What should I do...help and advise...

[Seren2010]

Ok I'll start from the beginning.
I met a woman 9 years ago and had a one night stand..please don't judge yet.
I always said I wanted to be involved in the baby's life. We had a little boy Dennis, she let me see him for a few months then stopped it for. No reason at all.
Took in till he was 1 till I started to see him again. She let me see him on and off as a baby sitter till she stopped it again. I wet through the courts for 2 1/2 years but she never turned up once. Cost e a fortune

I met a girl in Scotland moved up there and after a while we had a little girl. Three weeks before she was born I had a letter through the door saying Dennis had been taken off the mother.

She turned out to be a ex heroine abuser and was addicted to Coke and speed. She had another child and was born with speed in his system. She also has a narcissistic personality disorder. ( I'm going to fast forward now sorry)

After going for full custody for my boy during this time my relationship with my girls mother broke down through all the stress. So I took the option of stopping going for full custody and allow him to live with his nan. In the hope that i could save the relationship and didn't think it would be fair on him to uproot him and move him 500 miles away and into a relationship that looked like ending.

Anyway we broke up I tried staying in Scotland but with everything that had happened I went back home to be with my friends and family. I see my girl on Skype all the time and Tavel up all the time, me and the ex get on fine.

I have been seeing my boy and we get on great he had been living with his nan who has guardianship over him.. The social was involved monitoring his progress with the mothers side of the family.. They have never wanted me involved and are aggressive towards me and as time has gone on.

My contact order is based on me and the nan agreeing to the days but it could be up to a month till he stays over. So I'm going back to court to change the contact order.

Now I get to the problem I have found out that as soon as the social was out of everything he is living at his mums again.. I have contacted the social and they said its nothing they can do unless harm comes to him.

I have spoken to my solicitor and she said we can go for residence and have him live with me..

Should I do it and how likely would it be that I would win?

 

[Seren2010]

Must add 2 pshycology doctors said that she should never have the kids again...I mentioned that to the social and they said "I didn't know that"

 

[bssage]

I dont feel I have much to offer. Though you dont mention the country you live. I am assuming its not the US. So a lot of us just wont know the system there.

My best advice is two fold. First Use some form of birth control until your actually married or ready to be a family with someone.

The second is make a paper trail. When possible use Email. Always introduce your self if you need to solicit names and titles. record dates names ect. I dont think this advice is specific to your residence.

A guess: If you want to apeal for custody. Work toward that end. Establish good work histories. Prepare a good safe home. Have plans in mind for education, child care ect ect ect.

I think the "burden of proof" typically is on the dad. A mother has to be proven "unfit" to limit custody. Where a man just has to be a man. So prepare to prove that. No "he said: she said" have names dates and written records.

Good luck.

 

[CeenRodriguez]

If you really wanted to have a full custody of your son, the first thing that you have to consider is to make sure as well that you are capable for that. Assess yourself if you are willing enough and financially, emotionally ready to take your son's custody. Maybe the mother of your child has it's own dilemmas and troubles as well. But you're not in control with that. Settle first your own problems, change for the better if you think there is something to change in yourself and life in general. Then if you are ready, you surely have a great chance to have your son's full custody. He deserves a good guardian and a responsible father out of you. Good luck and let's just hope for the best!