singledad said:
LOL - Should I apologize for distracting you, or say I'm happy to help?
Believe me, I need the distraction!
I feel like I am in labor and giving birth right now.. I wish I could just go sleep now, (2:18 AM for me now) but it's for tomorrow... well technically today! It's good to get my mind off "Learning processes models" and patterns of transformational learning for a while...
singledad said:
But seriously, thank you. I find that very interesting. Of course, I would assume that most children develop as a combination of these, with, as you say - one being dominant?
Most parents use a combination of behaviors that are linked to one or the other of these attachment patterns. So their children end up mostly developing one pattern or another. For some parents, it's very clear how they behave and for some other it's mixed.
Even the best parents in the world cannot <I>
always</I> act in a way that promotes secure attachment, but if they do most of the time, the relationship should still be securely attached.
The exception is the abuse and neglect. It doesn't take much to seriously mess up the patterns of attachment in a child.
Thankfully, with a lot of care and patience and consistency, it's also reversible.
singledad said:
Quote question, somewhat off topic but of interest to me - I know that DID is real, but do you believe that MPD is?
Well, since I am not a psychologist and I mostly deal with prevention and non-pathological patterns, I can't give you an <I>
official</I> answer about this.
I can tell you that in the DSM-IV (the 4th edition of the Diagnostic Manual of Mental Disorder, published by the American Psychological Association), they used to call it MPD (Multiple personality disorder) and now with the
new version of the DSM-V, they decided to replace the term with DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), but I am not sure why. I am not aware of the differences between the two.
What I can tell you that, is that my very first girlfriend had been sexually abused when she was 11 years old, and as a Significant Other, I have personally witnessed the effect of several of these coping mechanisms, including a separate personality appearing sometimes, under some stress or under certain triggers. So I certainly know for a fact that it is real, whatever name we give to it.
It's terrible to realize how deeply damaged one can end up being, and for so many years, when living such deep traumas, or the sheer anger and helplessness of a loving partner in front of so much pain, even after sop many years.
singledad said:
Yes, I do. And I don't think I have to tell you which.
Indeed
But there is a 5th one I didn't tell you about, and you might like this one.
It's called <I>
earned secure </I>and it applies more specifically to adults.
It's when we have managed, after years of effort sometimes, to overcome our pattern of attachment to become secure and provide secure attachment to our own children, despite not having it ourselves in our youth.
singledad said:
Out of interest, and to test some other theories I've come across, I'd like to ask you more questions, although I'm not sure if I'm comfortable having this discussion on an open forum. Perhaps you can let me know when you have finished that paper of yours, and I can PM you?
Please, by all mean, my mailbox is always open to you. Just ask away. I cannot guarantee how fast I might be able to respond, but be sure I will.