Is this form of discipline okay to do?...

[ben503j]

Okay so here is the story. I have a friend with 2 kids. Ages 3 (girl) and 6 (boy). They are two of the most disciplined, well mannered, respectful kids I have ever seen. I ask, how does he do it?! He is a single dad with 75% custody of both kids.

He says one form of discipline he uses, is making the kids do wall sits, rather than spank them. You know, back on the wall, hands out at 90 degree angle and knees at 90 degree angle. Most of us did this in PE class in middle school.

I am considering doing this with my children as well... but when I made a similar post on another site, someone told me that she would call CPS if she ever heard anyone saying they made their kids do wall sits. But everyone that I know in real life, who are parents, thinks it's a fantastic idea as opposed to spanking the child. I agree.

I was wondering what your opinion on the matter is. I really do not see anything wrong with it. I would have much rather done wall sits as a child than be spanking by my fathers big leather belt across my bottom. Or the wooden paddle with holes in it, like my elementary school principal did to me.

So... wall sits. Good or bad idea for kids.

ANY INPUT APPRECIATED!!! THANKS SO MUCH!

 

[ben503j]

Also... I actually called the child abuse hotline and asked them. They said as long as wall sits are not done in excess... there is no problem with that. I am just curious what the general consensus is on this forum.

Thanks again!

 

[NinJaBob]

IMO any form of physical punishment is not the way to go.

Good luck with this I'm sure that this thread will either get ugly or closed quickly.

 

[ben503j]

Really? I came here for honest advice and I appreciate your answer. I do not want anything to get ugly. I am not here to cause any trouble.

 

[ben503j]

Can you at least give me another avenue I can try? I am having problems with discipline in the home right now and really need some help.

What do you do?

 

[ben503j]

When I was a child, in elementary school, my principal would spank me with a wooden paddle with holes in it. They would actually call my parents in and have them watch him do this to me.

My father used to whoop me with his leather belt, too. He would take his belt off, snap it to make a loud noise to scare me, bend me over and let me have it.

IMHO, I would much rather sit on the wall for 30 seconds then either of the former.

I really do not want to cause any trouble or cause an ugly thread, I respect this forum and its members. I am honestly looking for answers from other parents. I do not really have the best family or anyone to look up to, so that is why I come here for advice.

Anything is appreciated.

Thanks again.

 

[NinJaBob]

Can you at least give me another avenue I can try? I am having problems with discipline in the home right now and really need some help.

What do you do?

That's cool I'm just saying that spanking and things of that nature is a hot topic, one that most people are very passionate about on both sides of the argument.

There are a lot of other methods if you are truly interested. I wouldn't feel comfortable giving you advice without knowing more about the specific situations as well as a little about the child. People respond to different things in different ways and even differently based on who the one handing out the punishment is.

For example my biological father could just look at me and fear would take over my whole being. I would always tread lightly around him. My step-father could ask nicely, yell, scream, punish, ground and even take a swing at me and I wouldn't back down.

Ever situation is different and every child is different and it's a matter or trial and error and knowing how your child will respond. Some children respond well to physical punishment and some don't. My kids are pretty well behavd most of the time and I have never spanked them. But that's them.

Maybe it would help to start a new thread an tell us about the child and the situation. It may be easier to help you out. Even for parents who are willing to use physical punishment there are probably very few who use it all of the time and for everything. I just can't see punishing a kid the same for accidentally missing the toilet and for setting the dog on fire with a home made blow torch.

 

[Andy in NY]

That's cool I'm just saying that spanking and things of that nature is a hot topic, one that most people are very passionate about on both sides of the argument.

There are a lot of other methods if you are truly interested. I wouldn't feel comfortable giving you advice without knowing more about the specific situations as well as a little about the child. People respond to different things in different ways and even differently based on who the one handing out the punishment is.

For example my biological father could just look at me and fear would take over my whole being. I would always tread lightly around him. My step-father could ask nicely, yell, scream, punish, ground and even take a swing at me and I wouldn't back down.

Ever situation is different and every child is different and it's a matter or trial and error and knowing how your child will respond. Some children respond well to physical punishment and some don't. My kids are pretty well behavd most of the time and I have never spanked them. But that's them.

Maybe it would help to start a new thread an tell us about the child and the situation. It may be easier to help you out. Even for parents who are willing to use physical punishment there are probably very few who use it all of the time and for everything. I just can't see punishing a kid the same for accidentally missing the toilet and for setting the dog on fire with a home made blow torch.

If you re read the origional post, they were askint about doing wall sits... not paddeling.

We used to make my step son do squats under the recccomendation of his karate teacher and another parent. But when he told us he didn't mind doing them, we stopped.

 

[andrewdive]

We have never needed to resort to more discipline than 'profound disappointment' or, at worse, sending her to her room for a time out. perhaps it comes down to what you want to achieve - to be dominant or to have the child understand the difference between right and wrong - do the two need to go hand in hand?

 

[singledad]

Its a pity you didn't give us more information about about the child and the problems you are having with discipline.

The wall sits don't sound too harmful, but it does seem like a strange and rather nonsensical way to punish a child - what does it actually teach them that timeouts/grounding (depending on their age) can't?

Also - could there possibly be some bigger issue that causes them to act out? Are they little kids just testing the boundaries, or are they perhaps struggling to cope with a difficult situation, or something that happened to them? I'm a bit advocate of dealing with the root cause of a problem rather than the symptoms. Punishing a child who is acting out because he is struggling with something is not only pointless, but also counter-productive because it will only discourage the child from opening up to you and asking for help.

