagine him working in the federal agency.

 

[Aunt]

you know it sounds like you are having some mental health problems. I would see a DR
I also am all for taking up to a year and working in the real world. Invest your grandmas money wisely & it will be there when you go back. I took 2 years. Worked as a waitress and ski instructor for 1 and travelled the world with the other. Then approached college like an adult. Best decision i ever made