Do you consider yourself a good person?...
- Thread starter superman
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I guess there are a lot of things that I'm not proud of. And I too often will think back of some of them and get really down. But in the long run, I try to remember that all of these things have brought me to where I am today and I am not unhappy about that. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I try to not repeat them. One day at a time. You cannot change the past, so there isn't a whole lot of sense putting your focus there. It's important to not forget the past, because it helps you make decisions in the present, but sometimes you have to let the past be the past or you will let it f-up your future. YKWIM?
I feel like Julie. I'm far from perfect, and I've made mistakes. Most of them, admittedly, negatively affected me rather than other people, but I've hurt other people as well. Never intentionally, and never really callously, but if I could do things over I would.
However, I have always believed regret is a wasted emotion and generally avoid it if I can. Every turn in life brought me here, and while here is far from perfect, it includes my daughter, so I'm content with that. If there is ever a chance to set something right from my past, I will take it, but I try to look forward most of the time, rather than backward.
Of course, you have to learn from your mistakes, but I believe unless you can do something today to change what you did yesterday, you shouldn't dwell on it.
However, I have always believed regret is a wasted emotion and generally avoid it if I can. Every turn in life brought me here, and while here is far from perfect, it includes my daughter, so I'm content with that. If there is ever a chance to set something right from my past, I will take it, but I try to look forward most of the time, rather than backward.
Of course, you have to learn from your mistakes, but I believe unless you can do something today to change what you did yesterday, you shouldn't dwell on it.
To me, the question in your thread topic and the question in your post are two different questions.
Yes, I consider myself a good person.
Yes, there are things in my past that I am ashamed of. Its hard to say if I've forgiven myself, because that depends very much on your definition of forgiveness.
The important thing to note here, is that I answered the first question in the present tense. I wasn't always a good person, but I am now, and I intend to be one for the rest of my life.
I think I understand where you come from with these questions. You made some choices that you are ashamed of, and now you feel like you are a bad person. I was there. I did some things that could never be excused, regardless of the circumstances I did them under. I spent too many years alternately hating myself for it, and trying to run away from the truth. I damn near killed myself trying to run away, and the sad part is I didn't even care.
But get this - you are NOT a bad person. You screwed up, yes, but if you were a bad person, you wouldn't care. The very fact that you worry about being a bad person means you aren't, because it means you have a conscience. So get that poison out of your system. This is also why it is so important that you put all your energy into getting to know the real you, and figuring out who you want to become. You have to come up with a new definition of who you are, because as long as you allow your past mistakes to define you, you will be unable to move forward. Its a bit like trying to walk forward while looking over your shoulder
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You will probably always be ashamed of what you did. You may never forgive yourself 100%. But that doesn't mean that you can't change. All you really need to do, is to give yourself a clean slate, and the opportunity to proof to yourself that you are a good person. As with winning the trust and respect of another person, it won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight. But as long as you keep working at it, and keep believing, it is possible.
Yes, I consider myself a good person.
Yes, there are things in my past that I am ashamed of. Its hard to say if I've forgiven myself, because that depends very much on your definition of forgiveness.
The important thing to note here, is that I answered the first question in the present tense. I wasn't always a good person, but I am now, and I intend to be one for the rest of my life.
I think I understand where you come from with these questions. You made some choices that you are ashamed of, and now you feel like you are a bad person. I was there. I did some things that could never be excused, regardless of the circumstances I did them under. I spent too many years alternately hating myself for it, and trying to run away from the truth. I damn near killed myself trying to run away, and the sad part is I didn't even care.
But get this - you are NOT a bad person. You screwed up, yes, but if you were a bad person, you wouldn't care. The very fact that you worry about being a bad person means you aren't, because it means you have a conscience. So get that poison out of your system. This is also why it is so important that you put all your energy into getting to know the real you, and figuring out who you want to become. You have to come up with a new definition of who you are, because as long as you allow your past mistakes to define you, you will be unable to move forward. Its a bit like trying to walk forward while looking over your shoulder
.You will probably always be ashamed of what you did. You may never forgive yourself 100%. But that doesn't mean that you can't change. All you really need to do, is to give yourself a clean slate, and the opportunity to proof to yourself that you are a good person. As with winning the trust and respect of another person, it won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight. But as long as you keep working at it, and keep believing, it is possible.
Am I a good person - sure.
Could I be better - definitely and i won't stop trying.
Have a done things that I wish i hadn't - you bet, but like the others have said, I wouldn't be me if my past was different.
Could I be better - definitely and i won't stop trying.
Have a done things that I wish i hadn't - you bet, but like the others have said, I wouldn't be me if my past was different.
I am a good person who makes mistakes. I don't regret anything I have ever done and I wouldn't change anything either. I am who I am because of it and I like who I am, you will not find a perfect human being it does not exist. Part of life is learning and growing, it never stops.
I consider myself a good person, when I think about the bad things I've done none of it is that bad really, I've never put anyone else at risk (such as drink driving or talking on the phone when driving), I've never gone out of my way to hurt someone, never cheated etc.
For me it is more of a cultural thing, our culture is completely different to that of England, where I'm from you are so heavily conditioned to be good that very few people do very bad things. If they do, they are no longer an accepted part of that community. That is the biggest reasons that this years riots didn't spread to Wales or Scotland.
