(Bad Dad # 2) are you a boy or a mouse?...

[bssage]

I am surprised that interruping him during a video game (or such) would fail to get some cooperation.

That is correct. Typically this has been very effective when used. I have had much success getting him to close cabinet doors, Flush the toilet, Feed the dog, Make his bed, ect. By interrupting him to do these things.

I'd ignore the disrespect

That is something I wont ignore. But more to the point I need him to understand just because he is mad, Or doesn't like something. That these emotions do not exclude him from acceptable behavior standards. I think that gets a lot of people in trouble (both adults and children) that when things are not going their way the gloves are off and rules do not apply. Also I don't want him to believe that there are acceptable reasons for him to be disrespectful of his mom or grandparents when I am not around.

One thing to consider about the manning up: The kid can man up by standing up to you. So, manning up is a two-edged sword.

good point.

 

[tadamsmar]

nobody needs protected from a dead mouse.

11 diseases transmitted by mice. None of these diseases require any direct contact with the mouse:

http://www.cdc.gov/rodents/diseases/direct.html

 

[bssage]

11 diseases transmitted by mice. None of these diseases require any direct contact with the mouse:

http://www.cdc.gov/rodents/diseases/direct.html

So what exactly do you recommend?? Moving, incinerating the mouse and anything it came into contact with? Wearing hazmat suits?

 

[tadamsmar]

So what exactly do you recommend?? Moving, incinerating the mouse and anything it came into contact with? Wearing hazmat suits?

Perhaps you're stretching it a bit to try to get a 12 yo to do this task.

Perhaps this should be viewed as a adult responsibility.

Not sure.

 

[mom2many]

Perhaps you're stretching it a bit to try to get a 12 yo to do this task.

Perhaps this should be viewed as a adult responsibility.

Not sure.

I don't know about that. My 3rd oldest boy has always been the dead animal remover. Probably since he was about 10-11, and he buries the animals.

 

[tadamsmar]

What is his thinking on this? Does he think he will never have to deal with dead mice? Or does he acknowledge he will eventually have to?

I was thinking you might get a commitment to help with the mice at a later date. He gets to put it off and you get a promise from him.

 

[NancyM]

#1 nobody needs protected from a dead mouse. Sorry ladies but I have not: And am currently unaware: of anyone ever being attacked by a dead mouse.

<I>Diseases do carry on dead mice as well as live ones. </I>

#2 I am not protecting my daughter from the dead mouse. I am protecting it from her.

<I>I know your kidding, but both kids should be protected from it imo.
</I>
Absolutely. I am not in denial about this. That is the part of the thread I thought may end in debate. But IMHO soon he will be a young man. And IMHO part of that is not being afraid of mice, the dark, a backed up toilet ect.

<I>He's 12. Young man happens at 15/16. Well than if that's what your saying, that you just want him to 'man up' than my answer if NO, you should not force him. Discarding a dead mouse doesn't make him a man. </I>

He must be a better shot than I am.

<I>I'm sure he is. Never missed yet! </I>:yes:

Well it kinda does. But if you wanted to be sanitary enough to keep them from coming in. I would think it would have to be extremely sterile. They are looking for two things together: shelter &amp; food. So you would have to eliminate food smells any crumbs ect. If you pay attention even most extremely clean places , hospital's Dr office's have bait traps at the entrance and hidden around. The best We (I) can do is keep it to a minimum and have them move on to a more suitable area. Barn cats are extremely effective.

<I>NOT necessarily, like I said I live in mouse's territory they rule, if they get cold, they find a way into the house usually the basement. Yeah we're good at finding them, (CAT) but my home is clean and they generally come in for heat in the cold weather, not so much in the warm weather.

You should really get a cat, they will take good care of that problem so your son won't have to be humiliated anymore that he's afraid of a little dead mouse. </I>

<I>In a good way of course.</I>

 

[bssage]

haha not sure how to multi quote a multi quoted quote.

And I kinda figured the "man up" would have some disagreement. Which is OK. Of course I am not expecting him to turn into a man or even young man today. It really is a lifelong process and involves what a hand shake means. The value of your word. Just a whole crap load of stuff. The mouse is just a very small minor component of that.

And you are probably right. I was a little frustrated that it bothered him that much. Maybe carried it a little to far. Not way far, but a little far. When that happens I typically do: and did: an exit interview where we can sit calmly and say I know this is what was said. But this is what I meant to say. This is why I said it. And this is why it matters to me. Which that went well. But I probably did push a little hard.

I think if we kill another one when I am away it will be gone when I get home.

And I am not worried about him rubbing the dead despised mouse on himself. I did buy "no touch" traps. Even though I am old school and have never had a problem using a paper towel.

My brother and I would throw them at each other or stick them in the others shorts. (my scars run deep)

 

[singledad]

I think he should be protected from the creatures as well as your daughter, just IMO.

11 diseases transmitted by mice. None of these diseases require any direct contact with the mouse:

http://www.cdc.gov/rodents/diseases/direct.html

Perhaps this should be viewed as a adult responsibility.

For goodness sake, people. Its just a friggin mouse, not some rabid predator!

Yes, they do carry disease, which is why its not a good idea to touch them with your bare hands, and why it is a good idea to clean up afterwards. That said, I have, and know many people who have touched mice (and rats) with their bare hands, and I've never heard of any of those 11 diseases, let alone still anyone who actually caught them (Well, I've heard of plague, but really... ), so they can't be all that prevalent. Luckily, the average human being has a handy little thing call your "immune system".

But then, I'm not into disinfecting walls and floors either... Kids eat dirt and grass, and various other disgusting things and survive that, after all.

Besides, you can probably catch way more than 11 diseases by touching just about anything in a shopping mall... (how many rats and mice do you think peed on the last tin you opened while it was in the warehouse?)

Don't get me wrong, I understand that people are afraid of mice. And with a mother who is as scared of them as his seems to be, its no wonder he has come to the conclusion that mice are dangerous. I'm not sure how you can help him overcome his fear, except my repeatedly exposing him and hoping that he becomes desensitized...

Or alternatively, hope that he one day marries a woman who isn't afraid. LOL. I have a friend who, whenever he finds any form of "wildlife"(mouse, spider, lizard, insect that's too big to swat...) in the house, usually hides in the bathroom until his wife has removed said wildlife. (I wonder what he does when said wildlife is IN the bathroom... I'll have to ask him.) Yes, his friends will make fun of him, like we make fun of our friend, but its his choice - learn to throw out dead mice, or have your friends make fun of you for the rest of your life...

PS: I'm more of a mouse-timeout guy myself - the naughty step for mice is in a piece of undeveloped land a few kms from my house. But then, I drive past there every day, so pulling over to let a mouse out on my way to work is a non-issue . Its a bit hard to determine how long they have to stay, since I can't tell the age of a mouse, but fortunately they don't seem to mind staying indefinitely...

PPS: Cats also catch birds, lizards, geckos, chameleons, etc. I'm not a fan, except when they wear bells to warn potential prey... (Ok, nevermid. Gotta go. If anyone is looking for me, I'll be outside, hugging a bunny... )

 

[Mom2all]

PPS: Cats also catch birds, lizards, geckos, chameleons, etc. I'm not a fan, except when they wear bells to warn potential prey... (Ok, nevermid. Gotta go. If anyone is looking for me, I'll be outside, hugging a bunny... )

I hug trees a bit,s o I get it... but this made me want to get a cat.
All these creatures reak me out.. include frogs and I'd be covered.

Funny about your friend though. My Dad's 60+ year old man buddy called here freaking out one day over a snake in under his porch. My Dad was busy so he sent me and my daughter to rid him of his unwanted pet... whle he stood 30 feet away!

