Tired...

[Antoinette]

i am just tired all the time lately, i have been for about a month now. i go to work tired. come home and just feel exhausted. it's all i can do to make Felix and Alegra dinner, bath them and put them to bed, extra bonding time just isn't happening because still at 2 i know if felix isn't in bed by 7 i wont be asleep till 1am.

our night is usually

5:30 pick kids up from daycare - go home
6:00 feed children
6:30 - bath Felix and Alegra
7:00 put Felix to bed
7:30 - start dinner for tomorrow night
7:33 - put felix back to bed
7:35 - put felix back to bed again
7: 40 - wash dishes
7:41 - put Felix back to bed
7:45 put Felix back to bed
8:00 - put Alegra to bed
8:01 put Felix back to bed
8:30 - get Felix out of Alegra's cot and put him back to bed
8:33 - find Felix in loungeroom, put him back to bed
8:40 - put Felix back to bed.

this goes on for as long as he can do it. i am never in bed till after midnight because it is so much work keeping him in his bed. he is still in a cot but he might as well not be for how much he climbs out. and Felix and Alegra share a room now and he just keeps her awake all night which is annoying because she is actually an excellent sleeper.

but with all of this i am just so tired i don't know what to do... arrrg i hate single parenthood

 

[Dadu2004]

Sounds to me like you need a bit of a breather or some help. Can your parents or a friend help you out a bit? Maybe even watch the kids and let you get away for a couple of days? You just have a ton on your plate and you're getting burnt out.

 

[Jeremy+3]

Why don't you take Felix out of his cot, if he is climbing out of his cot he may fall and hurt himself, you could put Alegra in a different room as well so he doesn't wake her, she is only 8 months so really she should be in your room. Also I would keep them apart especially as he is climbing into Alegra's cot, Felix wont realise how dangerous that is, and he is too young where telling him will stop him doing it.

When you give Felix and Alegra a bath is play involved, do they have any relaxation time before bed, or is a case of eat, have a bath and bed? If so I would make more time to relaxation (they wont release melatonin properly unless in a dimmed room).

I would also see what happens if you either feed the children earlier, or put Felix to bed later, by the time he has gone to bed some of his digested food is being absorbed, so he is going to be lively and unable to sleep.

 

[Xero]

I think the safety recommendations on pretty much all cribs (is that what a cot is?) is to take the kid out of the crib, or take the side down once they are able to climb out of it. Probably cause they can hurt themselves.

I don't know, if it were me I would probably have one of them in my room with me. I can't decide which though lol, maybe Allegra because she is so young, but maybe Felix because he is such a stinker lol. It seems kind of overly chaotic with them both sleeping in the same room. But I realize that having a kid in your room might not work out for you. Just what I would do.

I'm sorry Felix is still giving you so much trouble going to sleep at night! You must be so tired all the time. There have been times where Eli would try getting out of bed and causing trouble once he stopped co-sleeping (with co-sleeping, you don't really have that problem), and I would always have to go back to laying down with him at night to make sure he went to sleep and didn't get up and try to be a stinker lol. When I'm in there with him, he doesn't have the opportunity to get up or get into stuff because I've always got my eyes on him so he knows he can't. I guess other than that I unfortunately don't have much advice to offer because co-sleeping (and variations of it, such as laying down with him till he is asleep) is the only thing that I know to use to solve my kid's sleep problems lol. Maybe some non-co-sleepers can offer some better advice? I know most people end up just doing what you're doing, just keep putting them back in bed over and over if they get up. I can't last doing that though! lol I just want him ASLEEP. xD

Did you ever try putting a baby gate in front of his bedroom door to at least keep him from coming out of his room? Still only kind of halfway solves the problem, but keeping him in his room is one step closer to keeping him in his bed right? lol Of course then you still have to worry about him bugging Allegra. How on earth does he get all the way up into her crib?? He must be a little acrobatic monkey haha.

I agree with Jeremy too, eating an hour before bed could be part of the problem. I know there's almost no way for you to change that part of your schedule, but he is still probably running off of all the energy he got from eating dinner at that point. Whenever Eli eats a lot shortly before bed, he is SO much harder to get to sleep. He just has all this energy and isn't sleepy at all because his body is running off of the food, you know? Relaxation might be good too, but I don't see how you could fit that into the schedule either. :/

Good luck I hope some more restful nights are ahead of you!!

 

[Jeremy+3]

If you don't have a spare gate or if he could climb over one (all ours could at that age), you could sit outside of his room, or just make sure you can see his door so that the moment he comes out you can put him back to bed before he has the chance to turn it into a game.

Food is so important isn't it Xero, with our younger children they cannot eat for two hours before bed otherwise it is almost guaranteed that they will not sleep properly. It is recommended that you wait for two hours before attempting to go to bed after eating, due to the high energy issue and because sleeping on a very full stomach can cause heart burn, which again, could be keeping him awake.

Plus then most people drink when they eat, or afterwards, so they're more likely to need the toilet in bed, which is a disturbance.

 

[Xero]

Yep, we try not to have Eli eating anything too soon before bed or we know he'll have too much energy. He does have a cup of milk before bed though. I try not to eat right before bed either, I'm pretty sure it gives me crazy dreams lol.

Good point, I suppose if he can climb up a crib, then he can probably climb over a baby gate lol. Well, they do make tall gates just for that purpose, and maybe that would work better?

 

[Antoinette]

the gate in your picture, felix can climb out of. they have the big ones at his day care. he is actually a monkey.

separate rooms is not an option unless one of them is in my room or lounge room i only have a 2 bedroom house... single teen mother remember jeremy?