For me it is more of a cultural thing, our culture is completely different to that of England, where I'm from you are so heavily conditioned to be good that very few people do very bad things. If they do, they are no longer an accepted part of that community. That is the biggest reasons that this years riots didn't spread to Wales or Scotland.
Yea, I consider myself a good person, who sometimes does bad things and is trying to do better.
I've done things I regret, and I've hurt people, but the experience has been part of making me who I am. I've made ammends for my past transgressions, so the only thing I can do is to move on and try to be the best I can now.
I've done things I regret, and I've hurt people, but the experience has been part of making me who I am. I've made ammends for my past transgressions, so the only thing I can do is to move on and try to be the best I can now.
I am a good person.
I am ashamed more at what I have NOT done in my life.
I am good because I know the difference between right and wrong...and I strive to do right.
I am also steadily working on all those things I have not done in my life...I can now devote time to them as I am retired.
So far as some of the bad actions on my part...it is ok...I've fully rationalized them...
I am ashamed more at what I have NOT done in my life.
I am good because I know the difference between right and wrong...and I strive to do right.
I am also steadily working on all those things I have not done in my life...I can now devote time to them as I am retired.
So far as some of the bad actions on my part...it is ok...I've fully rationalized them...
I do consider myself a good person.
And yes there are things in my past I would have done differently. I've never done really bad things, but I've done things that I probably shouldn't have.
I never went out of my way to hurt anyone, I don't think I intentionally caused harm to anyone, other than breaking up with boyfriends or ending girlfriend relationships, just the normal part of growing up.
But of course, if I could change the way I did a few things in my past, I would. I think most people feel that way.
And yes there are things in my past I would have done differently. I've never done really bad things, but I've done things that I probably shouldn't have.
I never went out of my way to hurt anyone, I don't think I intentionally caused harm to anyone, other than breaking up with boyfriends or ending girlfriend relationships, just the normal part of growing up.
But of course, if I could change the way I did a few things in my past, I would. I think most people feel that way.
It's more than that.. But, I know what ur saying. I'm just frustrated.singledad said:To me, the question in your thread topic and the question in your post are two different questions.
Yes, I consider myself a good person.
Yes, there are things in my past that I am ashamed of. Its hard to say if I've forgiven myself, because that depends very much on your definition of forgiveness.
The important thing to note here, is that I answered the first question in the present tense. I wasn't always a good person, but I am now, and I intend to be one for the rest of my life.
I think I understand where you come from with these questions. You made some choices that you are ashamed of, and now you feel like you are a bad person. I was there. I did some things that could never be excused, regardless of the circumstances I did them under. I spent too many years alternately hating myself for it, and trying to run away from the truth. I damn near killed myself trying to run away, and the sad part is I didn't even care.
But get this - you are NOT a bad person. You screwed up, yes, but if you were a bad person, you wouldn't care. The very fact that you worry about being a bad person means you aren't, because it means you have a conscience. So get that poison out of your system. This is also why it is so important that you put all your energy into getting to know the real you, and figuring out who you want to become. You have to come up with a new definition of who you are, because as long as you allow your past mistakes to define you, you will be unable to move forward. Its a bit like trying to walk forward while looking over your shoulder
You will probably always be ashamed of what you did. You may never forgive yourself 100%. But that doesn't mean that you can't change. All you really need to do, is to give yourself a clean slate, and the opportunity to proof to yourself that you are a good person. As with winning the trust and respect of another person, it won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight. But as long as you keep working at it, and keep believing, it is possible.
i am a good person. i was lucky to travel alot before kids (and after,but its harder) and there only one thing i would change in my past. i said a stupid thing at the worst time, and ive regretted it since.
I know. Its never that simple. There is just no way I can condense a journey that took me years into a forum post, so I stick with the basics.superman said:
Hang in there - you'll make it. I see a lot of good in you. And if you want to talk, you know I'll listen, and try to give advice where required...
regreting about past is no solution. if you believ that what you did was the best you could do at that time then you are a good person. goodness lies in heart and if its there it will definitely show.
I believe I am a good person. I have done things in the past that weren't so good but that is in the past.
I still make mistakes but I try to clean up any messes immediately. Unlike Shiroi Tora I'm not sure I've "fully rationalized" the bad actions but I try not to let them slow me down.
I still make mistakes but I try to clean up any messes immediately. Unlike Shiroi Tora I'm not sure I've "fully rationalized" the bad actions
but I try not to let them slow me down.
Actually, I found it quite liberating when I stopped trying to find excuses, or "rationalizing" my mistakes, and just said ok, I screwed up - let me try to first make amends, and then do better in future. For me, always trying to rationalize what I did kept me from learning from my mistakes and moving onMJCorr said:Unlike Shiroi Tora I'm not sure I've "fully rationalized" the bad actions
Good point. I don't believe in excuses but I catch myself occasionally dwelling on the mistake rather than as you suggest, learning from it and moving on.singledad said:Actually, I found it quite liberating when I stopped trying to find excuses, or "rationalizing" my mistakes
I'd like to think of myself the same way. So far, I can see that my family is still happy and contented most of the time despite the everyday struggles. So i guess i must have done my part to make it stay that way. I agree that there are times that we do wish that things would have been better if we changed a few things from our past. But I guess what's important is NOW, we just have to make the most out of what we can do at present.NancyM said: