HELP! My teen and her bed wetting problem!...

[new001]

Ok so Ashley my 13 year old daughter started having wetting issues about 2 months ago. Well at first I was calm about it and after about the second week of her having a wet bed every other night and a few day time accidents ,

I decided to shedule her a doctors apointment. We went to the apointment and the doctor concluded that Ashley's bladder is acting abnormaly because of puberty. He said that it will most likely be an issue that will go away with age and to just wait it out. We had two options either medicine or night time protection. But it turns out that the only bed wetting medication that they had would end up interfering with another med she was already taking. So we chose the protection instead.

We came back from the doctors apointment and later that night when I went out to get groceries I picked up some diapers for her. Well when I got home I called her down and she just looked at the diapers and she completely flips out! I mean like she was throwing a grade A fit. She yelled at me "I aint wearin no G%$ D#%@ diapers" and then she ran up to her room crying. Now I understand just how embarrasing this is for my Ashley and I cant even begin to imagine how she feels right now. But she really needs the protection and her room is starting to smell of urine and her matress is almost ruined by now. So I gave her the night to chill out and rest from last nights outburst. So I walk into her room and as usual her sheets are wet. She awakens and I can see the embarasment burning in her eyes, It made me feel like S#^t.

I tried once again talking to her calmy about the diapers and she still will not budge, by now I was thinking that maybe she just needs some time for the idea to grow on her. So I give her some more time to think about it over the course of the next two days and I finally ask her again. She still will not budge! Now by this point her room smells awful and I feel like I should just go in and change her into that diaper myself!

Ughh I dont know what to do I love her and only want the best for her. : (

 

[Dadu2004]

THere has to be something you can use besides something like diapers. Can you use a mattress pad?

 

[zeitgeist]

The easy solution for bed wetting problems. Super Absorbent and Waterproof Pads, With Generous Tuck-in Absorbs Up to 6 Cups of Liquid. Designed to fit a twin size bed. Wash prior to first use. Additives containing starches used during manufacturing temporarily reduce absorbency. Fits a twin bed.Ages 18 mos. and up. 38" x 28"

Handy's Potty Training Pad Twin - blankets, pads and pillows - The Right Start - Babies to Kids

Twenty bucks, washable. I would say that you probably don't need to mention the "18 mos. and up" bit to her, but there's no question that this is more subtle than diapers.

I've got a hypoallergenic sheath around my mattress - I'm badly allergic to dust mites. It's fabric, but the label said it was waterproof. I've yet to test its seaworthyness, but it's something else you might consider. Picked it up off the shelf at Target.
(And hey, that mattress pad I posted above is also available at [URL="http://www.target.com/Handys-Plus-Full-Size-Waterproof-Pad/dp/B00003XAQZ/qid=1227366458/]Target[/URL].)

Good luck.

 

[MammaJamma]

hmmm maybe get a second opinion and see what that doctor offers...just keep reminding her it will go away soon and shes not the only one with that problem! don't worry! puberty stinks!

 

[Pinkbook]

Handy's Potty Training Pad Twin - blankets, pads and pillows - The Right Start - Babies to Kids

Twenty bucks, washable. I would say that you probably don't need to mention the "18 mos. and up" bit to her, but there's no question that this is more subtle than diapers.

I've got a hypoallergenic sheath around my mattress - I'm badly allergic to dust mites. It's fabric, but the label said it was waterproof. I've yet to test its seaworthyness, but it's something else you might consider. Picked it up off the shelf at Target.
(And hey, that mattress pad I posted above is also available at Target.)

Good luck.

This seems like a good idea to me. Put the pad on the bed and put some plastic over it. Personally I don't think I could wear diapers as an adult. I can't imagine how embarrassing and humiliating has to be for a 13 year old. Even if others don't know she's wearing a diaper she does know and it makes you self conscious because you think everyone knows.

Also I agree with <I><U>MammaJamma</U></I> that you should try a second opinion, just in case.

 

[fallon]

I'd get a second opinon, I would be concerned that this is a medical problem

 

[Always-]

I'd also be concerned that it's a medical problem.
My younger sister had bed wetting problems like this and my parents took her to the doctor to discover that she was suffering from Night Terror Disorder.
So, who knows.