We really need more information in order to help you more.

 

[NinJaBob]

If you re read the origional post, they were askint about doing wall sits... not paddeling.

I did read the original post and while I agree that there are differences between wall sits and paddling. There are also similarities. They are both physical punishments. Whether you strike a chid or make him cause himself physical pain is a subtle difference IMO.

Using exercise is fine for military recruits, lord knows it motivated me but using exercise to punish a child could, granted not always put exercise in a negative light. Personally I choose to make exercise fun for my kids but to each his own.

BTW this is what I meant when I stated in my first post that this topic can get ugly quick. Andy in NY got a little snippy with me and rightly so. It's a sensitive issue. I'm only trying to help. I'm not trying to attack anyone. I know whats best for my family and I respect that we have different views.

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

Okay so here is the story. I have a friend with 2 kids. Ages 3 (girl) and 6 (boy). They are two of the most disciplined, well mannered, respectful kids I have ever seen. I ask, how does he do it?! He is a single dad with 75% custody of both kids.

He says one form of discipline he uses, is making the kids do wall sits, rather than spank them. You know, back on the wall, hands out at 90 degree angle and knees at 90 degree angle. Most of us did this in PE class in middle school.

I am considering doing this with my children as well... but when I made a similar post on another site, someone told me that she would call CPS if she ever heard anyone saying they made their kids do wall sits. But everyone that I know in real life, who are parents, thinks it's a fantastic idea as opposed to spanking the child. I agree.

I was wondering what your opinion on the matter is. I really do not see anything wrong with it. I would have much rather done wall sits as a child than be spanking by my fathers big leather belt across my bottom. Or the wooden paddle with holes in it, like my elementary school principal did to me.

So... wall sits. Good or bad idea for kids.

ANY INPUT APPRECIATED!!! THANKS SO MUCH!

I dont know if you trolling or what but you talked about this same thing here over a year ago.....

http://www.parentingforums.org/f5/3-yr-old-tearaway-9101.html#post89008[/URL]

Seems like you made that decision a long time ago or are still fishing for someone to tell you its okay....

 

[Xero]

Sounds really similar, but that may or may not be the same guy ECD....

Either way, I completely agree with NinjaBob that there's really hardly any difference between you inflicting pain on your children and forcing your children to inflict pain on themselves. Its the same thing, but some people think they can avoid the guilt by keeping their hands out of it.

I have done wall sits before, and they HURT!! My adoptive mom never spanked any of us kids, but she did sometimes have the younger ones "hold up the wall" (where you stand a certain distance from the wall and put your hands on it, above your head, and keep your arms and legs completely straight). It wasn't pretty, I almost would say it was meaner than an actual spanking. I can still remember my brother at four years old crying and begging to be done with it, with his arms and legs shaking and his face turning red. That's what wall sits would look like, trust me. Its just a different version of inflicting pain on a kid. I would be ANGRY if anybody made my kid do anything like that, to purposefully have him hurt himself.

In light of negative responses to physical punishment, you ask "what else can I do"? Do you really only know of physical punishment as a form of discipline? Surely I don't have to remind you of time out, grounding, losing priveleges, losing toys/items of interest, apology letters, writing (i.e - I will not hit my sister. I will not hit my sister. I will not hit my sister. lol). There are sooooooooooo many alternatives to physical punishment. What you SHOULD be considering is when is a situation REALLY important enough to call for a parent to hurt their child?

Now, I'm not 100% against spanking. But I do think that parents who do spank should NOT use it as a regular everyday form of discipline and it should only be used in the most severe of situations. I don't spank my son, but if the situation were bad enough (life threatening, dangerous, or just extremely shockingly bad lol) I might find myself using a spank to really get an important point across. I don't claim that this is right or wrong, but its how my brain works.

As for the wall sits or anything related - just don't. Its kind of cruel, I mean come on. Its easy to discipline your kids without hurting them. And honestly, IMO, if you feel like you have to call CPS to ask if its okay, then that right there should tell you enough about how good the idea is.

 

[bssage]

Either way, I completely agree with NinjaBob that there's really hardly any difference between you inflicting pain on your children and forcing your children to inflict pain on themselves. Its the same thing, but some people think they can avoid the guilt by keeping their hands out of it.

Well said. I agree with that.

 

[superman]

what the hell why wud that be considred chilf abuse god damnppl are so overdramatic nowadays

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

what the hell why wud that be considred chilf abuse god damnppl are so overdramatic nowadays

Probab cuz you are inflictigg pane on your chile

 

[superman]

Probab cuz you are inflictigg pane on your chile

its only pain if its exess

 

[NancyM]

I wish there was a law that made every parent have to be put through the 'punishments' they think will teach their children how to be " GOOD" .

Every child is "GOOD". It's the parents who don't know the difference.

I'm keeping away from this thread for now, because I'm already heated up!

 

[NancyM]

Probab cuz you are inflictigg pane on your chile

I couldn't say it better.

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

Sounds really similar, but that may or may not be the same guy ECD....

true...but not a stretch to connect

So glad I found this site again. I had another account but disabled the email account that I had attached to it. So I am back!!! This site is great.

talking about "wall-sits" with someone named "BenDavis503" from a year ago talking about the exact same thing....