I am of the school that believes that it is important to teach kids how drink responsibly, from a young age. All those effects you named –dehydration, weight gain, liver damage etc, are real, but you have to drink considerably more than I consider to be ok, even for an adult, before they become real risks. However, they,(and a few others I can think of) make it very important for a kid to understand that alcohol should always be treated with respect, IMO.
I don’t drink any alcohol, ever, and haven’t for over 18 years (18 years and two months, next Thursday, to be exact
), but my girlfriend does sometimes enjoy a glass of wine with her dinner (obviously not now that she’s pregnant, LOL!). Since it isn’t something I can do myself, I love the idea that she is modelling responsible alcohol consumption to my DD. A few months ago my daughter asked her what she was drinking, and asked if she could taste it. We explained to her that wine was only for grownups, but that she could have a very small little sip, just to taste, just this once, so that she can know what it is like. She smelled it, and apparently didn’t like the smell because she pulled a face and declined to taste. (For now, I like it that way.
) We also used the occasion to tell her something about the effects of drinking too much alcohol, too fast.
I believe in the idea that if kids are used to seeing adults around them have a glass of wine with dinner or the odd beer at a social event, alcohol won’t be something mysterious and exciting. Yes, Xero, I hear you on not allowing them to have a puff of a cigarette or driving down the road, and I agree with those. However, I don’t have a problem with letting my daughter sit on my lap and hold the steering wheel when I pull the car into the garage, or something like that. She believes she is driving, but we’re not breaking any laws or doing anything dangerous. I see allowing her to have a few (small) sips of something alcoholic in the same light. (it isn’t actually illegal here for a parent to allow his child to drink alcohol under supervision – it is only illegal to sell alcohol to minors). As for cigs – She will likely succumb to the mystery of it at some point, but unlike alcohol, one night of excess don’t hold any real danger. The danger from cigarettes is more a long term thing, while alcohol can potentially do real and lasting damage in one night. So I’m less worried about unsupervised experimentation with cigarettes than alcohol. Either way, I believe you can remove the mystery out of alcohol without allowing a kid to consume significant amounts, simply by treating it as a normal (though not every-day) part of life. Allowing her to consume significant amounts isn’t necessary. And btw – I would be EXTREMELY pissed if another adult gave my daughter alcohol behind my back. That is totally NOT ON.
As for a 13-year old with a hangover – I agree, that is seriously messed up. A thirteen year old (or any underage kid, for that matter) should never have enough to actually get drunk and have a hangover. I could probably stomach a few sips of champagne on a special occasion, but then, what’s wrong with getting a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne for the kids, so they don’t feel left out?
PS: For the record – 14 months is way too young. I saw allowing my DD to test my GF’s wine as an educational thing. That 14 month old didn’t learn anything from sipping his dad’s beer.