when were you 'done'?...

[alter ego]

Ive just birthed our 7th child, and I really dont feel 'done'
I always thought Id be finished by now, but I really want another 1-2 babies. Theres no reason why not (we have the space in the house, have a 12 seater van, and money isnt an issue) but part of me feels that we 'shouldnt' have more children, because of others opinions.

How did you know that your family was complete?

 

[Shaun Austin]

To be honest I think its a personal thing I mean when me and Charlotte (my wife) got married we had this dream of having lots of kids. I myself come from a big family which me and my twin brother Jake were adopted into. Our adoptive parents had 4 of their own kids four adopted kids and often had two or three foster kids. In my real family my mum had three of us with my dad, my sister with her second husband then more kids with her third husband. My wife had grown up in a 'nuclear family' you know mum, dad, son, daughter. She had always wanted more siblings so our kids would undoubtedly be abundant in number. However after Maddie was born we decided that because of how stressful Maddie's birth had been that we didn't want anymore. Both our older boys had been born early, and maddie had also come early (born through a c-section at 32 weeks) However it seems that kids are our thing as Lottie is now 8 weeks pregnant with baby number 5. I think its up to you at the end of the day, if you have the material means to raise more kids, and the physical ablity to look after so many you should go for it.
Hope this helps
all the best Shaun, Lottie
and family

 

[mom2many]

I knew when there was a pregnancy scare and I was beyond relieved. It's not having more kids that I have a problem with, it's being pregnant.

 

[Incogneato]

I would agree with the stress of the pregnancy/birth part is when I knew I was done. My wife's water broke at 32 wks, we managed to stave off labor for 2 weeks and he was born at almost 34wks. Between that and the NICU, the the normal stresses/adjustment of your first child.. I knew I didn't want to chance repeating it.

 

[cybele]

I knew that I was done after 2.

Clearly that meant nothing.

I think it's one of those things where you can only take it as it comes, what happens happens.

If it's the judgement that it bothering you though, maybe you should take a little time to think about why other people's thoughts on your family are coming before your own wants?

 

[akmom]

I have always had my heart set on four, but definitely wanted at least two. At this point, I have three, and I feel like our family is complete. But I would like one more in a few years. If that doesn't work out, that's okay. I know some people are truly devastated if they cannot reach their desired number, but I'm not in that boat.

I think you need to look at the reasons behind others' opinions and decide if they are important to you. If it's because they don't like kids, then it doesn't matter, because clearly you do. If it's because they feel you can't give the proper attention to each one, and you also feel that is a challenge, then it's worth mulling. I often hear about the world being too populated, and frankly that has never been very compelling to me, so I won't be limiting my family size over that. But if I was having trouble putting food on my own table, that would.

 

[Antoinette]

i have always wanted three, now i have three i don't know i may have another one. i feel almost too young to be 'done' i will be 40 when my youngest child is 20.. but i will give my body some time to recover from this one before i even start to think about doing it all over again.

 

[yunihara]

It seems like we always felt done after a new birth, but then when pregnancy happens again, we get all excited over again haha. I came from a culture that encouraged small families, and my wife is from a one-child-per-family culture, so it felt strange to have many at first, but it fits us!

If you have the resources, desire, time and love to have many children, then other people's opinions don't matter, IMHO. I am a firm believer in reproductive rights, so if you want to have children, then that is your right! Do what feels right for you

 

[Testing]

Ive just birthed our 7th child, and I really dont feel 'done'
I always thought Id be finished by now, but I really want another 1-2 babies. Theres no reason why not (we have the space in the house, have a 12 seater van, and money isnt an issue) but part of me feels that we 'shouldnt' have more children, because of others opinions.

How did you know that your family was complete?

Who cares what others think? If you can care for them, have them!

Love that "professional people grower" signature.