(Bad Dad # 2) are you a boy or a mouse?...

[bssage]

Cole 12 is frightened of mice. I guess he may get it from his mom. But I am trying to get him to "man up" on this. So I purchased some easy set: no touch to remove the mouse traps.

I should say at our house we do "Discipline mice with death" some of you probably may recommend that I talk to the mouse to identify the root cause of him eating holes in the wall. But like my parents before me I think death is just a more significant lesson for the mouse.

Anyway. The mouse has kinda become a big thing for me for a several reasons.
#1 sooner or later he is going to be a young man and should be able to discard a mouse.
#2 He is much bigger than a mouse
#3 He needs to keep food out of his room/basement game area.
#4 Since I travel for work I do not want the mouse decomposing until I return home.

So I kinda tried to force the issue today. Many excuses: some :I hate you dad's" and some disrespect. I finally gave in and discarded the mouse myself.

Then did both some active listening. Which in my opinion were a bunch of lame excuses (but I heard him). And a little lecturing about how I don't care if he ever touches a mouse. That he is soon to be a young man. Shouldn't be scared of mice. And will someday be on his own. And just leaving them sit only makes the job worse. The long and short of the lecture was that I was trying to help him. And not trying to scare or make him uncomfortable. Its a necessary thing that no one really wants to do. But needs done.

I know there are traps that enclose the mouse: give the mouse a mouse time out and allow for relocation. I feel this needs to be overcome and not avoided.

My feeling was that if I could get him to drop the mouse in the trash bag he would see it is a non event and become desensitized to the dead mouse and less afraid of live ones. And while this may sound sexist. I know significantly more women deathly afraid of mice than men. Its kinda one of the crappy gender assigned jobs of the real world.

Now before you ladies jump on me with "I'm not afraid" Its OK I understand its a stereotype. Chloe would have played with the dead mouse for days. probably had it in her mouth (another reason it needs gone immediately)

Looking for opinions on two things.

1# strategy on getting Cole to get rid of the mouse. and resetting the traps. Again easy set. Dont actually touch the mouse or put you fingers in harms way.

#2 (may end up in debate thread) The desire to get our boys to "man up"

 

[cybele]

Cybele's solution to mice: Adopt 4 cats.

From experience, it works very well. If you wan't manly cats, then adopt some boy cats (funnily enough, the girl cats tend to play with dead mice longer than the boy cat... there must be something to that)

 

[bssage]

Ha. Funnily enough that was the future ex's idea. She has a habit of backing the car over them though. Or getting them caught up in the serpentine belt on her car (nasty). She is like a final destination movie for cats.

 

[cybele]

Well that's disturbing, haha.

 

[mom2many]

What is it with female cat's and playing with their food? My males never ate them, they just killed them and left. The girls would carry them around like some kinda trophy! what's worse are the ones who bring them to you, I really don't want them!

As to the whole 'man up' philosophy...sometimes kids just have to face their fears...... Says the woman who's daughter (Megan) slept under the kitchen table this week because of spiders in her room.

I hate dead mice, the live ones don't bother me at all. Open a drawer and see one and I think "awe how cute". See a dead one in a trap and I am beyond disgusted, and a little afraid. I still deal with it, but with gloves and a mask (kidding...a little).

I'm not sure how you would help him get over his fears...as evident by Megan sleeping in the kitchen. Just keep on talking and demonstrating. I think that's all you can do, and if it doesn't work he can always hire an exterminator when he get's older.

 

[tadamsmar]

You are probably trying to solve a non-problem. He probably will not fear dead mice when he is an adult.

But if you have the time to kill and you think you have nothing better to do, progressive desentization might work. Brake down the task into small parts. Encourage him to just touch the empty trap, learn to set the trap; approach, then touch, a trap with a dead mouse in it. Give positive attention to the smallest progress in the right direction. This will take lots of patience on your part.

 

[Mom2all]

They just harvested the field behind our house... and now we are seeing the nasty little things everywhere. We have set about a dozen traps. I believe in death also. I am your stereotype. I will throw them out if there is absolutely not one soul left in the world to do it. And I also glove it up.. gag a little...

