Adult special needs and church...

[Mom2all]

My situation is a little weird. I have 2 friends. Daryl and Bertha. He is around 35 and she is around 53. The live in a group home of a dear friend and I have fallen in love with them both. Bertha calls me Mama.
I have no idea exactly what the condition they have is, but mentally they are around 4 or 5. Daryl is scared of animals and insects.. and just about everything new.. but he always wants me to take him somewhere. Bertha is a bigger handful. She wants to go to church, she loves to sing.. loudly!
She blurts out stuff at the wrong time and only laughs when you try to redirect her. Its part of her charm! I want to take them both to church. They keep asking to go. I've gotten Bertha her "church dress" and Daryl conned someone into taking him shopping this week. Now I need to find a church. Here's where I need help.

I attend Mass with my darling.. so a service that is quiet and controlled like that I know Bertha would never be able to make it through. She likes to grab childrens hands, ( not mean, she like to sing to them) , but I'm afraid of what the parents there might react like. She also likes to talk about her "husband" Don Johnson, and the fact she's been pregnant for the last 20 or so years with his baby. I'm concerned about her trying to tell someone her stories during church.

I guess I'm asking for advice on how to go about finding a church that will appreciate their needs and want us there even if a unforunate situation happens, as it most likely will. They are both black, and though looking for a particular color of people has never been my style, I think a mostly black church would help Daryl because he is scared of everything. People that look more like him may be better for him in a new situation. But other than that, I have no idea what to look for or ask for in a church. I don't want to church hop with them, as I think it would be too much for Daryl. So I need to find it before I take them.

Anyone have any ideas here on how to find a perfect place for us?

 

[TabascoNatalie]

myself i'm catholic, and as far as i know, churches really appreciate if you help special needs people, and such people are very welcome. probably just not all churches have the convenient facilities.
best of all, check with your local church.

 

[AmyBelle]

I dont know exactly what denomination youre looking into, but maybe if you go around to some of the churches in the area and talk to the priest/reverend/pastor and explain the situaiton, maybe they can suggest something like which particular mass time would cater to them better or they could even inform the congregation that they will be having some visitors and this is their situation and this is what they do so dont be frightened of them.

 

[bssage]

I dont have much to add to the above post I think they are great.

I will say I had a cousin who had a crissis of faith when he was in HS and his dad had a massive stroke. He ended up attending a all black babtist church Where there was singing and dancing ect. He loved it. I think he went all through HS. His DW is morman now and well thats another story.

I'm not sure about other churches but The Catholic church has mass on Wed and Sat nights. Its a lot less people and much more laid back than the Sunday see and be seen crowd.

It might be fun exploring different churches looking for a good fit.

I like what your doing have fun.

 

[Dadu2004]

I would probably take them someplace more "upbeat" than a Catholic service. Gear toward pentecostal or a traditional baptist church. The services are usually noisy and no one will notice!

 

[IADad]

I'm wondering...don't all churches, not matter how upbeat, have quiet contemplative times during their services? It seems that it's going to those times that it's a struggle to cope with.

No matter where you end up, I think it may be constructive to meet with the clergy person/faith leader before hand, they can help set the tone for others' understanding and acceptance. I'm also wondering if maybe a smaller church might be beneficial. With a smaller church it may be more possible for the entire congreation to be "in the know" about the challenges these people face are as well as accepting of the joys they bring. Just thinking that the fewer misunderstandings you have to deal with the better for everyone.

 

[Mom2all]

All of you have wonderful advice! I went Sunday to church that may just be perfect. My daughter and I stood out like sore thumbs and yet they treated us so well and we even had dinner afterward with the members! We had a blast ourselves. I am going back to speak alone with the pastor. They are small.. and loud and happy!!! Perhaps I may of found our place on the first try!!!!!

 

[bssage]

Coolio. I'm not much of a church goer but I think it should be a fun happy place.

I'm happy for you