Teenage parents...

[Antoinette]

okay... this may start an actual debate but i am curious.. i was lying in bed with felix this morning and my friend from 8th grade txt me (no idea how she has my number, haven't spoken to her in nearly 5 years) she obviously didn't know about my lil one and she was begging me to come out and i was like "thats not going happen" and she kept pushing me and i was starting to get annoyed and i realized that she didn't know about Felix and it got me thinking that i had felix when i was 17 which is right at that age that most girls go out partying and drinking and nightclubbing etc. and i didn't really do any of that because i had a baby..

obviously being a teen mum you know that I'm not going to stand here and say all teen mums are terrible because i think I am doing a pretty good job.. irresponsible yes because it never should have happened but not a bad mum... i just want to know your stance on teen mum's..

yes i know i started this so i am promising myself i will not be offended with the answers i get..

 

[Dadu2004]

To be honest with you, you're still a kid at that age. The unfortunately reality is that you're missing out on a lot of growing up and life experiences because you have a child at such a young age. I wish that you (and all teen parents) would have been more responsible and careful so that you can enjoy life at that age.

That being said, I think that teens can be good parents too if they're given the opportunity. I know that you were very young in having a child, but you seem to be doing a very nice job. You have willingly given up some of the opportunities that teens have to "live life" in an effort to be the best parent possible, so congrats to you on that.

 

[Antoinette]

i actually don't disagree with you... i wish i had waited and had been a teenager just so when I'm 40 i don't look back and think "what if" but I'm not 40 and as of right now i have no regrets because i can't imagine life without my main man Felix and knowing i will have a baby girl in less than a month is the most exciting feeling... i never thought about being a mum until i was.. not seriously anyway so i would never take it back now its done but if it had never happened i would have liked to wait 5 years or so

 

[Dadu2004]

Thing is, most of us can say "I iwsh I would've...." That's part of being a parent. No one is perfect and we're dealt the hand we're dealt. We deal with what we can and do the best we can.

You're doing fine Antoinette...keep up the good work!

 

[Mom2all]

I was a teenage parent. It was hard. We were poor. I made mistakes. We all missed out on alot. But they were always loved! I had to work very hard to provide for us and not sit back on some state assistance program. It was tough.

However... we all survived. And now I'm glad it happened like it did. My children saved me. They gave me a reason to have to believe in myself. I had no choice.

I am still young enough that we can enjoy each other as adults too. My daughter and I spend days off together now.. because we like each others company.

I have 4 left at home now.. but the youngest is 12 in a few days.. so by the time I am 43, when most of the people my age are still doing the primary school and middle school thing.. I can be on some exotic cruise if I want.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

think least what somebody else says about you.
you're a happy mom with a wonderful child. and that's it. age means nothing at all.
as for nightclubs and dances and drinks -- these don't run away from you. you can still enjoy that even if you're 60.

 

[mom2many]

Do I wish teens would wait?....yes.

Is it the end of the world?.....no.

Is it harder for a young teen mom?...Yes.

But there are a lot of good teens moms out there, I don't think age is going to make a mom good, because there is good and bad in all age groups.

I know there are a lot of people who have big issue's with teen pregnancy, and of course in a perfect world there wouldn't be any, but I am not one who see's it as the end of the world.

 

[Choppy]

It's always tempting in tackling questions like this to hold up the example to some kind of "golden" life - an ideal picture of what life should be. But once you really get down to defining it, people will really disagree on what that ideal life is.

The biggest issues facing teen parents are that you don't have as much life experience to draw on in raising your children, and you likely don't have an established career, which presents issues with respect to financial stability.

But one might also point out the benefits of being a teen parent. You likely have a lot more energy compared to parents in their late thirties. Also, you will be more connected to the world your child will grow up in (compared to, for example, parents who never grew up with the internet, cell phones, text messaging, etc.).

I think what I disapprove of is people who don't step up to the plate to assume the reponsibilities of parenthood. It's easy to push teens into this corner because they are young and have a lot of temptations on their doorsteps, but really, there are lots of adults who shy away from the responsibilities too.

 

[Antoinette]

i agree with pretty much everything said here. i am a teenager and a single mother, we do it tough and no we don't get everything we <U>want</U> but i don't think Felix has ever gone without something he has <U>needed</U> and even though it is hard i work as much as i can and i am studying as well.. Felix even comes along to class with me sometimes. which everyone loves they do skits with him on how to speak to a disruptive baby.. because disruptive he is LOL..

my stance pretty much is that we are doing well no matter what anyone says and we are both healthy and happy so even though we would possibly have a better house or be more financially stable if i was older he has all the love he could ever want.. plus a million times more and he wouldn't have any more of that no matter how old i was because he is my angel and me being a teenager doesn't change that.

 

[Antoinette]

and when he is 20 i will be 37 which is still <U>very</U> young. i will be 38 when Alegra is 20 which gives me that time to live and travel and everything.. i am happy with the way it happened

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

yeh, that is a good point too antoinette. you'll still be young. my mom is 66 and im turning 24, so she was in her 40's when they adopted me.

on the other hand. when hayleigh is 20, i will be like in my early 40's hehe.

 

[Antoinette]

yep... think about the positives.. when our children are grown we will still be young enough to live our lives but old enough to appreciate it LOL

 

[IADad]

I don't think there are any right or wrong answers. Based on what you've posted here the last couple of weeks it's obvious you're smart, caring and devoted young lady. Are you going to look back on this time and say "What if"" well, maybe, but I think it's always tempting to think things would have been better if we'd done something differently, and it really is pointless, the past is the past, all you can do is identify mistakes and try not to repeat them. I was 39 when my oldest was born, you think I have some thoughts about how things might have been different if...? You just have to focus on the future, keep dreams alive and keep going.

So, my thoughts on teen moms, I wish they would wait, and it's sad when there are teen moms, who really arent' ready to be or devoted to being moms at all., but teens moms can make just as great of moms as any.

 

[Jeremy+3]

We had our oldest at 19, however we had been trying to conceive for two years, married for three, had our own house and the funds available for just me to be working.

Anyone irresponsible enough to have a child when they cannot afford them, no housing etc are just as bad as each other, it doesn't really matter how old they are.

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

We had our oldest at 19, however we had been trying to conceive for two years, married for three, had our own house and the funds available for just me to be working.

Anyone irresponsible enough to have a child when they cannot afford them, no housing etc are just as bad as each other, it doesn't really matter how old they are.

owie jeremy! thats a hit below the belt i think.....

our daughter wasnt planned, and we had JUST bought a new house, then my husband almost died in a trucking accident, then i almost died after childbirth....we've had bad blow after bad blow....but we can still afford our daughter...it doesnt take having a million dollars in the bank to raise a child...as long as you watch ur pennies, any responsible person can raise a child.....lots of money to "afford" them or not

 

[Demona_Mommy91]

I Had my daughter when I was eighteen. I Found out I was pregnant with her at seventeen and I FREAKED OUT. I had no idea what to do. I didn't have a job, no car, I wasn't in school, I didn't have my own place, I had nothing for her and I really just didn't know what to do. But so far I'm doing pretty good, I have tons of support from my family along with her father's.

But I did the whole "partying" bit and I'll tell you what, If it hadn't of been for my fiance and our daughter i would be a homless meth addict.