If you find out how to help him at 12.. do share. My 21 year old Adam... (whose, BTW, entertainment includes jumping off bridges), has taken it on himself to become pro-active in our mice war. He has shot and killed 2 this week with a blow gun. Both of which stayed pinned to the wall until his little brother came and took it away.

 

[Jeremy+3]

Surely what you should be actually doing is sorting your house out so that you don't have rodents in it?

Having rodents running around your house is absolutely disgusting.

 

[cybele]

You do realise that wild animals don't wander up and down the streets, through the neighbourhood looking for the messiest house possible, keeping a little checklist going "Oh number 6 has a messy basement, but number 57 have a messy garage" right? They are more likely to stay in one place if they find it habitable, but nothing is going to stop them from passing through if there are large concentrations of that animal in the area.

Mice (and possums, which are our problem) also like certain types of housing insulation, and short of tearing your walls out and re-insulating, there is nothing you can do about that, slightly raised homes also have issues because the gap between the flooring and the soil is a good place to live, and, of course, if your next door neighbours have a very rodent habitable household, then you will get them and there is nothing you can do about it.

 

[Jeremy+3]

You do realise that wild animals don't wander up and down the streets, through the neighbourhood looking for the messiest house possible, keeping a little checklist going "Oh number 6 has a messy basement, but number 57 have a messy garage" right? They are more likely to stay in one place if they find it habitable, but nothing is going to stop them from passing through if there are large concentrations of that animal in the area.

Mice (and possums, which are our problem) also like certain types of housing insulation, and short of tearing your walls out and re-insulating, there is nothing you can do about that, slightly raised homes also have issues because the gap between the flooring and the soil is a good place to live, and, of course, if your next door neighbours have a very rodent habitable household, then you will get them and there is nothing you can do about it.

They are attracted to places with a good food supply and a current scent of urine of other rodents, houses where rubbish isn't properly stored, and food is left lying around.

I have lived in the countryside my entire life, we have never had any rodents in our house, insulation is only a problem if for some reason you decide its a good idea to make holes in your walls and floor.

 

[Mom2all]

Surely what you should be actually doing is sorting your house out so that you don't have rodents in it?

Having rodents running around your house is absolutely disgusting.

Really???

I have mice in my home this week.. after the corn field behind my house was harvested. THAT makes them run in search of a safer place. My house is not dirty, urine filled, or a hoard filled food haven for them. Just convenient. It was the same last year when the field was harvested. It'll be the same next year too. This normally is about a 2 week battle. And although I agree with you that they are disgusting, short of burning down the farmers crop of corn, there is little else we can do but wait for the rodents and then kill them off.

 

[tadamsmar]

Here's my general purpose method for getting my grandkids to do something that takes only a few minutes.

When the kid is playing a video game, I would come up close and say, "You can come back to your game after you help me deal with the mouse trap". Then get him to go along a do at least part of the process of disposing of the dead mouse and resetting the trap.

If he protests, encourage and negotiate in a positive way, appealing to his better angels. For instance, talk about how Mom will need his help when he is gone. Tell him that all he has to do this time is X, where X is part of the process. He will soon (if not immediately) figure out that the best way to get you to go away is to cooperate.

After he helps, tell him he showed bravery in overcoming his fears, showed that he is growing up and is able to face hard tasks, or similar praise/encouragement.

Completely ignore any bad attitude (like "I hate you") that he might evidence.

If not video games, then interrupt during one of the things he likes to do frequently when he is allowed to do his own thing.

 

[tadamsmar]

Teach his sister to do it first.

 

[bssage]

You are probably trying to solve a non-problem. He probably will not fear dead mice when he is an adult.

I would imagine by that time they will be pretty ripe. Likely skeletons. The object is to not wait until I return home from work and they are more nasty. IMHO a 12 yr old boy should handle it.

They just harvested the field behind our house... and now we are seeing the nasty little things everywhere.

