Quote by Greyarea33 " half expected this kind of thing. Let me just clarify my original post here. I would never DREAM of communicating to my son that I don't like him! (Verbally or otherwise)"Unquote
You half expected what? that people might disagree with you? Well what else could happen? Your asking for advise in open forum with many members who have many different opinions. We're not experts by the way.
Obviously , You don't tell him you don't like him but sometimes what we DON'T say is worse than what we do say. I think he's smart enough to read between the lines I'm sure he has some idea that you don't approve of just about everything he says and does, that might give a kid an idea that you don't like him!
It appears to me that your son loves his mother, and most likely misses her, even if she is dysfunctional and irresponsible, he has a right to love her, I noticed in your post that you didn't mention how he feels about his mom, you only mention how YOU feel about her.
How does your son act when he's with her, does he laugh, is he argumentative with her like he is with you, is he genuinely happy? Is it possible that maybe you resent that just a little,(I'm not saying I wouldn't) but maybe your son picks up on your disparagement of him, and is hurt.
Again, I still feel a bit sorry for him,he's 14 ,going through puberty and thinks the whole world hates him, it can't be easy for him to feel that his father against him too. I don't know what the answer is but I'm reading a bunch of "I's" and Me's in your post which sounds like you feel you suffer more than he does. He has a lot less control over the situation, I just think that he suffers as much as you but in a different way.
Quote by Greyarea 33 "I was posting some very adult feelings on a forum with other adults who I was hoping I might be able to relate to. Just because I don't approve of the way he conducts himself, that doesn't mean that I don't love him. " Unquote
I never said that you didn't love your son, which by the way, if I thought you didn't love him I would certainly tell you so straight forwardly.
Quote by Greyarea33" I don't do drugs. I don't socialize or become romantically involved with criminals. I give my son rules and structure and I care about his education. I give him consequences for bad behavior. All of these things make me the enemy. His conduct is what I don't like. The way he treats other people is what I don't like. Please don't make such huge assumptions about a situation that you clearly don't understand." Unquote
Again a lot of I's and Me's here.
Everyone on a message board can only make assumptions since we only get one side of a story, So please do not dictate to me how I may respond or react to a post. I'm not your son.
You half expected what? that people might disagree with you? Well what else could happen? Your asking for advise in open forum with many members who have many different opinions. We're not experts by the way.
Obviously , You don't tell him you don't like him but sometimes what we DON'T say is worse than what we do say. I think he's smart enough to read between the lines I'm sure he has some idea that you don't approve of just about everything he says and does, that might give a kid an idea that you don't like him!
It appears to me that your son loves his mother, and most likely misses her, even if she is dysfunctional and irresponsible, he has a right to love her, I noticed in your post that you didn't mention how he feels about his mom, you only mention how YOU feel about her.
How does your son act when he's with her, does he laugh, is he argumentative with her like he is with you, is he genuinely happy? Is it possible that maybe you resent that just a little,(I'm not saying I wouldn't) but maybe your son picks up on your disparagement of him, and is hurt.
Again, I still feel a bit sorry for him,he's 14 ,going through puberty and thinks the whole world hates him, it can't be easy for him to feel that his father against him too. I don't know what the answer is but I'm reading a bunch of "I's" and Me's in your post which sounds like you feel you suffer more than he does. He has a lot less control over the situation, I just think that he suffers as much as you but in a different way.
Quote by Greyarea 33 "I was posting some very adult feelings on a forum with other adults who I was hoping I might be able to relate to. Just because I don't approve of the way he conducts himself, that doesn't mean that I don't love him. " Unquote
I never said that you didn't love your son, which by the way, if I thought you didn't love him I would certainly tell you so straight forwardly.
Quote by Greyarea33" I don't do drugs. I don't socialize or become romantically involved with criminals. I give my son rules and structure and I care about his education. I give him consequences for bad behavior. All of these things make me the enemy. His conduct is what I don't like. The way he treats other people is what I don't like. Please don't make such huge assumptions about a situation that you clearly don't understand." Unquote
Again a lot of I's and Me's here.
Everyone on a message board can only make assumptions since we only get one side of a story, So please do not dictate to me how I may respond or react to a post. I'm not your son.