Time out in their room, (And time out in general) what's you're take?...

[buddylovebabi]

Personally I would never put a kid in time out in their room. what is in their room? think about it, their toys, their familiar photo's on the walls, their comfy bed, their clothes and playthings. What would you do if you were confined to a room like that? Play of course! and if they do not play, do you want them to think of their nice safe room as a prison or a bad place? of course not, you want them to be able to sleep in it.

It's really confusing to me that people put their kids in time out in their own rooms. If I was confined to my room I'd just take out the things I had and keep myself occupied, it's not that hard for a kid at any age.

I am wondering if anyone does do this, and what your reasoning behind it is. Or what people's reasons for where they do timeout in general were.

 

[stjohnjulie]

I do it, and the reason why I do it, is isolation. My son wants to be with me, wants to engage me in whatever way he can. What I want, is for him to have some time to himself to regroup. He usually gets sent to his room because he has a poor attitude/anger out burst. I really don't care if he plays while in his room, I just want him to calm down and come out when he is and apologize. There have been times that he has gone in his room to stomp and throw things...obviously not good! So, if that happens, he has to sit in the middle of the floor, with nothing around him, and I leave the room. I never put a time limit on the time outs. They last for as long as it takes for him to settle down and have an attitude adjustment Could be 5 minutes, could be two hours...it's up to him. He's slowly learned that it's better to walk away than to engage when he's upset. A very important lesson as far as I'm concerned. People tend to do stupid stuff when they are full of anger.

 

[Xero]

First of all, I want to say that I think age has a lot to do with when to use this or not. It might be better for older kids to spend some alone time in their room rather than stand in a corner lol.

With Eli, he always sits in a certain chair in the livingroom for time outs. Not necessarily because I think he will play with the stuff in his room or whatever, but mainly because I don't want his room to be a taboo place, and create negative feelings about going to bed at night. I want his room to be a positive place, and bed time not to be dreaded or seen as a punishment etc.

The only time that he goes to his room for a negative reason is when he throwing a tantrum, or just in general yelling and crying for no good reason and refusing to stop/calm down when I ask him to. And at these times, he usually just throws himself dramatically onto his bed until he's done LOL, or sometimes he'll play with some toys that might be in there etc (all of his toys as a general rule are actually in his play room/area, but he does sometimes leave them on his bedroom floor after bringing them in there). I don't really care what he does, but he needs to be in his own room where his fit isn't affecting everyone else until he is in the proper condition to come out. It never takes long, and he always comes out all by himself when he is calmed down and ready.

But honestly, in general I think time out is a great parenting tool, although I have to say that I don't actually use it often at all. Rarely, maybe once every other week if that is my kid in time out for something. I wont say he's an angel, but redirection works perfectly for him most times and I don't ever put him in the chair on the first offense unless its a big deal so he just doesn't end up getting time out at all most of the time. As for going to his room over a tantrum, maybe once or twice a week lol he is an emotional kid.

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

I use the nose in the corner time out method. Works wonders, doesnt take long for her to calm down, because she always wants to be around me, and being in the corner is just not cool to her lol. Like Xero, the only time hayleigh is in her room for something negative is if shes having an absolute meltdown, then she lays on her bed and cries, and comes out when she has calmed down. Doesnt happen often with her lately, shes been doing really good

 

[gmamma]

I agree with most of what has been posted. I only send my kids to their rooms when they seem to be unable to behave around other people as they are expected. I don't care if they play in their rooms, it's the isolation that's important. If they can't play with each other nicely or want to throw a temper tantrum, they can go be by themself and cool off. I don't consider it a "time out" type of punishment. If I send them to take a "time out" as punishment, I send them to the corner or the wall. My time out time frames differ from alot of people i know. Most people that I am around basically follow the rule that one minute of time out for every year of their life. So, if they have a 7 year old, they are in time out for 7 minutes. My kids are too close in age to do that. My daughter wouldn't understand why she got punished more/longer than her brother. Especially if he started the argument or whatever caused the punishment. I use the same time for each of them...usually between 5 and 10 minutes depending on their behavior during the time out and the severity of what caused the punishment.

 

[Antoinette]

Felix has to sit in the corner. usually only for a couple of minutes. i usually sit him there for about 2 minutes (starting after he stops crying) then i go and ask him is he is ready to say sorry to mummy (or whoever) if he is then i give him a cuddle and he stands up and continues doing whatever he wants to. if he is not he sits for another couple of minutes and i ask him again. it can take 5 minutes or 1 hour but it does work.

i don't really send him to his room because it is hard enough getting him to bed at night i don't want to confuse things more with making it a negative place

 

[PennQuaker09]

I'm weak when it comes to discipline. Time out lasts like 2 minutes in our house, unless Nate is here. They know he doesn't play.

 

[Big_Sister]

I didn't do timeout, but your comands sound like I should try it.

 

[IADad]

I have kind of the same thought, I don't want to make their rooms into the proverbial prison cells. We rarely use timeout anymore, and when I do send either of them to their rooms, it's to have time to think things over and re-join us when they can be rational. It's remarkable how quickly a tantum stops when there's nobody around to hear it.

 

[twimomako]

I think it depends on the child's personality. My 5 yr old boy always always seeks attention from her big sister. If she's studying or playing dolls or watching TV, my boy goes to her and gets her things or hits her ... just to get her attention. So here's when I put him away for time out.. at the corner. But I always let him know why.

Here's something that really works for him, (my own version of time out, if this counts) but I have to make sure I use this only for worst occasions (coz it might lose its efficiency). I never talk to him and just ignore. This works so well that he'd realize what his fault was and he'll come to me, finally, with soft voice and say "Mommy, I'm sorry. I will not do it again".

 

[superman]

lol i agreee wiyth u dude. i always put james on the stairs. not that ive had to do that a lot but the few times i did the stairs worked out. lol like what can u do on the stairs?

 

[PennQuaker09]

I might try that one.

 

[Ariana]

I usually don't send older kids to their rooms. I stopped doing it at age 10. I only did it when my son was really angry, and he just needed to go calm down. It wasn't really punishment, just time in his own space to think about stuff and take a breather. I'm sure he had fun in there, but my intention wasn't to make him have a bad time, just to let him cool down.

 

[ponymom]

I agree with the other posters, it has to do with the kid. My 3 year old hates to be isolated in her room, even though that is where her toys are, because 1- she likes to be in control and making her stay in her room is definitely not in control and 2- she is extremely social and hates to be by herself. But my friend's daughter is the opposite, she has to punish by keeping the girl out of the room, because normally she'd just stay in her room all day long. It really depends on the kid.

 

[troy74]

Eye contact and coming down to level is so essential and simple , it works everytime for me