Gay parents...

[Jordy]

okay, i am not intending for this to get TOO heated (obviously) but it is something i am interested in... what is your position on gay parenting? i live in Western Australia which (i believe) is the only state which completely allows gay people the same adoption rights as straight people.. all states allow it to some degree but more in the way of one parent has a child from a previous relationship and the other person in the relationship adopts them so as to be able to make medical decisions ETC..

so do you think Gay/Lesbian people should be able to adopt children/have children through surrogacy/ through IVF... and of course why and why not?

 

[Antoinette]

well because of Michael and Spencer (and you of course) i completely support gay adoption and gay marriage etc.. gender isn't and shouldn't be a limitation.. you will be a great dad and i just hope that one day Michael and Spencer have little ones running around too..

 

[bssage]

My opinion on sexual orientation is similar to my opinion on race.

I either I like you or I don't. The rest of that stuff is just exclusionary crap.

When it come to having kids. The test should be more personal than political. Again that stuff is just exclusionary crap.

If you want to make a decision on whether or not someone will be a fit parent. You have to spend time with them. Talk to people who know them. look at the environment the live in. Not fill out a form.

I checked "yes with exceptions" which is the same think I would click for a hetro couple

 

[IADad]

Well, I've been thinking about this for a while, mostly because I don't want to give an un-thoughtful response. First let me preface this by saying I live ina very gay friendly place and one of the few US states that allows gay-marriage. for what it's worth.

My first gut reaction was "no," that I really think kids in need of adoptive parents already have issues to over-come, the best possible situation would be for them to be parented by a traditional heterosexual family. BUT, I thought about it some more, and the problem I come up with is what's to say that hetero couple is going to be good parents, or in a stable relationship, and what about singgle people adopting?

So, in the end, my answer is yes. and I didn't even answer with exceptions, but I'm going to add that the process of adoption needs to unashamedly have more focus on the abilities of the adopting parent to provide, financially, emmotionally etc, for these kids.. I thinktoo may times kids are placed with seemingly well-meaning but incapable parents and THAT's the part of the process that needs tightening. If you look at it from that perspective, opening adoption to gay parents makes a wider pool of capable applicants.

I think part of people's discomfort is what we grew up seeing gay people as, if your picture of gay people is clubbing, man0whoring studio 54 coke sniffing guys, then you have a hard time envisioning that person as a parent. The more people get to know more gay people to more stereotypes fade away. IMHO

 

[Dadu2004]

I personally don't believe in gay-marriage, therefore don't support gay couples adopting children. I have an aunt who is gay and I wouldn't support her getting married to her partner (who she's been with for like 15 years) or support them adopting a child. I personally believe that parents are 1 father, 1 mother, and children.

Nothing against you personally...I just don't support it.

 

[mom2many]

I believe in gay marriage, and in the rights of gays to adopt.

A home is a home, and whether or not that is with 2 mom's or 2 dad's, or 1 mom and 1 dad, a single mom or a single dad matters little to me so long as the child is loved, cared and provided for I have no problem.

I had a lot of gay couples I knew growing up. Some had children some didn't, the ones with kids raised perfectly well adjusted kids, I am sure there were a few problems and this was 20+ years ago, kids today are even more open then the kids of my day. Every kids faces some sort of "hardship" but with the right guidance any hardships can be overcome.

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

I totally and 100% believe in gays adopting and gay marriage. In canada, gay marriage is legal across all provinces, which i LOVE! I have many a gay man-friend, and i love them to bits, and they are absolutely wonderful with my daughter. I think as long as a child has a loving and caring home, that having two moms/dads or 1 mom and 1 dad really doesnt matter.

This may be a little off-topic, but it re-inforces my strong feelings on this.

A guy I know and his boyfriend were at the bar in town here, and they were just dancing. There was no kissing/touching or anything taht would make people uncomfortable. As they walked out and were leaving, three or four guys approached them saying every derrogatory word in the book. Mike and Ben kept walking. these guys came up behind them, and beat the living crap outta both of them. it went to court, and the men weren't prosecuted.

Anyway, I just feel that some people have such closed views of same-sex couples (im not pointing fingers or anything, just saying in general) and I think people need to open their eyes and realize, gay or not, people are people, and we should really treat others as we wish to be treated!

 

[IADad]

at the riskk of de-railing the thread, that's too bad about your friends, the case not being prosecuted may be due to unsymapthetic (blind sided) prosecutor or due to lack of enough evidence to secure a conviction.

on a related note, I was just in San Fransicso, (and no, that's not the related part) and there was this couple performing what could only be described as a contortionist act (it appeared that she was trying to fit her face into his mouth...) I was a little reulsed (and a little jea;ous, these were two very hot people......)

there, derailed enough now?

