When to intervene?...

[jenhaspeace]

My daughter is 7 in second grade. She has a friend at school who is also in her dance class. The friend is very nice at dance class and wants to come over for a play date or a sleep over but at school my daughter says she won't let her play with her and her other friends. I suggested she ask some of the other kids to play but she says she doesn't like to play with them and only wants to play with this girl. Is this something I should just let her work out? Or should I mention it to the teacher or the girls mother? Or should I try to schedule play dates with some of the other kids? Not sure when I am to intervene if someone is being mean at school?

 

[artmom]

It sounds like they are still good friends, but this other girl may want to spend time with her school friends at school and it may be the only time she gets to play with them. If there is no major conflict happening at school then I don't think it's necessary to bring it to the teachers attention but it may be a good idea to talk to the teacher about how your daughter is interacting with the other kids and vice versa.
I don't think it's good or necessary for you to set up a play date or intervene. Kids have to learn how to sort out their social issues themselves. But you can be there to guide them and give them advice when they ask for it. I think you should try to talk to your daughter about respecting boundaries and the benefits of giving herself some space, too. Hanging out with friends is fun. Having some alone time is fun and liberating, too.