My daughter is 20 yrs old. Super bright through school until her third semester in college. A young man introduced her to drugs. He's a functional drug addict. She flunked out. (Prior to starting drugs she was straight A, Dean's list, scholarship in an honors program). We gave her the option to take a semester off from university, get her act together then return. She said she would rather go to rehab than live at home with rules so we sent her to rehab. Three rehabs in 2014. First rehab she relapsed in 2 1/2 weeks. Second rehab she used while inpatient. Third very tough program in FL and by September, after 6 mo at this place, she was asked to leave because she wasn't working a program. She went out on her own, got a job,bought a phone, stayed in a 3/4 house and did very well. Stayed clean. In Jan 2015 she was able to return to college but only finished 1 of 4 classes. She had her car (gift for 16th BD from us) and wracked up $700 in parking tickets, one speeding ticket and car damage. She had no job so guess who is ultimately responsible for the fines? We took the car away. She is furious with us as she is not able to see her boyfriend who lives an hour away. She has stopped talking to us but especially hateful to me(mom)
She has lashed out via social media suggesting I swallow a bottle of Xanax. She told me I have been living off my husbands income for 20 years (I had a career then choose to stay at home to raise 3 children one of which is still in high school) she also said I was an academic failure because I am 2 classes shy of finishing a masters degree (only took 1 class/semester due to my childcare responsibilities). She will not speak to us and feels we are detrimental to her mental health. She has a 93 yr old grandmother near the university and she visits and stays for periods of time. I believe grandma gives her money and she most likely steals from her. We will only pay tuition room and board and food plan. We told her we would cease paying tuition for fall semester if her incomplete classes remain incomplete by the end of August. I don't think she will finish them. Talks about drugs constantly on social media.
I'm feel like I don't even know this person. We have tried everything we know to help her and she appreciates nothing. She is mean and hurtful to us and has destroyed her relationship with her little sister. It breaks my heart that she refuses to speak to me. I feel she will only reach out if she needs something or needs money. She goes through her dad and tells him she only wants to communicate with him not me. This feels surreal to me. I can't believe this is happening with my daughter. I am sad beyond words. If she's trying to hurt me, she is succeeding. How to I handle an adult child like this one?
She has lashed out via social media suggesting I swallow a bottle of Xanax. She told me I have been living off my husbands income for 20 years (I had a career then choose to stay at home to raise 3 children one of which is still in high school) she also said I was an academic failure because I am 2 classes shy of finishing a masters degree (only took 1 class/semester due to my childcare responsibilities). She will not speak to us and feels we are detrimental to her mental health. She has a 93 yr old grandmother near the university and she visits and stays for periods of time. I believe grandma gives her money and she most likely steals from her. We will only pay tuition room and board and food plan. We told her we would cease paying tuition for fall semester if her incomplete classes remain incomplete by the end of August. I don't think she will finish them. Talks about drugs constantly on social media.
I'm feel like I don't even know this person. We have tried everything we know to help her and she appreciates nothing. She is mean and hurtful to us and has destroyed her relationship with her little sister. It breaks my heart that she refuses to speak to me. I feel she will only reach out if she needs something or needs money. She goes through her dad and tells him she only wants to communicate with him not me. This feels surreal to me. I can't believe this is happening with my daughter. I am sad beyond words. If she's trying to hurt me, she is succeeding. How to I handle an adult child like this one?