Alegra is not 8 months she is nearly 11 months i just haven't changed the thing in a while..

yeah, a cot and a crib are the same thing lol and he climbs in and out and in and out all night i have tried putting him in my room but he just gets out of his cot and bounces on my bed.

Alegra in my room would probably work but it wouldn't help the felix problem because seriously he gets out of his room and wanders the whole house while i sleep i just am at my wits end with him.

i feel exhausted all the time and i am running out of things to do

 

[priyamodhvadia]

i'm tired too. kids are a blessing but hard work!

 

[Jeremy+3]

I didn't even notice her birth date next to her age until I read your reply and looked at it again, now I do I see she has the same birthday as my mam.

Have you tried the trick of putting him in an all in one that doesn't have grips on his feet, with some children that makes it harder to climb as they can't grip with their toes.

Does he nap during the day much? If he does you could request that he is not to nap as much at day care to see if that makes a difference.

Do his sleep patterns effect him, e.g. is he aggravated, aggression or do his moods change all at when he has had a fairly sleepless night.

 

[Incogneato]

In addition to what was already suggested, which was make sure no food is fed immediately before bed time, and more careful with nap times, I might suggest staying in the room with Felix for a short while until you're sure they are asleep. If you're in the room (not engaging in activity, but simply to wait it out until they fall asleep), perhaps there would be less of the climbing/getting out of bed issue.

Just food for thought.

 

[Xero]

Omg he can climb those ones too!!! LOL wow!! He's got talent!

Yeah that's another thought, does he take a nap during the day? A lot of people would disagree with this, but Eli stopped napping all together at about that age and it made night time much more peaceful. So if he does nap, maybe you can ask whoever watches him not to let him nap anymore? I bet that would help things out. Sounds like he has waaay too much energy at night. :/

And how about this set up, if you put Alegra in your room, and keep Felix in the other room, and you put a monitor in there (for safety) and got one of those baby proof things for the door knob to keep him from opening it? They make a couple different kinds I think. I can imagine how frustrating it would be for him to be running all around night while you try to sleep.

 

[IADad]

I like that idea Xero, so much better than the only thing I had to offer which is we laid down with our kids at that age, which is nice bonding time, but it creates a situation where the kid doesn't develop any sense of going to be on their own, and you have a realy problem years later whne they still want that. This sets the stage for "you're going tto your room to sleep and that's that." Now, I wonder what will happen when he discovers he can't open the door? Does he start to scream? cry? and at what point does she intervene and how long to let him CIO? I imagine if it's done rigidly early, that it only last a day or two and as long as it's done with kindness, it's not too truamatic....

tough buggers these little ones.

 

[Xero]

Oh I know, there is a lot of factors there. :/ I wouldn't recommend letting him scream and cry, but if he's the type to realize he can't get out and then go back to bed then it might work nicely LOL. I just get worried because if he gets out and runs around the house while she is asleep, it could be dangerous. You never know what kids will touch/eat/get into when you're not looking. o__o

My neighbor slept through his kid crawling out of his crib the other day and the kid flooded the entire apartment. :O Don't know how he managed to sleep through that (idiot) but you never know. :/

 

[Antoinette]

i worry about what felix can do all the time, i never use to close his door but i have started. the first time i did it he didn't even cry, i never woke up, he pushed my reading chair ( i have a chair i sit on when i read to him at night) up to the door and opened it.. he is really clever. i have key locks on the windows just in case... he might actually be a criminal mastermind in the making lol.

but if he cant get out i don't know if he would climb back into his cot or if he would scream, i guess i could try it.

he doesn't really nap in the day, he only does if he is particularly tired. it is just as hard to get him to nap as it is to get him to sleep. i cant believe i complained about bed time back before he could walk. it is impossible now..

 

[Xero]

Wow, its like this kid just doesn't need to sleep LOL.

 

[Incogneato]

If so, I'm jealous of that ability. I could get so much more done!

 

[Antoinette]

maybe he is actually a vampire lol... it would explain his insomnia.

 

[superrod2010]

This is a tough one. It was one of the hardest things I have been through as a parent of young ones. (tougher stuff with teens...)

When this happened at our house we simply turned the doorknob around and locked them in. I stood right at the door and told them (had to do it with both our young ones at one point) to get back in bed and tomorrow I would unlock the door. I don't think it is a good idea long term or even overnight in case of emergency but it only really took one night and a good cry (the hard part) and then the threat was all that was needed to keep them in bed. If you don't have a lock on the door then try just standing there and holding the handle. I did that too. It did work for us and after lots of crying one or two nights they stayed in bed.

 

[Antoinette]

i don't really agree with controlled crying though. but i guess i am running out of options.

i am thinking about trying co-sleeping but i am worried that when it comes time to put him in his own bed we will go through this all over again..

what do you think Xero? your the co-sleeping expert here lol

 

[superrod2010]

I know you asked Xero but I want to put in my thoughts as well. The crying thing is one I would do if you feel like there just isn't another option to get him to obey. It isn't the easiest thing though when you love your kids which I hope would always be the case.

My wife slept with her daughter all the time before we got married. When we married she was 5 years old and it was a bit of a rude awakening for her to not be able to sleep with her mom now but after a couple rough weeks she was OK with it.

Either way you go, they will get over it. Just make sure you use love with everything you do. I will say I stayed up many a night just holding a child willing to cuddle because those opportunities don't last forever.