Exactly right never a peep in the summer or spring Fall and winter.

Surely what you should be actually doing is sorting your house out so that you don't have rodents in it?

I covered this in item # 3. You are correct of course. They will still come in because we eat food in the house. But not as many or as long if the house was mouse food free.

I have lived in the countryside my entire life, we have never had any rodents in our house, insulation is only a problem if for some reason you decide its a good idea to make holes in your walls and floor.

Sounds like you mice are more discriminating than ours. I cant think of any place in the Midwest as a child or an adult that did not have issues in the fall. I have always felt it was common because every store be it grocery, hardware, even drugstore has an aisle with traps poison ect in them. Maybe its just that everyone in my geographic area is a slob.

Here's my general purpose method for getting my grandkids to do something that takes only a few minutes.

When the kid is playing a video game, I would come up close and say, "You can come back to your game after you help me deal with the mouse trap". Then get him to go along a do at least part of the process of disposing of the dead mouse and resetting the trap.

If he protests, encourage and negotiate in a positive way, appealing to his better angels. For instance, talk about how Mom will need his help when he is gone. Tell him that all he has to do this time is X, where X is part of the process. He will soon (if not immediately) figure out that the best way to get you to go away is to cooperate.

After he helps, tell him he showed bravery in overcoming his fears, showed that he is growing up and is able to face hard tasks, or similar praise/encouragement.

Completely ignore any bad attitude (like "I hate you") that he might evidence.

If not video games, then interrupt during one of the things he likes to do frequently when he is allowed to do his own thing.

That was the my original plan. Apparently he was not "on board" with my plan. I did ignore the "I hate you" I did not ignore the disrespect that followed. I am regrouping.

Teach his sister to do it first.

Have you read anything I have posted in the last three years????

 

[Xero]

I should say at our house we do "Discipline mice with death" some of you probably may recommend that I talk to the mouse to identify the root cause of him eating holes in the wall. But like my parents before me I think death is just a more significant lesson for the mouse.

That. Is hilarious. But yeah, we've always killed them too. Do people really think that if you set them free outside, that they have no idea how to get back into your house??? lol They are smart little things. You don't kill them, or drive them really far away, they will be back.

And while this may sound sexist. I know significantly more women deathly afraid of mice than men. Its kinda one of the crappy gender assigned jobs of the real world.

Now before you ladies jump on me with "I'm not afraid" Its OK I understand its a stereotype.

It's alright, now you know how we felt in the thread where we had the conversation "men get pee on the toilet" - "what no we don't, we're clean people too, I know just as many women that miss the bowl, that's such a dumb stereotype". But seriously, I'll dispose of a mouse if I absolutely must, but if DH is home it's all him haha. And when I do, I scrub myself all the way up to my elbows with antibacterial soap. :err:

Though it's been a long time since I have seen any. I haven't seen any in our new place, even though I thought I saw some signs of them when we first moved in. We killed a couple in our old place, though.

Ha. Funnily enough that was the future ex's idea. She has a habit of backing the car over them though. Or getting them caught up in the serpentine belt on her car (nasty). She is like a final destination movie for cats.

D: What the... I don't even...

Surely what you should be actually doing is sorting your house out so that you don't have rodents in it?

Having rodents running around your house is absolutely disgusting.

I don't know any home or store in my area that has never seen a mouse, either. We are surrounded by vineyards and other crops, and it is an old town, with old houses and buildings. A lot of our houses are also in woodsy areas (mine is). Pretty sure at least the majority of us know how to keep our houses clean and garbage properly disposed of. I had the feeling you'd say something condescending on this thread, though. Honestly, I'm not offended. It's a well known fact around here that people get mice on occasion. It's completely normal.

