Your new vocabulary...

[Incogneato]

So after seeing the title of Antoinette's thread it made me chuckle, but then also pause to think. Since I'm going to be a new dad soon, I've definitely got to clean up my choice of words, which brings me to my question.

What funny, unique, or clever words do you use around your children as substitutes for four letter words or in reference to bodily functions?

 

[IADad]

Personally I found it best to eliminate them from my speech altogether (well, pretty much) because even if you use replacement words you're eventually teaching the meaning of the words they replace...wow, that was really unclear...I mean that everytime you hear "freakin" you think of a different word, right?

The funny one that I saw on a TV promo was a guy expclaiming "Shut the...Front door!" as soon as ge got to the "F" in front, I was sure he was going a different direction with that phrase. It made me chuckle.

I had a marine friend who had a standard subsitute for f...in' and I don't remember it now, that's going to bug me....all I can think of was the term he used for passing gas...he'd annouce that they were "barking spiders..."

 

[Xero]

Lol IADad, I have heard "SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!" before too, one of my favorites. Another one we had in school that we liked to use to put people on edge was "YOU GOD DAAA - NDY BLUE EYES!!" lol. Dumb, I know, but hey you know how it is.

DH has always been a real potty mouth, his whole family on both sides are so much so that they make me feel uncomfortable all the time lol! I swear too, don't get me wrong, but these people are just R-Rated! I wont tolerate that kind of thing around my kid though, at least not to that extent, but I'm honestly not completely crazy about it either. DH and I have really cleaned up quite a bit since DS was born. We rarely let a swear word slip around him, and I think that the ones we do let go of don't phase him at all. I think because we don't use them all the time, he realizes that they are not regular words to use and they don't stick in his mind as well as regular words. There have been a couple of times that he had innocently repeated one, and we just told him "Hey, don't say that. That's not a nice word." And that always seemed to be enough for him. I don't want him to think he can swear by any means, but I also don't want him thinking that swear words don't exist or that people don't use them. I think that makes them too mysterious and like a special thing to kids when they finally do hear them. Plus I have to teach him about them in some moderation thanks to the potty mouth family members. -sigh- :/ They tone it down around him to be polite thankfully (mostly because they know I'll say something to them if they don't), but they certainly don't completely censor themselves so it is how it is. I can't control other people, but I can control the way my son views what other people do to an extent.

I would say that we tend to use replacements a lot, like freakin, friggin, dang it/darn it, common stuff like that. Where I can't deny the argument that you might as well say the word, I think they are a lot more harmless than the actual words themselves if you feel the need to say something haha.

What I HATE, is when parents just cuss all out whenever they feel like it all the time in front of their kids and then yell at them for repeating it. Its like, ummm DUH??? You shouldn't be mad at your kids for that, you should be mad at yourself.

 

[MomoJA]

I go with the ole classics, "doggone it" and "shoot" (or try to.) Boring, I know. But my daughter is at a stage where the words "poo poo" and "pee pee" are naughty "potty talk," and we are dealing with that.

 

[lovebeingamum]

I don't say them in front of my children, but there are some relatives who say them in front of them because they simply aren't thinking about it.

My youngest has picked up the f word from her uncles.

 

[mom2many]

Unless I am around some one elses kids I just say the word, cussing as a rule just doesn't bother me. Besides my kids know that there are grown up words and kids words.

 

[singledad]

I have to confess, I'm a bit of a potty-mouth . (Ok, maybe not a bit ) I'm trying to clean up my language though, especially around my kid. I hope its not too late, since she's already started repeating some of my swear words... I know its bad, but I didn't even realise what I was doing until she dropped a swear-word. In the middle of telling her she shouldn't speak like that, I realised that the one she used was one of my favourites, so she probably heard it from me. That was quite a wakeup call...

So... I'll be watching this thread for cool substitutes! LOL.

 

[stjohnjulie]

My business partner and I have been talking about this a lot lately. Ilo is still really little, and we tend to go at it like sailors, but we know we are going to have to clean it up. It kind of came natural with my first son, so hopefully we can reel it in without too much trouble. She will rattle on for awhile and then stop and say, "oh my god, I have to stop it, I will die if Ilo's first word is F..."