So, how about gay parents adopting? (reminds me of the Frank Calendo bit where he's impersonating GW Bush and saying he supports gay marriage, as long as it's between a gay man and a gay woman, or a gay woman and a gay man...just heard it coming back from lunch, made me chuckle.)

 

[mom2many]

IA you reminded me of when I was about 16 we went to a Jobs DD convention in San Francisco, we check into the hotel and there are all of these gorgeous guys, I mean a ton of single gorgeous men, us girls thought we had hit the jack pot....turns out it was a convention for gay men (the actual title escapes me). In a matter of minutes we went form extreme joy to utter disappointment.

 

[IADad]

oh well, eye candy is still eye candy right? I mean what did you really think you were doing with them at 16??? (and maybe you'd better not answer that...;-) )

 

[mom2many]

Oh we did enjoy the eye candy, we were 16 we hadn't thought past the "gorgeous guys everywhere" thought. LOL.....But I am sure a few of them would have known what to do with the guys...I was always the super shy girl in the group.

 

[Firefly4698]

I had never really given this topic much though until now. My intial reaction is to agree with what many others have said. A good, stable, loving home is good for a child no matter who is supplying it. I am not against gay couples wanting to adopt, but I feel, and same standards for straight couples, the home has to be a good, safe place for the child. The couple needs to be able to provide a stable, healthly, loving enviorment for the child.

 

[Jeremy+3]

Gay couples being allowed to adopt and foster children as virtually eradicated the need for children's homes in the UK, before they if you were taken from your parents/you lost your parents you would spend the rest of your childhood in a children's home where you had to earn you keep, that wasn't very long ago either.

I normally notice that the people who believe a child doesn't deserve a family aren't bothering to give these children a home in the majority of cases, it shows you how much they really care.

 

[Antoinette]

wow.. such a wide variety of people and still the majority of the answers are positive... this gives me hope for your future... one day we will regard this question with the same manner we would if you asked should people of different skin colours be allowed to marry and adopt which asked now we would laugh and say of course... i already think this about gay couples.. just waiting for the world to catch up to me hahahahaha its a constant battle

 

[AmyBelle]

I think almost everyone on here knows what my situation growing up was, and in turn, probably knows my stance on this.

I couldnt have asked for better parents, yes, one of my dads is biological, but my step dad was not able to legally adopt me because at the time we were the freak show family and god forbid two males raise a little girl.

The gender of the person you love has absolutely no bearing on your ability to raise children. I find it depressing that in a world where we have so many kids looking for foster homes and waiting to be adopted, we put such silly and trivial restraints on who can adopt/foster.

 

[Jordy]

That means so much... it is good to hear positive feedback from someone who was raised by gay parents because it tells me we are doing the right thing... we have so much love for these little girls and we do have the support of our area and there are lots of other children there age so hopefully that will minimize any bullying they may get at school which is a big worry of ours

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

thats so great ! Jordy you have to get to 200 posts so you can show us pictures of your gorgeous girls!!!

 

[Jordy]

haha, I'm not even at 100 yet... but i have so many pictures of them already i will have millions when they actually move in with me... i will be at 200 by June though anyway..

 

[kdryan]

Sorry, but no. I have no problem with what two people want to do in private and to be perfectly honest, I have batted for the other team a couple of times and it was not an unpleasant experience. I am not some right wing religious wacko. I don't particularly believe in a god, and I voted Democrat in the last election, though I tend to think of myself as more conservative.

But I do not believe this is 'normal' behavior. If you want to go have some fun, then fine, by all means go for it and get your jollies off. But I happen to think that a family is better off with a mommy and a daddy, not a mommy and a mommy or a daddy and a daddy. I don't believe in gay marriage.

Sorry, I'm not condemning anyone's lifestyle in particular, I just honestly disagree with it...

You may flame away now.

 

[Jordy]

and that of course is your prerogative. which of course you shouldn't particularly have to explain. i do however think that my partner and i will make great parents despite both being male..

But I do not believe this is 'normal' behavior. If you want to go have some fun, then fine, by all means go for it and get your jollies off.
.

your opinion its self i do not have any problem with as it is your opinion, but this statement implies that sexual orientation is a choice or a preference. when i was 16 i tried to kill myself twice because it seemed a better alternative than being gay.. does that sound like something someone would do who chose to be gay? I'm not with my partner because i want to "have some fun" we are in a log term, committed and loving relationship.. we have been together for 9 years and for the past 3 we have been in the process of adoption... again your opinion is your opinion i just don't like that you implied sexuality was a choice... you didn't choose to be straight so how on earth did i choose to be gay?