 

[Xero]

Not sure why my mom made me do it LOL. No "man up" excuse there. Either just wanted us to be strong and self sufficient, or just didn't want to do it herself not sure. xD

As for touching mice, yeah I wouldn't use bare hands, but honestly I don't think it will kill anybody. Mice are everywhere touching all kinds of things, they even get processed into food sometimes. For real. Just put it into the back of your mind lol.

 

[tadamsmar]

I also send mice to time-out. I am pretty sure it's illegal to leave mice on a naughty step that is owned by someone else, but I do it anyway. Also, rabbits and some other critters that get into my larger traps.

I grew up on a farm, and I was building and setting rabbit traps by age 12 (I think, don't recall when I started).

 

[parentastic]

The only thing that comes to my mind about this whole thread is whether your son is resisting because it is a phobia, rather than a dislike.
I.e., was there a trauma associated with it in the past, or something - just like some people can't stand a wasp, a spider or a snake?
If so, then forcing the issue may not be the best approach. Just saying.

 

[NancyM]

For goodness sake, people. Its just a friggin mouse, not some rabid predator!

Yes, they do carry disease, which is why its not a good idea to touch them with your bare hands, and why it is a good idea to clean up afterwards. That said, I have, and know many people who have touched mice (and rats) with their bare hands, and I've never heard of any of those 11 diseases, let alone still anyone who actually caught them (Well, I've heard of plague, but really... ), so they can't be all that prevalent. Luckily, the average human being has a handy little thing call your "immune system".

But then, I'm not into disinfecting walls and floors either... Kids eat dirt and grass, and various other disgusting things and survive that, after all.

Besides, you can probably catch way more than 11 diseases by touching just about anything in a shopping mall... (how many rats and mice do you think peed on the last tin you opened while it was in the warehouse?)

Don't get me wrong, I understand that people are afraid of mice. And with a mother who is as scared of them as his seems to be, its no wonder he has come to the conclusion that mice are dangerous. I'm not sure how you can help him overcome his fear, except my repeatedly exposing him and hoping that he becomes desensitized...

Or alternatively, hope that he one day marries a woman who isn't afraid. LOL. I have a friend who, whenever he finds any form of "wildlife"(mouse, spider, lizard, insect that's too big to swat...) in the house, usually hides in the bathroom until his wife has removed said wildlife. (I wonder what he does when said wildlife is IN the bathroom... I'll have to ask him.) Yes, his friends will make fun of him, like we make fun of our friend, but its his choice - learn to throw out dead mice, or have your friends make fun of you for the rest of your life...

PS: I'm more of a mouse-timeout guy myself - the naughty step for mice is in a piece of undeveloped land a few kms from my house. But then, I drive past there every day, so pulling over to let a mouse out on my way to work is a non-issue . Its a bit hard to determine how long they have to stay, since I can't tell the age of a mouse, but fortunately they don't seem to mind staying indefinitely...

PPS: Cats also catch birds, lizards, geckos, chameleons, etc. I'm not a fan, except when they wear bells to warn potential prey... (Ok, nevermid. Gotta go. If anyone is looking for me, I'll be outside, hugging a bunny... )

Maybe where you live in Africa rodents aren't the worse thing or creature to come in contact with, but we don't do that often where I live anyway. So we try to avoid becoming infested with them, at all costs. And Cats are the best way to keep them out of your yard and home. We don't have to worry about those other creepy things you mentioned.

and you can contract many diseases which I won't debate because I know it's true, as a matter of fact New York is dealing with this right now, a disease calle Hantavirus Infection was contracted by a few people, it's not common to us, so we don't like it and yes me make a big deal about it. And don't want anything to do with it. I certainly would not let my child discard a dead one, I still believe the adult should handle it.

If big dad isn't home, than ask a relative or neighbor not your kid.

:wink:just my little ol thoughts.

 

[cybele]

So probably not the best time to tell the story of the time Sashie climbed on a dead roo on the side of the road and caled it "Mount Kanga"?

We live in a strange hybrid rainforest-bush area with much more wildlife than people, sadly, dead animals (mostly hit by cars) is an everyday occurance. The only ones that bother me are baby wombats and lyrebirds, don't know why, I just hate seeing them die.

