Clothes and dancing...

[umb24]

Will it end with just flat out naked sex on the dance floor?

And if it were to, would we simply throw our hands up and say "This happens every generation". "This is just natural progression."

 

[bssage]

Well YES Yes of course we all will just throw up our hands and say :"Oh well kids will be kids"

IMHO The chance of that happening is the same as the chance of this question. Not receiving a smart @ss answer.

 

[cybele]

You guys mean you HAVEN'T had naked sex in the middle of a dancefloor during a Nicky Minaj song?

Well that's no way to live.

 

[umb24]

You guys mean you HAVEN'T had naked sex in the middle of a dancefloor during a Nicky Minaj song?

Well that's no way to live.

So, you have no comment on my last post directed towards you? Or did you just miss it? I was waiting for that one.

 

[Mom2all]

Yes Elvis shocked and appalled some at the time, but if you're going to bring him into the discussion, then you must look at what he actually did, and compare that to what is going on now. Elvis IMO was suggestive yes, but he came from an era when people had a better sense of what was simply inappropriate and what was just plain overboard. Nobody seems to give a crap now. Apathy, apathy, apathy.

Well... Elvis may be a little far back. I was in the 80's and 90's and my Dad listened to me hum "Like a virgin.. whooo touched for the very first time.... " George Michaels "Lets talk about sex" and my ever favorite Prince and all of his nasty songs. Hard Rock videos were the rage and some of those lyrics and clothing choices had to make my Dad believe I was headed straight for hell. Who was it that sung, " When I think about you I touch myself" ? Whom ever it was.. I sang along with her loudly. I didn't end up a big hoe.
I have restrictions on clothes. If it makes you look like a prostitute I won't allow it. Really vulgar songs aren't played here. However, I know from experience they have it somewhere hidden and sing the words loudly when I'm not around. Its easier to restrict smaller children but mine are teens and up now.

 

[cybele]

Yes I saw it, and I disagree, I think context works well. Envelope pushng and all that jazz.

 

[umb24]

Yes I saw it, and I disagree, I think context works well. Envelope pushng and all that jazz.

I was asking you to compare one to the other, and you're simply comparing how parents reactions to both have been similar. That doesn't address the facts about these songs referring to women with the b word, or talking about them in objectifying ways, or the dances being more provocative and more like stripper dancing being worse. That also doesn't make this okay, or give reason to brush it aside as if it's nothing.

 

[cybele]

I can give you a longer reply tonight when I gethome from work and amnot typing on a phone, however, no I do not view it as huge deal. Music is not the only influence my children have, and they kniw it is purely entertainment, not reality.
I have also never witnessed any of my children dance like 'strippers' nor have I seen any kids here do it, I think that is a cultural difference between America nd Australia, that isn't seen as "cool" here, so I cannot comment on that.

 

[bssage]

though it seems you've already resorted to calling me names in the other thread.

I kinda searched through the threads. Not sure what names I called you. But I will apologies just in case.

To answer your question from my perspective.

You have posed a question with really no clear winner for an answer. If we ban dancing and music. Kevin Bacon comes to town and host a dance on the other side of the tracks.

We (I) share my views: my values: with the kids. I try when possible to qualify my views with examples I hope they understand. When I say here "I find this disturbing" I tell them the same thing. I sometimes struggle trying to qualify myself to them. What it means and my best effort on how to achieve that. I try my best to model the values I teach the kids.

Self respect : and respect for others is big on my list. I want them to know what it is to like yourself. To know at the end of the day they are good and I am proud. I try to teach them to choose friends based on how they treat themselves and others around them. But to try and not judge harshly those who do not make the cut as people do change and no one knows what is really going on in their little world.

I try my best to listen with purpose. So that if I can answer a question I will know which one is important to them. And I do my best to give a proper answer even if it means looking something up or posing it to the forum.

I hope that my collective effort will keep them from making poor choices. But I give them the room to make those mistakes with my parental safety net in place.

