My husband only has his two boys every other weekend, my son lives with us. They are all teenagers from 13-17.
My son has chores on a daily basis. So everyday, he has a list of several things he must complete satisfactorily or they must be re-done. On the weekends he is at home with us, we also have my husband's 2 sons. Weekend work around the house/farm usually takes up most of Saturday, and up until recently, everyone was expected to help.
Last week my husband told me he thought his kids shouldn't have to help with weekend work b/c they are only at our house 4 days a month and he didn't want them to always feel like they have to be working while there. But, he still expects my son to help us with what ever we are doing, leaving his kids in the house watching tv or playing video games. I know my son doesn't do any work while visiting his dad 2 weekends a month, but while my son works on a daily basis, my step sons do very little at their mom's house to help out. I just can't see making one kid work and letting 2 others do nothing just because they don't live there full time. If I let that happen it will drive a wedge between the boys and between myself and my husband and between my son and my husband - leaving me in the middle.
We have been married for 2 years so I'm not sure what sparked this change in his mind. Before we were married his kids were expected to help around his house, and they have helped at our house, up until now. This will be the first weekend since he has decided this, and I'm not sure how to proceed. I don't think the kids should work all weekend, but I also don't think that it's fair to make one kid help while the others don't have to.
Any suggestions?
My son has chores on a daily basis. So everyday, he has a list of several things he must complete satisfactorily or they must be re-done. On the weekends he is at home with us, we also have my husband's 2 sons. Weekend work around the house/farm usually takes up most of Saturday, and up until recently, everyone was expected to help.
Last week my husband told me he thought his kids shouldn't have to help with weekend work b/c they are only at our house 4 days a month and he didn't want them to always feel like they have to be working while there. But, he still expects my son to help us with what ever we are doing, leaving his kids in the house watching tv or playing video games. I know my son doesn't do any work while visiting his dad 2 weekends a month, but while my son works on a daily basis, my step sons do very little at their mom's house to help out. I just can't see making one kid work and letting 2 others do nothing just because they don't live there full time. If I let that happen it will drive a wedge between the boys and between myself and my husband and between my son and my husband - leaving me in the middle.
We have been married for 2 years so I'm not sure what sparked this change in his mind. Before we were married his kids were expected to help around his house, and they have helped at our house, up until now. This will be the first weekend since he has decided this, and I'm not sure how to proceed. I don't think the kids should work all weekend, but I also don't think that it's fair to make one kid help while the others don't have to.
Any suggestions?