I leave for work early in the morning (when it's dark), and get home when it's dark. I regret not being able to spend weekdays with our 22 month old girl, but my wife and I agreed that I should be the breadwinner in our early child rearing years. Most evenings I'm tired when I get home, but I insisted I want to take over and bathe our daughter, and handle her bedtime routine. I'm always worried that I will become the stranger to her that only appears on the weekends. As it is, she's more comfortable around Mommy, and on some days she just turns me away. This doesn't bother me; I don't get "hurt feelings" or anything; I know she's a toddler.
There are some nights though, like one this week where she gets so upset that she will cry and struggle intensely throughout the bedtime routine. Trying to get her diaper on is so difficult I need to forcefully pin her down while she's fighting me. It's almost as if she's being violated. This makes the job tougher, but I know I'm just getting her ready for bed. Amid the persistent struggle and wailing, at any time I can cry uncle and Mommy will take over- but so far I follow through, and she does finally calm down while reading her bedtime story. My question is- on nights like these, is my persistence a good thing, or could it be harmful to her development and/or her relationship with me?
There are some nights though, like one this week where she gets so upset that she will cry and struggle intensely throughout the bedtime routine. Trying to get her diaper on is so difficult I need to forcefully pin her down while she's fighting me. It's almost as if she's being violated. This makes the job tougher, but I know I'm just getting her ready for bed. Amid the persistent struggle and wailing, at any time I can cry uncle and Mommy will take over- but so far I follow through, and she does finally calm down while reading her bedtime story. My question is- on nights like these, is my persistence a good thing, or could it be harmful to her development and/or her relationship with me?
it's suprising how a child so little can be so strong sometimes isn't it? I think you'll find that it's nothing more than your daughter associating you getting her dressed with having to go to bed and I'm sure that she's getting lots of kisses and cuddles from you after!!!! As for harming her development/relationship with you, I think it would take a lot more than that! My nearly 3yo would not let dad do anything for him for the longest time without a screaming fit, now when dad's home, I'm pushed away with a "No, Daddy do it!", they're confusing little creatures lol.