But in my family we teach the circle of life concept and my kids know that death happens and they are all fine to remove and bury dead animals, they wash their hands properly afterwards and they are fine and dandy.

 

[Mom2all]

So probably not the best time to tell the story of the time Sashie climbed on a dead roo on the side of the road and caled it "Mount Kanga"?

:err: :biglaugh:

 

[singledad]

I'm sad. You guys called some my favourite little creatures creepy.

Maybe where you live in Africa rodents aren't the worse thing or creature to come in contact with, but we don't do that often where I live anyway.

Actually, you'd be surprised. Where I live, in the suburbs, you can hardly tell we're in Africa Come to think about it, its been several years since I've even had a mouse in the house...

But from what I've read here, it sounds like we're a lot more tolerant towards "wildlife" that you guys. See, having insect-eaters living in your garden helps negate the need for pesticides. Pesticides kill not only insects, but also their predators, which in turn increases the need for pesticides, and it just becomes a vicious circle. Its much better to try to maintain some sort of natural balance.

We also have a huge drive at the moment for people to put up owl-boxes, to give the spotted eagle-owls and barn-owls, that occur naturally here a place to breed, since they keep the rodent populate under control without damaging other parts of the eco-system. I put up a box in my garden a few years ago, and have watched to sets of chicks being raised I'm hoping for a third set this year.

:idea: This makes me think - do you guys also have owls that occur naturally in the area? Would it perhaps be feasible to encourage them to breed on your property? They don't only keep rodents under control, they're also beautiful, and provide an excellent education opportunity for your kids...

Anyway, I guess I've known for a long time that we're a lot more relaxed about a lot of things than you guys, and believe it or not, we don't actually end up constantly contracting scary exotic diseases.

So probably not the best time to tell the story of the time Sashie climbed on a dead roo on the side of the road and caled it "Mount Kanga"?

LOL. That's one of the funniest things I've heard!:biglaugh: And exactly the kind of thing my DD would do, if we had roos!

 

[singledad]

Oh, and just to freak you guys out (we really need an "evil-grin" smily...)

Although, as I hope most of you know by now, it isn't true that we have lions and elephants in the streets, we do, in fact, have leopards in the green belts the criss-cross the city. You are very unlikely to ever see one, but we know they're there because people have seen their tracks, their nail-marks on trees, and the remains of rock hyraxes (that tend to infest said green belts) hanging from trees. And there have been tails of people whose property bordered these open areas who have had dogs mysteriously disappear over night...

&lt;evil grin&gt;

 

[mom2many]

So probably not the best time to tell the story of the time Sashie climbed on a dead roo on the side of the road and caled it "Mount Kanga"?

Oh dear lord! I spit my coffee every where!!!!!

:idea: This makes me think - do you guys also have owls that occur naturally in the area? Would it perhaps be feasible to encourage them to breed on your property? They don't only keep rodents under control, they're also beautiful, and provide an excellent education opportunity for your kids...

We have them, and hawks. When the fields are being harvested the hawks come out like crazy! Owls, since they are night creatures aren't see so much as heard. I believe both are illegal to kill out here. I have a problem with the hawks mainly cause they have taken a few of our cats...doesn't make me very happy with them

 

[bssage]

The only thing that comes to my mind about this whole thread is whether your son is resisting because it is a phobia, rather than a dislike.
I.e., was there a trauma associated with it in the past, or something - just like some people can't stand a wasp, a spider or a snake?
If so, then forcing the issue may not be the best approach. Just saying.

He is a little bit of a germaphobe. And his Great grandma is a freak about stuff. She had a fit because when we dry stuff on the line "bats will hide in them" But he is not OCD or anything like that. We like snakes and catch spiders. And he has been stung a time or two. But who hasnt? He washes his hands more than anyone in the family. But I think they preach that in school.

"Sometimes a cigar, is just a cigar" I think mice just creep him out.