I feel for you. My wife's parents watch our 1-year-old daughter during the week while we work full-time. But even with four caregivers, somehow my wife and I only get a couple of hours of free time in a week. She's a pretty easy kid too, so I don't know.
Tired...
- Thread starter Antoinette
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I like most of the suggestions, one option, which would be temporary is to remove anything in his room that could be used to help him escape or that he could hurt himself on,. I know that sounds like a pain and I am anti-CIO but it sounds like he has learned some really bad...really bad habits and it may be time to step outside the box to try and fix it.
Once everything is removed from his room and you feel he will be safe put one of those door things Zero mentioned on his door. Make sure you have an extra pillow and blanket on the floor so when he does climb out and realize he can't get out of the room he has something else to sleep with.
Use a monitor so you can at least hear him, if he starts crying wait a few minutes go in and put him back to bed (not talking nothing) close the door and repeat if needed. Each time extending how long before you go back in. It's gonna take some work so try to start it on the days you have off so that way when you do go back to work the harder night are already over.
It will not be easy, but like I said I think you need to go a little more drastic.
Once everything is removed from his room and you feel he will be safe put one of those door things Zero mentioned on his door. Make sure you have an extra pillow and blanket on the floor so when he does climb out and realize he can't get out of the room he has something else to sleep with.
Use a monitor so you can at least hear him, if he starts crying wait a few minutes go in and put him back to bed (not talking nothing) close the door and repeat if needed. Each time extending how long before you go back in. It's gonna take some work so try to start it on the days you have off so that way when you do go back to work the harder night are already over.
It will not be easy, but like I said I think you need to go a little more drastic.
I like the suggestion from mom2many and I agree it is not easy. No talking and repeatedly putting him back in bed will help him get the picture.
No way around the hard part though. It is not easy to raise kids. I don't remember my younger years anymore but I sure have more respect for my parents now that I am one.
No way around the hard part though. It is not easy to raise kids. I don't remember my younger years anymore but I sure have more respect for my parents now that I am one.
okay i give up i m trying what m2m said. i have moved Alegra into my room and now all that is in is room is a baby monitor, his cot and blankets on the floor (just in case) everything he can climb on is gone and i am closing the door at night. i have done it for the last two nights and i hate it. i leave him for 5 minutes and if he doesn't stop i go in and put him back to bed and leave then when i hear him get to his door and cry i wait 6 minutes. eventually he is falling asleep but i feel like i am failing him.
i feel like he needs something i am not providing and he is just giving up and thinking i don't love him enough to give him what he needs. its so hard not to run and give him a cuddle and tell him everything is okay
i feel like he needs something i am not providing and he is just giving up and thinking i don't love him enough to give him what he needs. its so hard not to run and give him a cuddle and tell him everything is okay
ohh, it's tough, but you know you love him and just keep re-inofrcing that as you leave, that you love him soo much that you want him to get a good nights sleep so he can have more fun tomorrow. I fully believe you've gone through the worst of it. Don't give up now.
Also, does his cot convert, or can you get him a bigger boy bed? Maybe atttaching something special as a reward for going to bed and going to sleep like a big boy would be something positive. We felt our kids were rolling into crip sides and waking themselves up so we moved them to big beds, with removeable side rails at age 1. I don't know that it was any better, but it allowed us to get rid of the crib.
Also, does his cot convert, or can you get him a bigger boy bed? Maybe atttaching something special as a reward for going to bed and going to sleep like a big boy would be something positive. We felt our kids were rolling into crip sides and waking themselves up so we moved them to big beds, with removeable side rails at age 1. I don't know that it was any better, but it allowed us to get rid of the crib.
I agree. You know you love him and he will know it as you show it each day but he has to learn. It is very hard to do as a parent but he will not hate you for it. remember to show the love as often as you can but be firm at that bed time during training.
You will make it. Don't despair. You will get through it and this will pass.
You will make it. Don't despair. You will get through it and this will pass.
yes, well i have tried everything else, and i just have no idea what else to do so as much as it kills me this is all i am left with, i hate leaving him to cry at night though i never thought i would be a control crying parent but here i am doing it.
Alegra has been an angel. she has adjusted to the change perfectly and will sleep till about 8am every morning... thank god, i couldn't imagine having two that wouldn't sleep
Alegra has been an angel. she has adjusted to the change perfectly and will sleep till about 8am every morning... thank god, i couldn't imagine having two that wouldn't sleep
It will be okay, especially as he is old enough that you can tell the difference between crying for something e.g. he is poorly or hurt himself, compared to the 'i'm not impressed crying'
I'm sorry it's so hard! I would have never suggested it if I didn't feel that it is something both of you needed to do. While it isn't uncommon for a little one of his age to still wake once or twice, the level of his issue's is strong enough that it was time to try something different. I hope it's getting better now that you have had a few nights under your belt. Momma's are not a lot of good to their little ones if they are constantly walking around like a half zombie. I remember how hard it was to be a single momma of 2 little ones under the age of 2 (mine are/were 11 months apart) but my MIL (hubby and I were sperated and he was outta the pic) was really good about stepping in and helping when she started to see me unravel. I did do a slight variation to what I mentioned to you, and it helped a lot with my sanity.
Perhaps the exhaustion is as much to do with the struggle of having an ideal (getting Felix to bed by 7.30pm) and the reality (he's in bed by 8.40pm) That's over an hour of struggle. Would it serve you both to simply lie still, read stories and snuggle for an hour? If you are relaxed perhaps he'll pick up some of the vibe. Just a suggestion.
I like that idea of relaxing before bedtime. i think we have finally accepted that and we spend about an hour each night at least reading books and singing songs to the kids before bed. They crave and love that attention and that time with us.
My very wise sister in law told me once "never say never" because you just don't know what you will have to do as a parent.Antoinette said: