I'm definitely a fan of co-sleeping, and I do it with my kids. Well, ODS decided on his own at around 3 years old that he wanted to sleep in his own bed, so not so much him anymore unless he's sick or scared then sometimes he'll show up.
YDS is obviously still co-sleeping and will continue until he is ready to sleep in his own bed as well.
However, let me explain to you the difference between safe co-sleeping and bed sharing. Bed sharing has risks associated with it such as suffocation and entrapment etc, and you hear about accidents and whatnot due to this. Although let me clarify that most of these accidents happen when certain factors are involved - such as sleeping with baby on something other than the bed ie the couch or a recliner, being under the influence of anything ie drugs, alcohol, or cigerettes (smoking cigarettes cause a deeper, less aware sleep or so they say), using excessive pillows and blankets, or being very overweight (I'm not descriminating, they're just facts I didn't make up). A lot of times if you read one of those stories, at least one of these factors come into play. I was just watching a show the other day (idk Maury or something) with an overweight woman that was drunk sleeping on the couch with her baby and smothered him... Its funny (but not) that most of the factors I described came into play there. But yeah. So we all know what bedsharing is, obviously its having baby in bed with you, next to you, on you, whatever.
And THEN there is SAFE co-sleeping, which is actually highly reccomended by the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics -http://www.aap.org/). This is what I do with my YDS (though I am guilty of bedsharing with my ODS and on occasion with YDS, mainly I safely co-sleep). The main thing about safe co-sleeping is using the proper co-sleeping
equipment. I use an Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper (highly recommended by the AAP, Dr. Sears and more):
(not my exact one but you get it - mine's green haha)
And when I bed share, I do that safely as well with a snuggle nest:
The snuggle nest is pretty self explanatory, but the co-sleeper basically hooks up securely to the side of my bed and basically becomes a slightly lower PART of my bed, yet seperate. He's always right next to me, I can reach him or touch him at any time with no effort, and to him he's in bed with me. Its a really great little contraption.
Don't get me wrong though, like I said I am guilty of occasionally bedsharing unsafely, like if he needs to be cuddled or nursed back to sleep, I will just sleep holding him. However, I personally know myself and I would never do it intoxicated, I don't smoke, I'm not overweight (well I could stand to lose a few lol but you know), and all that jazz. I think before people co-sleep that they should know their facts and research it deeply and they should know THEMSELVES because I know myself personally that everything wakes me up. Baby sneezes and I'm awake looking at him. He never cries at night, I know he needs to eat when he starts squirming and going "eh eh eh" (no screaming baby in the middle of the night waiting for me to get to his room), we both sleep GREAT and are happy and comfortable, and I know my baby feels secure as do I.
When he is older, whenever he is too big for the co-sleeper (probably a little before or around a year old) then he will bedshare. At that point, most of the bedsharing risks like suffocation and other types of SIDS are lowered significantly (all of those risks are much lower at 6 months plus and become almost nonexistant as they get older from there, mostly due to increased strength and mobility). At that point it is fairly safe to bedshare as long as you are being safe about it, following along with those factors explained above, and again using proper equipment such as bed rails:
(not my bed just an example)
It is safer for a baby to be in the same room with their parents. It is recommended by the AAP to keep baby in your room for at least the first 6 months. Where there have been a lot of bedsharing accidents, the deaths caused by infants being put to sleep in a crib in an entirely seperate room FAR outweigh them. That's why they call SIDS "crib death". I am a huge believer too not only because we've always been happier this way but also because I have seen opportunities for things to go so wrong if my kids had been in a seperate room. For instance, once when ODS was sleeping next to me in bed he was in the middle of a sound sleep and he puked out of nowhere, not spit up but PUKED. He was laying on his back (I'm also a fan of tummy sleeping, but that's a different topic for another day) and he completely choked on it, it went right down his throat and up his nose. Thankfully I was right next to him and I was able to snatch him up right away and turn him over and pat him etc to clear it out. It was AWFUL, it sounded like he was DROWNING. I sincerely believe that things could have been a lot worse if he was down the hall in a crib, I don't even know if it would have been a loud enough sound over the monitor for me to know something was wrong. All I could think was thank goodness I never listened to all those prudes talking down on me for letting baby sleep in my bed!! I am so happy to be able to see and hear every little thing my baby does at night - he is safe this way!! IMO!!
And I personally do not mind my children needing or wanting me to help them get to sleep. Its only natural in my opinion that babies do not know how to self soothe without help and they want to feel close and safe to mom when falling asleep. You can help them with it now and they do learn for themselves in good time, I promise! My four year old is proof of that. I held or rocked him until he was about 13 months old, and then we just layed next to him until he was about 2.5 and then just put him in our bed until we were ready to join him. Then when he was around three he got sick of us and decided he was a big boy and liked his big boy bed better.
As far as intimacy, that's completely possible as well! LO's co-sleeper has wheels and we silently pull up the side (it turns into a free standing bassinett) and gently roll it into his own room until we are ready to have him back. Easy peasy!
As for positive results that I have seen due to co-sleeping, well there are many. I feel as though I have a more confident, secure and content baby. He knows I'm always there and goes to sleep without a fight and wakes up to eat without histerics. He is almost sleeping through the night, usually a 6-7 hour stretch first, followed by another 4-5 hour stretch, with exceptions here and there, considering growth spurts and what have you. Just basically his sleeping habbits are amazing, and I never had to make him cry or anything to get him there. ODS is a very independent kid, sleeps in his own bed every night without any arguments or insecurities, and he has amazing sleep habbits as well. He's not clingy, I take him to school 3 days a week and I can barely get a hug and kiss out of him when I leave. He complains on days he doesn't get to go haha. I just think that co-sleeping is a big part of (not the sole reason but a big part) creating happy, healthy, confident, and secure independent kids. I know a lot of people will disagree with me and that's fine. To each their own. This is just what I believe in strongly for my own kids. I'm sure all the non-co-sleeping kids will grow up just fine and happy as well, so I'm not bashing. I just believe in my ways strongly.
One of the main things people need to realize about co-sleeping as far as the "risks" go are that the statistics are as many and actually higher of kids dying or getting injured in a crib in a seperate room than they are while co-sleeping. There is nothing more risk-taking about co-sleeping than crib sleeping. A lot of people have this misconception, but it simply isn't true.
So all in all, I believe in co-sleeping and I think it is best for babies if done safely and properly, and I personally feel it is also best for myself. If anyone is considering doing it I would only recommend they do so if they research it properly first, and it be sure to do it safely as often as possible. Also to KNOW themselves, and their family and whether or not it will work for them. I am aware that it cannot work for some people and I respect that.
Soooo sorry for the book.
This is one of my main topics of interest.