Our society has controls in place for some of the things you are mentioning. Ratings for music and movies. It would be extremely hard but not impossible to restrict the dancing.

I dont believe that a "grass roots" movement by parents to ban any type of dancing or music will bear fruit. In fact IMHO it will have the opposite effect. Making it the forbidden fruit. And more appealing.

I see nothing wrong in people who encourage / or do not discourage their children to express themselves with clothing, dance or things that they identify with as an individual. As long as it is done within the context of what I consider to be good thoughtful parenting.

If it appears that I have thrown my hands up and said whatever will be, will be. Thats fine. The reality is I really only have control over my little slice of the world. That is what I am responsible for. And I am not going to loss sleep over something clearly out of my control.

 

[Testing]

I guess now we know what the parents of teenagers felt like when Elvis burst onto the scene in the late 50's...

And the parents in the 1800's, when the waltz came into fashion, and young girls wanted to dance with (GASP!) a man's arm around their waist...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that its nothing new, but its up to us as parents to help our children develop self-respect, and trust that this will stop them going too far.

Oh, for goodness sakes. Elvis, singing "You ain't nothing but a hound dog...crying all the time" while doing a little fully clothed hip-swinging was NOTHING like this:

Courtesy of 2 Live Crew: (lyrics)
Bend over and spread em, girl
Show-w-w me those p**** pearls
Rub that a** and play with that c***
You know I like that freaky s***
I like the way you lick the champagne glass
It makes me wanna stick my d*** in your a**
How hard? Hard like a rock,
When you make that p**** pop!

Sorry. You can't make a comparison there.

 

[Testing]

. Elvis IMO was suggestive yes, but he came from an era when people had a better sense of what was simply inappropriate and what was just plain overboard. Nobody seems to give a crap now. Apathy, apathy, apathy.

Yeah, this. It's embarrassing.

(And someone can edit out those lyrics I quoted if you want...just making a point. I think some people have no idea.)

 

[Testing]

And if it were to, would we simply throw our hands up and say "This happens every generation". "This is just natural progression."

Yeah, probably.

Then there will be laws to protect it under the right to freedom of expression, arguing that it is only antiquated Christian values that state that sex should be private, instead of a spectator sport that all should enjoy.

 

[umb24]

Oh, for goodness sakes. Elvis, singing "You ain't nothing but a hound dog...crying all the time" while doing a little fully clothed hip-swinging was NOTHING like this:



Sorry. You can't make a comparison there.

Thank you, Testing. That is my point. And lyrics like that are in so many songs now that girls are dancing to!

 

[umb24]

I can give you a longer reply tonight when I gethome from work and amnot typing on a phone, however, no I do not view it as huge deal. Music is not the only influence my children have, and they kniw it is purely entertainment, not reality.
I have also never witnessed any of my children dance like 'strippers' nor have I seen any kids here do it, I think that is a cultural difference between America nd Australia, that isn't seen as "cool" here, so I cannot comment on that.

Given that I am an American, it could very well be that American culture is not as similar to Autstralian, Canadian, or other "western societies" in Europe like the UK. Maybe it is more raunchy and messed up than in those places. I'm just describing what I see around me personally. I guess I cannot speak for the entire world, but I just assumed that what was popular here, is popular there. Since you did bring up Elvis.

 

[mom2many]

wow, you would have serious issue's with the music in my house...I'm talkin old school punk, hip-hop, rap, rock, metal..we don't discriminate.

Here's the kicker,I don't have children out killing other people. I don't have children out having sex in public places. I don't have children walking around looking like hookers, and gasp, they are normal productive members if society.

Music, dance, and even video games are a small aspect of a childs life. The biggest influence is the parent, they can make or break a child. The whole "we are ruining this country." or " video games, music and dance are ruining this country" is hog wash. Sorry..preach it to the choir.