So, does mom refuse to pick them up, bssage? Don't get me wrong, I think Cole should be able to do it, but it would be less of a deal if she would just toss it (I only ask because you said it would just rot if he didn't get it). Anyway, my mom made us throw them away as kids. It sucked, I hated it!! lol I would pretty much run screaming with it to the garbage haha. I probably told her I hated her, too (pretty sure I'm not scarred or anything though, I'm sure he'd live, get over it even *gasp*, if you just made him do it). But at least now, in my own house, if I need to throw away a mouse I can. Spiders, however, are a different story. I am still in training for disposing of those. 0_o

 

[bssage]

Well Xero: Its like this,

She will either create some complicated Rube Goldberg machine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Goldberg_machine) that will involve multiple household items which in turn will be discarded along with the corpse. After all they will have touched a dead mouse. for example a stick, a broom, a dust pan, Brand new dish washing gloves bought for the event, and a bucket will all be outside on the porch waiting for me.

Most of the traps are in the basement. She wont go in the basement. Because its kinda dark and there may be mice, Ghost, zombies and spiders down there. Oh but its OK for her child to play his video games in the basement.

 

[tadamsmar]

I am surprised that interruping him during a video game (or such) would fail to get some cooperation.

Typically the kid will not protest too much because delaying tactics work against him getting back to the game.

I'd ignore the disrespect and just stay totally focused on Plan-A. Plan-A being that the kid can only go back to the video game after he has cooperated a bit. If you don't do that, then kid wins, dad loses, because he has distracted you from the goal. Expect more disrespect (I think), because you are giving him a very reliable button to push that reliably gets you off track.

One thing to consider about the manning up: The kid can man up by standing up to you. So, manning up is a two-edged sword.

You only need a tiny bit of cooperation at first to start the desentization process.

The idea is to get a small bit of behavior in the direction you want and give that small bit a lot of postive attention, and build on it.

He may be a hard case because he has a pretty strong phobia or aversion to mice. It's common, from my reading. And, since mice are disease carriers it's easy to see why such taboos exits. It's hard to even go near something that is viewed as tainted/polluted.

 

[NancyM]

I'm not sure I agree with forcing him to do the job but I understand that it has to be done.

Is there no other adult who can handle the dirty job? I also believe he will have his share of taking care of his own mouse traps one day, and that he will out grow it when he has to, but at 12 Im not sure someone else shouldn't handle it for him I think he should be protected from the creatures as well as your daughter, just IMO.

Is it a tiny bit possible that you Dad just want him to act like a 'guy' and not a sissy? No disrespect intended, I see my DH do this at times and I point it out to him as well

We live in a wooded neighborhood and when ever anyone around us has anything done to their home, like construction the mice and rats get upheaved (is this a word?) and run a muck. Everyone hates it and isn't much we can do.

My husband actually shoots them. lol Sorry but this is what I have to live with , and my son and neighbors do the same thing.

It really doesn't have to do with unsanitary surroundings at all.

 

[mom2many]

We get mice in the fall also, especially once they start to harvest the fields. It's just a part of living where we live.

 

[bssage]

I think he should be protected from the creatures as well as your daughter, just IMO.

#1 nobody needs protected from a dead mouse. Sorry ladies but I have not: And am currently unaware: of anyone ever being attacked by a dead mouse.

#2 I am not protecting my daughter from the dead mouse. I am protecting it from her.

Is it a tiny bit possible that you Dad just want him to act like a 'guy' and not a sissy? No disrespect intended, I see my DH do this at times and I point it out to him as well

Absolutely. I am not in denial about this. That is the part of the thread I thought may end in debate. But IMHO soon he will be a young man. And IMHO part of that is not being afraid of mice, the dark, a backed up toilet ect.

My husband actually shoots them.

He must be a better shot than I am.

It really doesn't have to do with unsanitary surroundings at all.

Well it kinda does. But if you wanted to be sanitary enough to keep them from coming in. I would think it would have to be extremely sterile. They are looking for two things together: shelter & food. So you would have to eliminate food smells any crumbs ect. If you pay attention even most extremely clean places , hospital's Dr office's have bait traps at the entrance and hidden around. The best We (I) can do is keep it to a minimum and have them move on to a more suitable area. Barn cats are extremely effective.