 

[BentMonk]

My 14 yr old has the same problem. She used adult diapers for a while, but now uses a mattress pad similar to the one mentioned. We have been to the doctor numerous times about this. Various medications have been ineffective. She even underwent surgery to repair tethered cord. The doc felt that may have been the cause of the bed wetting. Alas, the surgery basically did nothing. This was heartbreaking since the surgery was fairly major and recovery was long and painful. The results of a second MRI showed no abnormalities of any kind. The docs conclusion, and mine as well is that the problem is psychosomatic and she will simply have to grow out of it. My oldest son wet the bed, but stopped by the age of 12. My younger son wets also, but wears pull ups. My youngest daughter has had a few accidents, but does not wet consistently. Given the prevalence of wetness protection products for older children, bed wetting seems to be much more common than it was when I was younger. That, or it is simply more openly discussed. My wife had bed wetting issues into her teens. She said it just stopped. Neither myself or my brothers had this problem as kids. My personal opinion is that it is a mental thing more often than a physical thing. I think more research needs to be done to help kids train their subconscious minds to wake them up, rather than just buying them bigger diapers and mattress covers while hoping it goes away. JMO

 

[Xero]

I personally think you need to try harder to switch medicines to make the wetting medicine work. It's far more worth it to try the medicine than to make the poor thing wear diapers. I'm sure there's a way to make it work, don't embarass the crap out of her just because diapers are easier.

Also wake her up just twice a night and make her go to the bathroom. That could definitely help. You could even set a certain time for her to stop having drinks in the evening to make it easier for her to hold it.

I also would highly reccomend a mattress pad, but I don't see how that solves things because her clothes and the sheets will still get wet and her room and the things she wears will still wreak of pee if she's wetting like every night. And when you get the mattress pad, you should really get her a new mattress. That's so gross when people let their kids sleep on a mattress that's been peed on numerous times when everyone knows there's no real way to clean it (it will always stink, and I don't know about you, but I know I wouldn't want to sleep on it if that were me).

Anyway on another note, my step brother who is now 15 had a bed wetting problem until he was like twelve (he came to live with my mom at 11) and he had been to doctors, taken medicine, got diagnosed with a bunch of crap explanations IMO and everyone just let him get away with it because it "wasn't his fault". Then he came to live with my mom at eleven and by the time he was twelve the bed wetting magically stopped because of how my mom handled it. She was serious about it with him and that he needed to stop. And he did! Isn't that random? If it were really something medical, then do you think ANY amount of discipline would correct it? It was a behavioral problem, and as mean as that sounds, it's true.

I did the same thing till I was thirteen and it was because of my home life, abuse and stuff, and of course just in general no one properly taking care of the problem. When I was placed with my adoptive mom, the problem was taken care of in a matter of months. I was to many doctors who called it many things, but it was just behavior. So be careful who you listen to. Doctors are too afraid nowadays to look at moms and say "she's just being bad". haha you know? Cause most moms will get mad and be like "NO THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME KIND OF REAL PROBLEM" and they accuse the doctor of being lazy and not looking hard enough and not doing his job whatever. But yeah, I mean that's pretty much all I wanted to say. Not saying that I think that about YOUR daughter, what do I know? Just saying you should keep it in mind. I think we've all been through puberty, it doesn't USUALLY involve wetting the bed.

But seriously, good luck.

 

[BentMonk]

Xero my friend, you and I think so much alike it's scary...but in a really cool kind of way. I arrived on the scene when my youngest daughter was about 2 and a half. When she wet the bed I gently, but firmly explained to her that this was unacceptable and she needed to try harder to get up and go to the restroom. I told her that if she continued to wet the bed there would be not fun consequences. Oddly enough, she quit wetting the bed almost immediately. The accidents I spoke of happened when she was sick, so I didn't make a big deal about those. Coincidence? I think not. The other three were told from day one by their mother and grandmother that the bed wetting wasn't their fault, they couldn't help it, and everything would be OK. The damage was already done there, nothing I could do but offer my point of view and deal.

 

[Xero]

Yeah I mean, all my mom had to do with my brother and I was be serious about it. She explained that it's gross and unacceptable and we were too old and should be embarassed. Nowadays every parent that hears someone says that to their kids would say "OMG that's so degrading! You make them feel so bad over an accident! They can't help it!" Yes they can. A lot of the time, it's laziness. Not always though, I know there are a lot of kids with real problems out there, I just think a lot of parents take advantage of the fact that problems DO exist, and decide that's whats wrong with their kids instead of considering behavior since that's "mean".

I know it's weird, we agree on everything lol. I guess that's just how we roll. lmao

 

[BentMonk]

Yeah I mean, all my mom had to do with my brother and I was be serious about it. She explained that it's gross and unacceptable and we were too old and should be embarassed. Nowadays every parent that hears someone says that to their kids would say "OMG that's so degrading! You make them feel so bad over an accident! They can't help it!" Yes they can. A lot of the time, it's laziness. Not always though, I know there are a lot of kids with real problems out there, I just think a lot of parents take advantage of the fact that problems DO exist, and decide that's whats wrong with their kids instead of considering behavior since that's "mean".