 

[mom2many]

And if it were to, would we simply throw our hands up and say "This happens every generation". "This is just natural progression."

The truth is every generation pushes the boundaries just a little further. The truth is, it is a natural progression. That is what happens in life. Things advance, things move forward. Some things for the best, other things are questionable.

In 50 years what we see as pushing the boundaries will be seen as normal, and again parents will be complaining about that generations choices. That doesn't mean you are throwing up your hands, it means you are evolving. No one knows where we are headed, there is no magic 8 ball.

 

[mom2many]

There you go...answer.

But that's the wrong context. See, that's what I can a fire blanket statement. That doesn't address the fact that the subject matter at hand is more vulgar, more coarse and more without bounds than before. The fact that young girls dance to songs that talk about them in terms of body parts and spew the b and the h word every other sentence. Simply saying "this happens every generation" is avoidant and apathetic.

No, saying this happens in every generation is the truth. Vulgarity and shock factor are determined by the era you live in. There was a time a woman wearing pants meant the devil himself was gonna snatch you up. now itis common place. Show an ankle and lordy you were surely going to hell. see, that is the context for that era. The context in our era is different because it is a different time and place.

Yes Elvis shocked and appalled some at the time, but if you're going to bring him into the discussion, then you must look at what he actually did, and compare that to what is going on now. Elvis IMO was suggestive yes, but he came from an era when people had a better sense of what was simply inappropriate and what was just plain overboard. Nobody seems to give a crap now. Apathy, apathy, apathy.

Did we know at the time of Elvis that he would be the legend he is today? Did we know that he would be the founding father of what we now know as rock 'n' roll?

No we didn't, we no more know what today's artist will be in the future, then we know whether or not aliens exist. We do not know where that is going to lead.

 

[bssage]

Umb

What do you propose as a resolution to this issue??

Just for a moment lets think that everyone agrees. What is next??

 

[umb24]

wow, you would have serious issue's with the music in my house...I'm talkin old school punk, hip-hop, rap, rock, metal..we don't discriminate.

Here's the kicker,I don't have children out killing other people. I don't have children out having sex in public places. I don't have children walking around looking like hookers, and gasp, they are normal productive members if society.

Music, dance, and even video games are a small aspect of a childs life. The biggest influence is the parent, they can make or break a child. The whole "we are ruining this country." or " video games, music and dance are ruining this country" is hog wash. Sorry..preach it to the choir.

Right there, you are sassing me. Tell me this, if parents are unquestionably the biggest role models in a kids life, why am I nothing like my own parents?

Anyways, I have no problem with that stuff. Because there IS music, dance, and video games out there that are tasteful, non-violent, non-vulgar, etc. They just tend to be the less popular alternatives. If you look beyond what the mainstream pushes at everybody, you'd find plenty of music in all of those genres that do not use sex or violence or swearing to get their messages across. You'd find videos games that are not all killing people. And you'd find dance that is not brain dead and mindlessly sexual.

 

[mom2many]

Right there, you are sassing me. Tell me this, if parents are unquestionably the biggest role models in a kids life, why am I nothing like my own parents?

Anyways, I have no problem with that stuff. Because there IS music, dance, and video games out there that are tasteful, non-violent, non-vulgar, etc. They just tend to be the less popular alternatives. If you look beyond what the mainstream pushes at everybody, you'd find plenty of music in all of those genres that do not use sex or violence or swearing to get their messages across. You'd find videos games that are not all killing people. And you'd find dance that is not brain dead and mindlessly sexual.

That is not sass, that is a statement and a fact. Trust me, you would have an issue with the music I play in my house.

Sorry I don't believe you are 'nothing' like your parents. you may have chosen to not follow their path but that doesn't negate the impact they had on your life.

As for music, you are right. I choose to not make an issue of lyrics and instead use them as teachable moments. Same for video games...dancing isn't an issue cause my children lack any real rhythm, unless a mosh pit counts and I doubt it.