Thought this was a brilliant story and want to share...

[cybele]

Azriel has a friend at high school named Lisa, she is very outgoing, VERY outspoken, will always be the first person to stand up for anyone. She also has down syndrome.

Anyway, it's school holidays here at the moment and a group of them went bowling, when they were there they were stuffing around a bit and Lisa startled another friend of theirs, James, as he was bowling and ruined his 'strike streak', so he threw a potato wedge at her. All of this was done in good jest and apparently they were all laughing. Then this woman came up to James and absolutely berated him for throwing the potato wedge at Lisa, saying that he should be ashamed of himself for 'abusing' a disabled girl who 'isn't capable of knowing better so she tolerates it'.
So Lisa walks up to the lady and says "Excuse me, why am I incapable of knowing how I should be treated?" and the lady doesn't answer, just apparently looks very awkward, so she continued "What do you think is more like abuse? Joking with friends or insulting someone while they are sitting there?".
The lady actually apologised to both of them.

Azriel finished up the story with "Yeah, so to sum up, never piss Lisa off".

 

[Xero]

Wow! People can REALLY be dumb. 0_o I mean who does that? She basically called her stupid and disabled - and right in front of her. Hope she's embarrassed for like, the rest of her life. So funny how Lisa told her off, I'm glad to hear that. Hopefully the negative comments don't stay with her long. She sounds freakin awesome.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Well, to some people joking can feel like bullying, or fun look like danger. I wouldn't blame that woman, she didn't know what was going on

 

[akmom]

Down Syndrome comes with such a range of abilities. My late aunt had Down Syndrome and she would not have been able to articulate herself that way. She probably would not have had any social encounter like the one you described. If someone threw a potato wedge at her, she would not have taken it in jest. I think most people's experience with Down Syndrome falls on the less functional end of the spectrum, so what she observed did seem like abuse. It could be frustrating to live in a world where your condition leads people to make inaccurate assumptions about your abilities. I mean, there are people with Down Syndrome who go to college, but the vast majority do require some degree of lifelong assistance. Great story, but I wouldn't demonize the woman. She didn't know, and was surely doing what she felt was right... standing up for someone who she thought couldn't do it for herself, and then having the decency to apologize when she was wrong.

 

[cybele]

I think that's precisely why you don't but in, or if you believe that you do for some reason need to insert yourself into a situation, to actually scope it out first.

If you are observing a teenager with an obvious disability, who is out with friends the same age, who does not have a carer with her, you can already draw conclusions on her mental capacity based on that.
There would have been nothing stopping her from approaching Lisa and asking her if she were okay, or watching them closer for a while before reacting, but running over yelling and creating a public scene about someone's assumed incapability is NEVER okay.

 

[Xero]

I see what you guys mean, BUT I think that even with good intentions, one should try to be <I>complete sure </I>about a situation before butting in and making a scene about it. And if you're not sure, but you still feel compelled to do something, there are better, more acceptable ways to go about it. As Cybele mentioned, she could have asked Lisa about it, or even probably just observed the situation a little longer and known how things really were.

Instead, she saw a down syndrome face, decided what level of mentally disabled Lisa was, and yelled at one of her friends for playing with her (and even worse, actually used words like "disabled" and "incapable of knowing better" to describe Lisa right in front of her - that's not okay with me no matter what her level of comprehension actually was). based on her own, personal, uneducated assumptions.

Yes, at least she apologized. I imagine she even had good intentions. She should obviously work on thinking before she speaks, though. And I think she deserved the backlash. I don't feel bad for her.

 

[pwsowner]

I applaud what she meant to do, but yes, she should have looked the case over a bit first, or at least approached it a little more gently. I've known a few people with various mental and physical limits and can see that most of the general population doesn't really know how to handle things with them.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Yes, a do-gooder made a complete fool of herself.
But... If you see a situation that looks like something very wrong to you, how long do you stand observing?

I witnessed a situation where an elderly disabled woman was trying to get out of a car. Somebody rushed to help her, and guess the woman's reaction...
"Aaaaargh get off me you stupid cow, i can get out of a car MYSELF!!!"
Oh well...
That's a thing with disabled people, you can't know when they need your help and when they take it as an insult.
And with teenagers... Let's be honest... The way they communicate with each other, can sometimes be truly shocking to an older generation.

 

[cybele]

See, that sounds wrong to me too, if the lady had to say "get off me" then that is VERY wrong. You ask permission before touching someone. That's another example where "Excuse me, do you need help?" is much better.

Best way to find out if someone needs help is to ask.

 

[Xero]

Yeah, I would be the first to help someone out of a car if they needed a hand, but I would never touch someone without asking first lol. Like Cybele said, "excuse me, do you need help?" "Do you need a hand?" etc. can avoid so many awkward situations haha.

 

[akmom]

I suppose that is probably pretty sage advice, unless you believe you are witnessing actual violence. But like Tabasco said, sometimes teen behavior is shocking to older adults!

 

[MamaRuthie]

i think its really weird to approach someone like that