I know it's weird, we agree on everything lol. I guess that's just how we roll. lmao

I took the same approach with my youngest. My wife thought it was hard core, but couldn't argue with the results. You're right there are legitimate problems, but I think they are much more rare than some parents would like to admit. I think you're quite a bit younger than me. The fact that we have agreed so often gives me great hope for the future. With a Mom like you Eli's going to turn out to be a fine man. I'm sure if or when he has kids he'll be a great Dad, and his kids will have a kick a$$ Grandma.

 

[Xero]

Wow thank you, really you are seriously too nice. Trust me, I've got my flaws and not everybody always agrees with me. But yeah, I'm only 21 but it's always been that way, unfortunately I've never gotten along with people my age very well so I guess you could say that means people my age aren't usually like this. But I guess people like me do exist so that's good lol. Thanks so much for saying you think Eli will turn out nice because of me... it's what every mother wants to hear, and it's not easy to get it from people when you're my age. &lt;333

Oh by the way I love your daughters name, Maleia? That sounds so pretty. I like that it's different too. My name is Raia (imagine it spelled Raya and you'll know how to say it).

Yeah, about that approach being hardcore, sometimes you just have to tell your kids the truth, and the truth hurts. But if a few mean words can solve them peeing themselves, well? Then it's the right thing.

I blame the life I grew up in for my early maturity haha.

 

[zeitgeist]

I blame the life I grew up in for my early maturity haha.

Some people say that people who had a difficult early life are doomed to revisit their terrible upbringing onto their children, especially when those children come early.

Nonsense.

Maybe it's an uphill struggle, but there is no reason to believe that anyone's children are doomed to a childhood that will match what the parent experienced.

Your kids have it better than you did? Good for you. :cute:

 

[Xero]

Yeah, that's always questionable. Some people that have bad childhoods are bad parents and do things the way things were done to them, and some people that had bad childhoods are better parents than most because they try the hardest NOT to do things wrong. Basically what runs through my mind is "That will NEVER happen to Eli, he will NEVER have to feel like I did, if I can help it. Because I love him."

It all depends on the person.

 

[Xero]

Not necessarily nonsense though, that totally happens. I hate young parents. I'm mean. (Ironic, right?)

 

[zeitgeist]

Not necessarily nonsense though, that totally happens. I hate young parents. I'm mean. (Ironic, right?)

Not nonsense that it happens; nonsense that they're "doomed." :wink:

 

[Xero]

Oh, well then yes.

 

[BentMonk]

Wow thank you, really you are seriously too nice. Trust me, I've got my flaws and not everybody always agrees with me. But yeah, I'm only 21 but it's always been that way, unfortunately I've never gotten along with people my age very well so I guess you could say that means people my age aren't usually like this. But I guess people like me do exist so that's good lol. Thanks so much for saying you think Eli will turn out nice because of me... it's what every mother wants to hear, and it's not easy to get it from people when you're my age. &lt;333

Oh by the way I love your daughters name, Maleia? That sounds so pretty. I like that it's different too. My name is Raia (imagine it spelled Raya and you'll know how to say it).

Yeah, about that approach being hardcore, sometimes you just have to tell your kids the truth, and the truth hurts. But if a few mean words can solve them peeing themselves, well? Then it's the right thing.

I blame the life I grew up in for my early maturity haha.

You wouldn't think I was so nice if you had to live with me. You're more than welcome on the compliments, they are well deserved. My kids will tell you that I don't do the false praise thing. lol I'm not perfect either and I'm used to people not agreeing with me. You're name is pretty also. Maleia is pronounced like Maleea, a few people say Malaya, but most get it right. She thinks it's cool that Barack Obama's daughter has the same name but without the e. I'm Paul, named after Paul McCartney. You're right you should just put the truth out there for kids. They'll respect you more in the long run. Some people don't realize that kids have very sensitive BS detectors. lol
Ok, now that we've officially hijacked this thread...

 

[Xero]

haha I'm sure you're nice enough.

Yeah I wouldn't feel bad about the hijacking thing, the original poster never posted again and it's funny because I originally wondered just a tiny bit in the back of my head when I read it if the poster was a troll. It seemed legit, but was the tiniest bit questionable. I replied anyway, but it never went anywhere because she never came back so I don't feel bad about steeling the thread.