Why would a 14 year old boy want to hang out with a 16 year old girl?...

[LookUp]

I recently met this friend of my Son's, she's a 16 year old girl. Tall, slender, long black hair.

I just don't know if I should be worried about this? I mean, wouldn't he prefer to hang out with boys his own age?

I just really don't know how to act about this, could someone give me some tips?

 

[TabascoNatalie]

is she a friend or a girlfriend?

 

[AmyBelle]

Bluntest thing I have said/will ever say on this forum:

To get laid?

 

[Father_0f_7]

ya know, that's what I was thinking. But we dont know alot about this kid. Why does it matter? She's two years older than him...not a big deal. If it was 5 or 10 years I would worry more.

By the way, 14 year old girls put out too, he wouldnt have to go to a 16 year old.

 

[fallon]

why would you be worried?

 

[AmyBelle]

By the way, 14 year old girls put out too, he wouldnt have to go to a 16 year old.

Suppose it depends on how pretty she is...

 

[Rosa]

My step-son is thirteen and has friends at school who are both older and younger than he is, I don't see an issue or problem with it. Just inform them if they do anything sexual they are breaking the law.

 

[IADad]

How to act about this? I guess I'm not sure what you expect? Do you expect him to ever want to date? Do you expect him to ever want a female friend? Has he never had a female friend before?

Is your issue that she's 16, or that she's a girl? (or is it the lethal combination?)

I don't know that kids differentiate on age that much. My 7yo son has a friend who's a girl and will be 9 this weekend. He also has friends who are 8 or 9 and friends his own age. He also recently had a play-date with the 9 yo's 5 yo sister, they all go to daycare together, they're all friends it's no big deal and age isn't an issue. Now, I realize as he moves toward Jr High that big melting pot of kids is going to starting "moving to opposite sides of the gym floor for the dance" but I don't think he'll end up quiting "friends who are girls" cold turkey. (or am I being naive?)

 

[Rosa]

IADad your son having female friends will always be a good thing, he'll know how evil we are so hopefully he'll delay going out with us!

 

[IADad]

IADad your son having female friends will always be a good thing, he'll know how evil we are so hopefully he'll delay going out with us!

or he'll be gay...LOL He still likes "doing" mom's harir and wearing her shoes sometimes....(we wonder about him) but he also loves football...so, whatever will be...as long as he's happy and safe.

 

[Father_0f_7]

or he'll be gay...LOL He still likes "doing" mom's harir and wearing her shoes sometimes....(we wonder about him) but he also loves football...so, whatever will be...as long as he's happy and safe.

Ha, Dane was like that for a long time (I mean like, up until 10/11 years old) It was hilarious. People would come up to my wife and be like "who did your hair" and my son would go "ME!" then they would just walk away lol. Then when he was 11 he discovered girls and football, and his entire life changed.

 

[Rosa]

or he'll be gay...LOL He still likes "doing" mom's harir and wearing her shoes sometimes....(we wonder about him) but he also loves football...so, whatever will be...as long as he's happy and safe.

Both my siblings are gay, my parents were chuffed they only had to worry about only one of us having an unexpected pregnancy

 

[SheeveRhimi]

Hi AllAppologies if this is OT but Can anyone tell me a good way to display this website in another language?Thanks, SheeveRhimi

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[Father_0f_7]

Rhimi...you only have to post that question ONE time. someone will see it.

 

[Jayce]

I recently met this friend of my Son's, she's a 16 year old girl. Tall, slender, long black hair.

I just don't know if I should be worried about this? I mean, wouldn't he prefer to hang out with boys his own age?

I just really don't know how to act about this, could someone give me some tips?

If they are platonic friends, there is no problem. It's great! I see no problem if kids of different ages spending time together. I agree though, if it were 5 years difference that would be a problem.

To the bigger question though? It is a great gift for teens to be taught not to date at all until they are 19 years old. There are kids who do become high school sweet-hearts and eventually marry, but if they connect deeply in high school, they can continue that after grad. Kids stand so much to loose by getting immersed in intimate relationships at this vulnerable time.

This is tough to do of the idea has not been planted young. My humble opinion.


Jayce

 

[Aunt]

whether it is because he has a crush on her or otherwise does it matter? I wouldnt worry too much

 

[Father_0f_7]

Jayce is right...In fact my wife and I were high school sweethearts and we've been married 20 years.

Age is no big deal. My daughter Megan just turned 22 and her husband is 26. I will admit I was a little worried aoubt it at first but only because she was 19 and he was 23, but we soon realized there was nothing to worry about.

 

[IADad]

Jayce, I think your suggestion is on the spot. I would change mine a little depending on what you mean by "date." I plan to encourage my boys to date lots of grils (or boys, I guess, if the need arises...)
but not have boyfriend girlfriend relationships. I think if dating is taught in an upfront, you date to get to know people and have fun with your friends, there is time to settle down and form relationships later. Which is not to say I want them to use women, I expect them to be honest and respectful with whomever they date. I agree that kids get too attached too early. It's what they see on TV, in the movies, that you really are someone when you have someone....and on the filp side all the sadness attached to when a relationship ends...

 

[Rosa]

I don't get the difference between dating someone and being some ones boyfriend/girlfriend, what is the difference? I have never seen the two words used with a different meaning.

 

[IADad]

and Rosa and Fo6 thanks. I don't want to be homophobic about it. I figure he's going to be whoever he is going to be, it's not like we're dressing him in dresses and toe shoes trying to make him gay or giving him guns and making him play football to make him not gay. My only concern about IF he turns out to be gay, is I don't want him to be hurt by a bullying and soemtimes hateful world, and I want to be really careful, because while we live in a county with one of the highest rates of issuance for Marriage certificates for gay couples (yes, I'ts leagl here, and this is a very liberal county) he also goes to a Catholic school, so I can see the potential that there may be some individuals who may not be as understanding as we would, and it only takes one bad incident...