The penguins from Madagascar used, "Shitaki Mushrooms" as a sort of a curse phrase. I know someone who says that around their kids. There there is the SpongeBob way of doing it...Barnacles.

There are other just kind of 'harsh' words that I replace. Like fluffer or toot for fart. But I guess my biggest replacement curse word is just plain ol' Shoot! I'm due for an updated replacement curse word

My older son knows all of the words, but I've never heard him say them. He knows better than to use them. I never swore around him, still don't. My brother told me a long time ago, "Swear words are for the unimaginative." I think there is a lot of truth to that, but when I am mad, I am not feeling very creative

 

[Antoinette]

other than shitaki mushrooms and fuckasha bread i just use shoot, sugar. when Felix is annoying me i call him a little Turtle (you little turdle) basically very simple ones, nothing to imaginative

i say damn,god etc as the real word. i was in the car with Felix the other day and a woman walked out in front of me and i slammed on the breaks and said "Jesus Christ" and Felix repeated "Jesus Christ mummy" i wasn't thrilled but i know where he got it at least

 

[IADad]

i say damn,god etc as the real word. i was in the car with Felix the other day and a woman walked out in front of me and i slammed on the breaks and said "Jesus Christ" and Felix repeated "Jesus Christ mummy" i wasn't thrilled but i know where he got it at least

Reminds me of DS2, when he was 2, was playing with his farmer and tractor, and started to say, "Damn it, just Damn it!" I questioned him on what he said and he paused, help up the tractor and farmer, looked me in the eye and said "He say it."

I'm going to have my work cut out for me with that boy....

 

[kathywhite]

I swore in the car with a "jesus christ" once and my daughter piped up "where?" "Right there in the car in front of me " I replied - if he doesn't work out how to drive I'm going to crucify him.

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

My most common one used in frustration is "God.....Bless America!"

 

[stjohnjulie]

When Luca was about three, we were in the car with a friend of mine on the way to the beach. This guy did not have any kids, like most of the people I know, and he dropped a F bomb. Well, this was a fantastic new thing to parrot, so all the way to the beach Luca was saying it. I gave my friend the major evil eye and said, "Do NOT laugh." We completely ignored it and he never said it again. I knew well enough by this point that if you made a big deal out of it, it would be repeated as often as possible Luca is a stinker like that !

 

[Xero]

Haha A couple of months ago we had a funny moment when DH was goofing around with me and kinda chasing me through the house, and I guess he just assumed DS wasn't listening and didn't choose his words too wisely lol and he said "Get back here, I'm gonna kick your a$$!" and we were both laughing, so DS ran over and said "Daddy, you're not going to kick mommy's a$$!!" LOL! It was awkward. We couldn't help but laugh, and then we just told him that is was a bad word that daddy said by accident. He laughed too and didn't say it again. But... oops!

 

[Incogneato]

Haha, too funny. Great stories and things to look forward to for me. DW and I are trying hard to keep our bad words out of our language now, but it's a hard habit to break.

 

[IADad]

Haha, too funny. Great stories and things to look forward to for me. DW and I are trying hard to keep our bad words out of our language now, but it's a hard habit to break.

be sure to remind her of that when she's in hard labor. She'll appreciate hearing it....:giggles:

 

[Incogneato]

I would only dare say that if I was wearing full baseball catcher's gear

 

[Seattlepapa]

I've found that I rediscovered my late grandmother's Southern Baptist vernacular of "Dadgummit" and "For Cripes' sake!"

 

[NancyM]

Haha A couple of months ago we had a funny moment when DH was goofing around with me and kinda chasing me through the house, and I guess he just assumed DS wasn't listening and didn't choose his words too wisely lol and he said "Get back here, I'm gonna kick your a$$!" and we were both laughing, so DS ran over and said "Daddy, you're not going to kick mommy's a$$!!" LOL! It was awkward. We couldn't help but laugh, and then we just told him that is was a bad word that daddy said by accident. He laughed too and didn't say it again. But... oops!

I just love our little boys! lol lol