At 19 years old I gave birth to a beautiful little boy. Love of my life... for his first 3 and a half years of life I was a single mom and loved him and took care of him while working and going to school. I wouldn't have traded it for the world. I met my current boyfriend and after talking decided I would move to NY to complete my SATS and attempt to enter medical school. Being from out of the country I decided to have my son's father take care of him while I tried to get a place and apply for my Visa. Afterwards I wanted to bring him here with me. His father refused to take him without gaining full custody and convinced me it was the best thing to do (with the help of my family). After leaving it was hard on my son and his father decided to cut me off. He told me I was a horrible mother and never did any good by my son. He has my son calling his girlfriend mommy and it's his birthday today and I can't even call to say Happy Birthday. His father gives me ultimatums on having to meet with him to discuss things (he was abusive and controlling) so I'm scared. He's also threatened to cut me off completely if I return to the States which I have... I haven't seen my son in 3 months... and suffer from depression... my family has said he is doing really well without me and his father says he doesn't even remember me. It's making me wonder if I should just stay away... any advice would be great. I hate being made to feel that trying to better myself is selfish and I did bad by my son.